Deacon's Birth Story - Part One

Of course I couldn't dive into the actual birth without the journey there, so I've done it in parts again. If you want to skip straight to the birth click here.

Deacon is 3 weeks now. His birth definitely wasn't the serene home birth I had imagined. This whole pregnancy was challenging. He gained the title Rainbow Baby because that is what babies born after a loss are called. Something beautiful after a storm. That name has been amplified for Deacon for sure. 

A shortish recap is that I became pregnant after trying for a couple years in September of 2015. We got a positive pregnancy test on October 4th . November 17th we went in for our 1st midwife appointment. No heartbeat could be found. They did an ultrasound where we saw that our tiny baby had only grown to 10+3 weeks. It took another week for his/her body to be born naturally at home on November 24th. Here is my complete miscarriage story.

I got pregnant again with Deacon in April of 2016. At 10 weeks I started spotting. I went in for an ultrasound and saw that everything was fine. I spotted on and off until 18 weeks. More here.

Kidney stones were my next bump in the road. I started having mild flank and bladder pain at 12 weeks, the beginning of July. On September 11th, I had the worst pain ever and when to the ER. Morphine didn't touch it so they put me on a dilaudid pump. That lessened it but didn't stop it. I started having non painful contractions every 2-3 minutes, so they gave me terbutaline. It stopped the contractions and my pain went away as well. I had a few little episodes over the next month, but on October 15th, it got bad again. Not as bad as last time, but bad enough to send me back to the hospital. This time one shot of dilaudid knocked it out. Thank the Lord it never got that bad again, a few minor episodes, but my CT after he was born showed it had passed at some point.

At 28 weeks I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes for the first time. I was able to stay diet controlled, but it was hard. I'm not sure I would have made it without medicine if he hadn't come early. 

Next was the threatened preterm labor. At 33+4 I started having more contractions 2-3 minutes apart. I went to the hospital and they gave me terbutaline again to stop them. It slowed them down, but didn't stop them so they also gave me procardia. They sent me home with another dose in case it picked back up when the medicine all wore off. 

I'm going to insert a bit about my home birth/provider struggle. When I first found out I was pregnant again, I was going to go back to the same midwife I went to when I had my loss, but I just couldn't do it. It was still too fresh to go back there. The only other CNM in town was pregnant too, and due around the same time as I was. I made a few appointments with local CPMs, but decided to interview with a CNM out of Danville as well. I sent her a list of my questions and she was very through. I ended up canceling my other appointments and going with her. She asks that you also establish care with a provider with hospital privileges. I decided to go with the doctor in Stanford that signs off on her because I knew the he was supportive of homebirth. My other pregnancies and deliveries had been so smooth, I really didn't think I'd need him anyways beyond ultrasounds. But after struggling with GD and being afraid of going early on top of kidney stones and everything else (by this time it was November and I was dealing with all the emotions of it being a year since my miscarriage), I had decided to transfer care to a hospital midwife. Since I wasn't 35 weeks yet, it made the most logical sense to go to someone who had privileges at the closest hospital with a NICU. I went and saw two. I decided to go with the 2nd because I thought she would be able to empathize with me because she was a homebirther herself. In the office, she gave me a steroid shot to help develop Deacon's lungs in case he did come early. That same evening, at 34 weeks, I started having contraction again! My care did not go how I had envisioned it though.

I'm just not a big hospital fan when it comes to labor and delivery. First of all when I started having contractions, I didn't even get to talk to see the MW I had just transfered care to. The OB she works with was on call. I hadn't planned on having any vaginal exams during pregnancy, but this whole preterm labor thing had thrown me for a loop. Cervical checks are very subjective and don't really tell you much unless you are assessing change with the same person checking. In the office that day I let my new MW check me so if I went back into the hospital, she could tell if there had been any change. Little did I know, she wouldn't come to the hospital unless I was confirmed to be in labor. Homebirth spoils you. I had to see another hospitalist when I arrived. I had found out there is a test for preterm labor called a fetal fibronectin test, but being checked in the last 24 hours can give a false positive. He decided to go ahead and do it because if it was negative it would mean I wasn't in preterm labor, and wouldn't likely give birth in the next 2 weeks. If it came back positive, they would have to redo it because I had let my new MW check me that day... grr. Of course his shift ended and I had to see yet another hospitalist. They tried to stop my contractions with just procardia this time and it wasn't working. They thought maybe the steroid shot triggered them and wanted to keep me that day on magnesium while I got my 2nd dose. That was awful. I was on it for 12 hours. I couldn't get out of bed. They had to catheterize me, put air compressions on my legs to prevent clots, and check my blood pressure every 30 minutes. It makes you feel like you're burning from the inside out. Turns out the test they had done got messed up at the lab so we decided to just wait until the next day to redo it. The mag didn't stop the contractions, so before it ended, they put me back on procardia and gave me something to help me sleep, but it didn't work. The procardia made my blood pressure drop and my heart rate go up, making sleep impossible. The next day I thought I was going to finally get to see my midwife, but apparently it was her day off so the OB came in and redid the test. It came back negative. PHEW! The contactions had finally stopped overnight, so I went home with a diagnosis of irritable uterus.

The next day I called my homebirth midwife and asked her if she'd take me back :) We thought that I wasn't going to give birth until at least 36 weeks. At that point I could give birth at home or at the hospital in Stanford, if I thought I could make it. If I could make it until 37 weeks, I could have my homebirth no question. Everyone said I didn't need to be on bed rest, but I was afraid that if the contractions started again, that they would cause my water break. Turns out I was half right....

Thanksgiving fell on November 24th this year, Dani's birthday, the baby we lost last year. I decided I didn't want to go to Louisville this year. I wanted to stay home and mourn where I had birthed and buried my baby. We have a few families at our church that are from out of town and don't have family close by. Some of them couldn't make it home for Thanksgiving. Our church is a family. When we lost Dani, they prayed and they cried with me. They give me strength through Him. We invited over a couple of families with the understanding it would be nothing fancy. Summer prepared the turkey breasts. Scott and Joshua did the rest. We used paper plates and throw away serving trays. What little dishes were dirtied, were washed by Jacob. Summer had cleaned the house in the days prior. I am truly blessed. I took it easy. I even did the shopping through Kroger's click list. It was a good day. I went to bed with no contractions. 

Read Part Two Here 

Deacon's Birth Story - Part Two

To read Part One click here

I woke up on November 25th, 2016 at 8am with no contractions. I took my blood sugar as normal for the last 7 weeks or so. It was just a little high, so I thought I'd go wash my hands and take it again. When I stood up, I felt fluid soak my panties. I was 35 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I knew I hadn't peed myself. I'm 39 and have gone through seven pregnancies, this one with kidney stones.. I've peed myself before. I started looking for dry panties with toilet paper tucked between my legs. I woke Scott and told him I was pretty sure my water broke. I knew it had, but there's always a little doubt. I felt more fluid come out and remembered I have depends. I got on the couch on my left side. I was trying to keep the fluid in and I didn't want the contractions to get stronger. I was having a few, but I wasn't in labor yet. I called and texted my midwife. Then called the hospital in Stanford to let them know I was on my way in. My MW offered to come in with me for labor support, but I declined. I figured it would all be smooth sailing and I'd have a baby in a couple of hours. Not quite... 

We got to the hospital(an hour away) at 10am.The 1st stage of labor was fine. I didn't want to be checked when I first got there because of course I was GBS positive and I didn't really want to risk pushing that bacteria up into my cervix without knowing if I'd get enough antibiotics in. I got the 1st dose at around noon. They were really good about me declining the eye ointment. The nurse was also very nice about me not wanting to be checked, but I let curiosity get the best of me. After the antibiotics finished, I was going to walk and if the contractions picked up I wanted a reference point to know if I was progressing. I knew being in the hospital with ruptured membranes was putting me on the clock, and I was feeling the pressure. I was about 3cm. 

We walked for about an hour. Scott went and got Arby's for lunch. I ate half Summers sandwich :) When we got back to the room I started bouncing on a ball. 
waiting for my ball
I could trigger some decent contractions there, but still not in labor. At about 4 they did my 2nd dose of antibiotics. I went ahead and laid down to rest my back and legs while we waited for it to finish. Then it was back to walking. 

We walked for close to another hour. The hallway made a square it took about 3 minutes to get around it. I started having a contraction about every lap. We went back to the room. They had my dinner waiting for me. All liquid, but better than what most hospitals will feed you during labor, which is nothing but ice chips. I had the chicken broth. The other stuff was sugary: juice, jello, sherbet, 7up, so I skipped them because I didn't want to chance a glucose spike and Deacon's insulin be too high and his sugar crash after birth. I asked to be checked at 5:30 to see if the contractions were doing anything. I wanted to get in the tub before it got intense. I was 4.5 cm. Progress. Finally in labor! 

I got in the tub and munched on some cashews. I browsed FB for a while then Summer and I watched watched a little Supernatural on our laptop :) At about 8 I guess, they started me on another dose of antibiotics. This is the part I don't like about being in the hospital though. I start feeling like a watched pot. They'd say, "You'll let us know as soon as you start feeling a change, right?" So like a good girl when it finally started to feel just a little more intense... like I couldn't focus on Sam and Dean anymore... I asked to be checked. I got out of the tub and found out I was just 6cm. This was at about 8:30 maybe. Time starts to get blurry. But it goes into fast forward from here.

I got right back in the tub.  I started a low moan to help me focus on opening and to stay relaxed. The doctor, who by the way ended up not being the doctor I had established with (he was out of town for Thanksgiving), came in shortly after and asked if he could check me while I was still in the tub. I was 7. Summer was by my side the whole time. My belly was sticking out of the water a bit, so she would pour water over it during a peak. Then I had 2 contractions that were really intense and I didn't feel like my uterus was relaxing all the way in between.

I got out of the tub and asked to be checked again at 9. When I walked out of the bathroom, it felt like there were a million people in the room, all staring right at me. My anxiety was rising. The doctor was there with his tool box of supplies. 

He checked me. I was 9, but Deacon wasn't liking these contractions. His heartbeat was dipping after them and he was still high in my uterus. I got out of the bed to try to get him to come down. I heard the doctor say to grab the vacuum. My anxiety went up another notch. After a few contractions, I started to feel a little more pressure and asked him to see if I was complete at 9:11. He said to be prepared, that if Deacon kept showing signs of distress and wasn't coming down, they would have to help him out with the vacuum. I was complete, but he was still high, so I didn't have the urge to push. His heart rate started dropping again, but he did better when I was standing, so I got back out of the bed. In hindsight, I should have squatted or got on all fours in the bed. When I stood back up, I'm not sure if I started having an anxiety attack, or my sugar was low, or what, but I started feeling a little faint. I started thinking I should just try pushing, but of course as soon as I laid down, Deacon's heart rate went down. They had me turn onto my left side. I was torn between not wanting to "purple push" and deprive him of even more oxygen and just trying to get him out. I was grunting through the contractions, looking for the urge to push, but it wasn't happening. They had me turn over to my right side and gave me oxygen.  The doctor was checking me during every contraction, which was super painful, and distracting from my task. I sort of yelled/cried out after one, "why do you keep doing that!?" He said he needed to know if I was making any progress because Deacon heart rate wasn't coming back up between each contractions and we may need to act soon. There wasn't an in between at this point though, they didn't feel like they were really going away completely before another peak would start. I decided in my mind I was going to have to either push with everything I had and get him out, or give up, and let them vacuum him out. So with the next contraction I held my breath and pushed. I felt him come down and kept pushing until his head was out. I asked if he had his cord around his neck, which he did pretty tightly.  The doctor looped it off then I reached down as I pushed the rest of his body out and pulled his slippery body to my chest at 9:34. I did it. 

He was breathing, but his heart rate was still low, so I let them take him across the room to get a little ventilation and oxygen after Summer cut the cord. 

His apgars were 6, 8, and 9... so he recover quickly and was back in my arms in less than 15 minutes. 

I took his blankets off as soon as I got him and put him back to my chest. I had let the doctor manage my 3rd stage, by pressing on my fundus and putting just a small amount of traction on the cord, mostly because I knew the sooner the placenta came, the sooner the room would clear and I could relax with my baby. It came quickly, with minimal bleeding. 

We cuddled and nursed for over an hour then Summer got to hold him at 11:12. 

We took him to the nursery to be weighed and get his Vitamin K and Hep b shots. I don't really think hep b is necessary, but we fully vaccinate and don't think it's worth finding a new pediatrician for. He was 4 lbs 15 oz and 17 3/4 in. His blood sugar was also great.

Summer took the 1st shift to let me try to get some rest a little after midnight. She held him skin to skin in a babywearing shirt. I probably slept for an hour. She woke me at a little before two.

I fed him, changed him and cuddled him until 4 something, then woke Scott (he had been asleep since midnight) for his turn to hold him skin to skin. I slept another hour and a half or so, until about 6. 

I fed and changed him, then woke Summer back up for another cuddle. This went on most of the next day. I slept an hour or so here and there when I could. Scott left at around 10 to pick up the other kids minus Joshua, who had to work. My parents came the same time as them. Everybody took a turn, then were ready to go, which I was thankful for. 

Scott stayed home the 2nd night to be with the littles. Summer stayed with me. I had napped a lot during the day, so I let her get a little more shut eye that night. ;) I did wake her up to go with me to get him reweighed. Instead of losing any, he gained 2oz. I had told them my milk had already started coming in! 

His last hurdles as a 35 weeker the next day, to get to come home, were his bilirubin and car seat tests. He passed both but his bilirubin was a little elevated so we had to follow up with our pediatrician the following week. He ended up on a biliblanket for one night, but it has been slowly coming down. At his 2 week check up it was 12 something. They'll check it again at 3 weeks. He's still been gaining weight like a champ. He was 5 11.5 at 2 weeks :)

Everything I went through was so worth it. Deacon is awesome and perfect in every way. Of course I wish that he could've cooked a little longer. Maybe he wouldn't have had such a hard time at the end of my labor, and maybe he wouldn't have had to have had his poor little foot lanced so many times, but he is my rainbow and for that, I am grateful. God is so good. Maybe him staying in the womb longer wouldn't have changed those things. Maybe it was God's intervention for me having a homebirth. It apparently wasn't meant to be this time. I think I knew deep down. I always write an in depth birth plan and this time I just couldn't.

Just pictures from here that Summer took :) 

My Miscarriage Story - Part 5

This is my miscarriage story, but it starts many months before our baby passed away... I'm posting it as series in case someone just wants to read part.

Part 1 - Trying to Conceive
Part 2 - Pregnancy
Part 3 - The Decision- Natural or D&C
Part 4 - Limbo
Part 5 - The Process
Part 6 - The Burial and After (contains pictures of miscarried baby)

Part 5 - The Process


Monday at about 3:30 I started cramping and spotting more steadily. After a while I got Scott to watch a movie with the kids while I spent some time alone, coming to terms with it soon being over. I decided go to bed and try to rest up at about 11. I woke up at 4:30 having inconsistent contractions, more than a Braxton Hicks, but still not too intense. I fell back to sleep after about and hour and woke back up at 7 with the same thing. I was suppose to go in for my ultrasound at 11:30. At 9 or so, I texted my midwife, told her what was going on and asked if she thought I should still come in. She asked if this was a labor pattern for me. I told her that by the time I know for sure I'm in labor, I progress pretty quick.

With Jacob through Raiden, by the time I got to the hospital it took less than 2 hours. Then with Sierra I had a 19 minute precipitous labor after 2 days of what just felt like pre labor. You see, I don't have typical labor and deliveries, so I really didn't expect my miscarriage to be typical either. I mean I was prepare for a lot of pain and a lot of blood, but I didn't think I would have either. I read other people having not horrific ones, but it's important to know that just like any other kind of birth... They run the gambit. No two, pregnancies, labors, births, or miscarriages are the same.

Because I was afraid of getting out and it hitting hard and fast, and since Frankfort is 45 minutes away, we decided it was best I stay home. I got up and started about my day... I started to think it was stalling, but I knew my body was ready. I took a dose of my tinctures to try to keep things going at about 10. We watched the movie that Scott had watched with the kids the evening before.

Just as the movie ended, at 11:30, I felt a little contraction, and a little pop. My water had broke. My baby wasn't going to be born in the caul(sac). I didn't tell anyone. I told Scott I was going to take a bath. I needed to be alone. I got in the tub and tried to relax and let it happen.. During the contractions I would bleed a little, but it would stop in between. I'm not sure how many I had, but they still weren't painful.

After an hour, I thought maybe I needed to get out of the water for them to get stronger. I started to drain the tub and dry my upper body. As I started to get up felt something coming out. I guess the contractions were more effective that I thought. I stopped the drain, sat back down and inspected what I passed. It was just a large clot, but as I was cleaning up the smaller ones from the water... I saw the tiny little body. I had a bowl with water in it, ready on the edge of the tub. I scooped him up and placed him in. I will be saying him, for lack of a better pronoun. I don't want to call my baby an it. In the pictures that I took, the baby appears to be a boy, but after researching, I found out that both sexes appear that way at this stage.

I got out of the tub and moved to the bed. This is where I had my strongest one or two contractions. Not as bad as transition labor, but probably about like the after pains I experienced with Summer when they gave me pitocin to help stop my bleeding. The placenta was the biggest part though, so that's probably why. It took about 35-40 more minutes. By 1:15 it was over. My bleeding afterwards was very minimal. The cramping was comparable to regular after pains, but this time I didn't have a baby in my arms to distract from it. One to nurse and release all those feel good hormones. Just my sadness.

My Miscarriage Story - Part 4

This is my miscarriage story, but it starts many months before our baby passed away... I'm posting it as series in case someone just wants to read part.

Part 1 - Trying to Conceive
Part 2 - Pregnancy
Part 3 - The Decision- Natural or D&C
Part 4 - Limbo
Part 5 - The Process
Part 6 - The Burial and After (contains pictures of miscarried baby)

Part 4 - Limbo

On the way home we stopped and picked up a few things. My midwife had suggested emergen-C and I got an extra iron supplement and some heavy duty pads. I hadn't eaten much red meat in the past few years, but anything to boost my iron and blood count would be a plus, so we stopped and got burgers and I started loading my body with extra water.

I won't say waiting was easy. I felt like I was on pause, but I also welcomed the opportunity to prepare. I started combing the internet for stories and advice. The next day I picked up some motherwort, evening primrose, and raspberry leaf tea to help my body prepare for what was coming. I bought a plastic shower curtain and an extra sheet to protect our mattress and some extra towels. Actually, it was everything I would have done to prepare for any homebirth. I took the kids to the park for a little hike. It was fittingly gloomy. As if nature was sad too. Just as we were leaving the clouds released their tears. I took everyone but Summer home. We went and ate a steak dinner with spinach and brocolli and potatoes... iron, iron, and more iron.

I told a few people, my sister, my closest friends, and my church family. I wanted their prayers and support, but I didn't want to tell too many people until it was over. I also reached out to a friend from co-op, Bethany. We met when we first started homeschooling. Her and her family had moved to Florida a few years ago. Back in April she had lost her baby at around 4 months. She was very outspoken about breaking the silence of grief for pregnancy loss.

My dear sweet  friend Annie brought me my favorite no bake cookies the next morning. Bethany had just recently moved back, so we met at the park Thursday afternoon for the kids to play and us to visit. It was nice to be able to talk to someone who could truly get it, who understood what I was going through and why I had made the choice I did. She even offered to be there when it was time if I needed her to be. I praise Jesus for the loving people He has placed in my life to encourage me in such a dark time. My mom and my sister already had plans this week to have lunch with my niece here in Lexington that day, so I met with them at Cracker Barrel. My evenings were spent researching.

I woke up early the next morning, about 5. I can't remember exactly what my dream was about, but I knew it was about Bethany and her baby she had lost, Blue. In the back ground of my dream part of the George Straight song, Baby Blue, was playing... "like a breath of spring you came and left, but I just don't know why..." I decided to look up songs that were about miscarriage. I found a lot of good ones. Some were about pregnancy loss, some infant, and some child. I had cried nearly every day since I found out my baby was gone, but I had been holding back. This time, reading through the words of those songs, I let go. I felt all the raw emotion going through me.  That afternoon Summer and I went shopping for more herbs... I got black and blue cohosh, yarrow, and women's moon cycle tea. I could tell the herbs I had been taking were helping. I was having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions and the primrose should have been softening my cervix. The cohoshes were suppose to help strengthen those and ripen my cervix even more. I also picked up pads for the bed... the medical supply store had been closed when I had tried to pick them up before.

Again Saturday I awoke in the wee hours of the morning. I knew the Lord must have something else for me. I found a great Christian website that has a collection of stories and photos and practical advice. It was then that I knew the Baby Dani would have a purpose. At the very least I would share my story to help other women going through the same thing. I also hope that through this I would be able to show others the humanity of the unborn, even if only to my own children, but hopefully more. "A person's a person, no matter small." -Dr. Seuss

I wanted to keep myself moving, so that afternoon Summer and I went to the grocery store to shop for Thanksgiving. We were originally going to go see Scott's grandma in Maryland. We debated, depending on when it happened, going to my parents house, but I just didn't think I would want to get out so soon. This whole week I had chosen not to go to all the places I normally go to. I didn't want to be around a lot of people who knew I was pregnant, even people who knew what was happening... I didn't want to do crowds. I have a big family though, and did have company, and was getting out, so I wasn't being a recluse. Just dealing in my own way. Someone else may choose to try to keep things as normal as possible. Only thinking about the impending miscarriage may drive someone else crazy, but it was therapeutic for me.

Sunday I decided to take a break though. I had been gradually increasing the herbs and I was tired of finding excuses to walk. I just needed to rest my mind and body. I had prepare as much physically, emotionally, and spiritually as I possibly could. It was in God's hand now. Summer and I stayed in the bed and watched movies and TV all day.

My Miscarriage Story - Part 3

This is my miscarriage story, but it starts many months before our baby passed away... I'm posting it as series in case someone just wants to read part.

Part 1 - Trying to Conceive
Part 2 - Pregnancy
Part 3 - The Decision- Natural or D&C
Part 4 - Limbo
Part 5 - The Process
Part 6 - The Burial and After (contains pictures of miscarried baby)

Part 3 - The Decision - Natural or D&C

My midwife and I went over my history a little, I was anxious to get to the doppler though. A few times we heard some beats, put I could tell it was me. She went and got a handheld ultrasound. The resolution is low, but there was definitely a baby there... and definitely no movement or flutter of a little heart. We then moved into the 2D ultrasound room. The baby measured 10.3 weeks, so 3.8 cm or about an inch and a half. The printer on that machine wasn't working, so we went to the 3D ultrasound room. She got one of the doctors to come in and confirm what we already knew... our baby had passed away. Then comes the decision.

My choices were to go home and let nature take its course or schedule a d&c. It was a no brainer for me, but I listened as the medically managed minded doctor tried to convince me to have the procedure. She wanted me to go home and process what had happened and then come back in on Thursday or Friday. I appreciate that that may be the right choice for some women. For some, the idea of not knowing when it will happen, or the knowledge that they're walking around pregnant with their baby that has already passed, is too much to bear. They may have wanted medically managed birth for their baby to start with. It may be their way of maintaining control of the situation. That is okay.... but that is not me. She advised me that they don't recommend that you have a natural miscarriage after the baby is 2.5 centimeters. That it would be like labor, but with a lot of bleeding, and that I may find it traumatic. That she would hate for it to happen on Thanksgiving... but I couldn't have cared less about turkey in that moment. I could tell my midwife was biting her tongue, so I just politely and waited for her to finish. Not once it she say I would be putting my life in danger by choosing to just go home, so my mind was made up. When she was done my midwife said we should go back to the exam room and talk.

She told me, without me having to say a word, that she thought she knew where my heart was and why I wanted to do it. That not only did I need my mind to process it, but I wanted my body to, and that I wanted to see my baby and say goodbye. She was right. She told me that ideally, I would start cramping and bleeding, then contractions would start and build up like labor. I would release the baby still in the amniotic sac, followed by the placenta, and then my uterus would be able to clamp down and slow the bleeding. That there would be probably be a lot of bleeding and that I may feel faint... to try to remain lying down.  I thanked her and told her how much I appreciated her understanding and support. She hugged me and told me how sorry she was that I was going going through this... I pray I get to have her as my midwife again some day.

We made an appointment for the next Tuesday, in hopes it would be over by then, for another ultrasound to insure everything passed. I had the nurse get mom and the girls and broke the news. Then we went home.

Co-sleeping AP update

In my post My Journey to Attachment Parenting http://everevolvingeve.blogspot.com/2011/01/my-journey-to-attachment-parenting.html , I talked about how the sleeping arrangements are always changing at my house. This happens when everybody isn't getting the best sleep, we find what works better for this stage of that child development. When I left off we had just moved Ronan into Jacob old room. Sometimes he would sleep in there and other times he would end up in the big boys bed. The PS3 is in Ronans room and Joshua has started playing online with his friends. He gets to stay up until 10, an hour after Jacob and Summer. So a lot of times Jacob would get Ronan to come to bed with him. This would be fine except a) It would keep the boys from being able to make their bed in the morning or b) they would end up waking him up. So we decided to put an extra mattress in the floor in our bedroom. The other night he decided to get into our bed. I told Scott I didn't think it was a good idea because there wouldn't be room once the baby gets here. I was afraid it would become a habit and then he would resent the baby for kicking him out of mommy and daddys bed!  Scott insisted it wouldn't be a problem. Ronan kicks a lot so Scott slept in the middle to "protect" me. I ended up with very little bed. This in itself was a problem for me being pregnant. I have to sleep on my side and I use my top knee like a kick stand to prop me up. I didn't have room to do this. Then I woke up with no covers and Ronan was laying on top of them so I couldn't just pull them back over!  The next day I began to contemplate a solution. I decided it would be best if Scott slept in Ronans bed with him. He gets the security he's seeking. Then when the new baby gets here we will have plenty of room!

Tonight Ronan jumped up in the bed with me. I told him he needed to get in his bed with Daddy. He said, "but I love you!" I was like Awe! Go get your pillow and blankie! He ended up laying back down with Scott. I guess he just needed to know I would let him if he really wanted to.

I know some people wouldn't agree, but it works for us. With Joshua, he ended up in the back in the bed with us after his crib. At one point we had a full size bed and a twin bumped up together. Scott and Joshua on the big bed, me on the twin! We transitioned him back to his own space when he turned 5 no problem. Well, with Jacob!

Homebirth Birth Plan

I decided to write a birth plan for everyone that is going to be a part of the birth and in case of a transfer. I figured all my visualizations are useless unless everybody is on the same page. This will also minimize me having to make any decisions for that day and keep everyone from asking me questions. It will be especially beneficial for my kids and my mom. It will also be good in the event my midwife can't make it and a back up has to come.

Even though my plans sound VERY specific, I know through experience, everything won't go according to plan. But I also know how powerful faith and visualization is.  So here it is:

Homebirth Plan

Scott-

Early labor (up to 5cm) 2-3 hrs

If you are at work when I go into labor, remind me to eat an orange, pick the kids up from school and come straight home. Make sure starting at 36 weeks, April 20, you get gas on the way to work.

Get plastic sheet(shower curtain) out of supply box(w/pink lid), put it on bed over gold fitted sheet. Put red fitted sheet out of supply box over plastic sheet. Remake bed. Fold down covers to foot of bed.

Clean tub with Scrubbing Bubbles(under sink). Make sure to rinse well and put rag in hamper hanging on laundry room door.

Plug in my iPhone on your side of bed. Turn on Labor Playlist. The iPod app is in the movies/tv folder. Be sure to press shuffle.

I'll probably be showering, getting pretty at this time. Video the clock briefly then a short clip of whatever I'm doing and everybody else. Feel free to talk to the camera but not direct to me. Take some still shots too.

We can then lay in bed and relax a bit before it gets intense. Eat a tictac and give me one. Rub my back/neck/belly... Like we have practiced. You can use the remote for the still camera to take some pics.

If/when I find the bed uncomfortable, I will move to the rocking chair. Make sure i have plenty of pillows. You can rub my feet then... With the lotion on the table next to the chair.  Video/pics update.

Active Labor (5-7/8cm) 1-2hrs

When that playlist is over we should call the midwife(melissa) and go for a walk. Video the clock and give an update before we go. Remind me to pee and take a water. Summer can come with us and take some pics with my phone along the way. We'll just walk the back road a time or two. If it is nighttime, I will make the birthday cup cakes during this time.

By the time we get back I'll probably be ready to get in the tub. If Melissa is there have Summer run the bath.  Make the water pretty hot, it'll cool down before the baby gets here. Video the clock and update. Video/take pics of Melissa taking my BP, listening to the baby, and setting up.  

Transition/Birth (7/8cm to Baby) 1hr

Put my phone on the edge of the tub, turn on the Birth Playlist with shuffle. Light the candles on the back of the tub. Make sure a towel is hung by the shower and it goes to the wall. If more light is needed, turn on light in laundry room  Video the clock and update. Set up cameras in the bathroom.  Make sure you take lots of pictures. Check how much video time we have left frequently. If it gets close to five minutes, flip the disk or change it. Extras are in the front zipper of the camera bag. Keep it plugged in for the most part.  While I'm in the tub keep me cool with cool rags, a hand held fan, and juice pops that Summer will provide. You can play on your phone some, no sound, no headphones.

Hopefully by the time the playlist is over we will have a baby. If not, suggest I stand for a bit and use the bathroom. Restart playlist. Video clock, update and take still shots.

When I say it's time to push make sure you are videoing. Ask if you have time to put in a new disk.

After the birth turn on the Baby Playlist. Video and take lots of pics! Then set everything back up in the bedroom.

During Labor you can kiss me as much as you want as long as you have a tictac, offer them to me too. No coffee until after the birth.  While I'm standing you can offer for me to lean on you through a wave, make sure if I have my arms on your shoulders you lean down a bit so I'm not on my tip toes. Massage me between waves only, do not pet my head at anytime. You can brush my hair with a hair brush. Say wave or opening instead of contraction. Uncomfortable instead of pain. And intense or strong instead of hard.

Summer

When mommy goes in labor put fruit, granola bars, nuts, crackers, and any other snack in a basket. Put waters in the little cooler by the shoe cube and put ice in. Bring both upstairs. One of your jobs will be to ask daddy,the midwife(Melissa), and her assistant(either Candace or Shanty) if they need anything and get it for them if they do.

After you've gotten snacks upstairs and Daddy and I are ready, we want to rest in private for about an hour. Then if it's light outside we will go for a walk. Take my phone and take pictures along the way. We don't need to be looking at you or the camera. Take some from behind us, some in front. Some while walking, some during waves when we stop.

If it's nighttime, we will make birthday cup cakes during this time.  

You can stay upstairs if you want after Melissa gets here. If it's light out this is when Granny will make the cup cakes. You can chose which you want to do or go back and forth.

Once I get in the tub it will be extra quiet time. Make sure to whisper, ask Daddy every now and then if I need a juice pop. You can come in the bathroom or hang out in my room quietly. Don't ask how long it's going to be, only God knows. Don't ask if it hurts, we have talked about this, it can get very uncomfortable, that's why I need to focus on relaxing and opening up so the baby can come out. If I moan or make noises it doesn't mean I'm not ok, that helps me open up too.  I might get sick when it gets close to time, thats normal. Sometimes, while pushing the baby out  poop gets in the water, Melissa will scoop it out with a net if that happens. Be aware of where the video camera is, don't get in front of it.

After the baby is born we will wait for a while before cutting the cord, hopefully until the placenta is delivered. I will have to push a little again to get it out but it's not like pushing the baby out. The water will get some blood in it but that's ok it doesn't mean it's dirty. We will get out after the placenta comes and the cord is cut.

After I have breastfed, Melissa has checked the baby, measured and weighed, and Daddy has held him/her, you can. No bugging or fighting. You and Granny can then go make me something to eat. After everyone has had a turn and Melissa leaves I might need to take a nap with the baby. I'll let you know when you can come back up. Don't bug.

The 1st morning after the baby is born, you and Granny can bring me breakfast in bed, scrambled eggs, peaches, grits, and bacon with coffee and OJ.

I love you! You are such a big helper!!!

Granny

When I go into labor you can help Summer with her prep list. If Scott is home he will prepare upstairs. If not here is the list...

Get plastic sheet(shower curtain) out of supply box(w/pink lid), put it on bed over gold fitted sheet. Put red fitted sheet out of supply box over plastic sheet. Remake bed. Fold down covers to foot of bed.

Clean tub with Scrubbing Bubbles(under sink). Make sure to rinse well and put rag in hamper hanging on laundry room door.

Scott and I want about an hour of private time in the beginning.

If it's light out, you will make the cup cakes when we get back from our walk in case Summer wants to help.

If it's dark I'll help make them with you guys.

Once I'm in the tub you and the boys are welcome to come upstairs and hang out in the bedroom as long as they are being good. Just send the big boys downstairs by themselves if you want. If they are occupied downstairs Ronan can stay down with them or even by himself. A brief visit in the bathroom to to see what's going on is fine. For the big boys make sure I'm sitting up in tub, not reclined or standing. As long as Ronan and Raiden aren't throwing fits they can come in and out as they please. If they get too out of hand even downstairs, take them outside. I'll have Summer yell for you when it's time.  Be aware of where the video camera is.

Raiden naps at 1:00 and goes to bed at 8:00. If I'm in labor, put him down in the main floor nursery. Ronan doesn't nap and can crash wherever. Don't worry about making the kids go to bed. They can miss school the next day. They can eat when and what they want, just make sure they pick up after themselves. We won't worry about chores that day either.

Read Summers plan for more info on the actual birth, the big boys will need to stay in the bedroom. If the water is murky enough they can come in directly after, but they will need to go again while I initiate breastfeeding.

After everyone has held him/her, you and Summer can go make me something to eat. A turkey sandwich with cheese and mayo, a pickle, and an oriental salad would be good.

The first night after the birth I'd like you to sleep in our room so you can take a holding/rocking shift if need be.

Thank you sooo much for all your help!

Joshua and Jacob

There will be no school or chores on delivery day. You can eat when you want, what you want as long as you pick up after yourselves. You can help make cup cakes but you can't eat them until after the birth. You are not to ask Mommy or Daddy for anything or to settle any disputes, direct everything to Granny. You may go on our walk with us as long as you are good. If you are not you will be sent directly back to the house. Summer will be in charge of taking pictures with my phone. If you want to take pictures Jacob can bring your DS, or your camera. Joshua can bring your DS, or Daddys phone.

You can come upstairs once I'm in the tub but you have to be super quiet. Whisper in my room. If you want to come in the bathroom to see what's going on, ask granny to check to see if I'm covered. No talking in the bathroom. If you act up you will be sent downstairs. Help granny with Ronan. If he need a game or something to eat, Joshua needs to do it. If he needs a show or milk, Jacob needs to do it. Be aware of where the video camera is, don't get in front of it.

Don't ask how long it's going to be, only God knows. Don't ask if it hurts, we have talked about this, it can get very uncomfortable, that's why I need to focus on relaxing and opening up so the baby can come out. If I moan or make noises it doesn't mean I'm not ok, that helps me open up too. When it's time for the baby to actually be born, you need to wait in the bedroom.

After the baby is born we will wait for a while before cutting the cord, hopefully until the placenta is delivered. I will have to push a little again to get it out but it's not like pushing the baby out. The water will get some blood in it but that's ok it doesn't mean it's dirty. We will get out after the placenta comes and the cord is cut.  I will be trying to nurse during this time, you can wait in the bedroom.

After I have breastfed, Melissa has checked the baby, measured and weighed, and Daddy has held him/her, Summer gets to hold the baby first, then Jacob, then Joshua.  No bugging or fighting. After everyone has had a turn and Melissa leaves I might need to take a nap with the baby. I'll let you know when you can come back up. Don't bug.

We appreciate your help and good behavior on this special day.

Midwife

I will call when I can't sit or lie through a wave. This will probably only be 2-3 hours into labor. With my history of relatively quick labors, I would appreciate it if you would come at this time.

I am going to try to wait until after you arrive to get in the tub. If I am not in the tub, you may check my cervix to see where I'm at. Either way, you may check my BP and the babys heart rate at this time.

All of my supplies will be in a rubbermaid tote with a hot pink lid in my bedroom which is upstairs through the kitchen.

I will be wearing a nursing sleep bra while in the tub. I want to be able to share my birth video with minimal editing and allow my boys in and out during my labor. I would like for Scott and I to be left alone for the most part with periodic visits from my mom and kids.

If my labor lasts longer than I anticipate and I want to get out of the tub for a while and move about my room/house or go for a walk, my bra and towels can be thrown in the dryer as long as I'm not in the bathroom.  You may also assess me again at this point if you feel it is necessary.

I do not want my membranes ruptured unless they are visibly bulging and I ask for them to be ruptured.

I do not want to be checked to see if i am fully dilated. I want to push when my body tells me to. I don't want any coaching during this stage. I will guide the babys head out and check for a cord. I will lift the baby gently to the surface and then to my chest.  Only take my BP or listen to the baby if pushing becomes prolonged. Please be aware of where the video camera is, as not to obscure it.

Given the water hasnt gotten too cool we will remain in the tub after the baby is born. I will initiate breastfeeding to facilitate the delivery of the placenta. I would like to wait for the placenta to be delivered before cutting the cord. I want to cut the cord myself. We can then get out of the tub.

Unless labor becomes prolonged I will not be sitting or lying, unless in the tub. All fours has not been a comfortable position for me in past labors. If I've been in same position for over an hour, simply suggest that change. I will find something else comfortable. Unless you feel the situation/position of the baby warrants something specific. I also have not found counter pressure comfortable in the past. Although I have never experience back labor. If you need anything, my daughter, Summer, or my mom, Lillie, can get it for you.

Use words like  wave or opening instead of contraction. Uncomfortable instead of pain. And intense or strong instead of hard.

I only want to be transferred to the hospital if I am hemorrhaging, having blood pressure issues that can not be controlled, or the baby is in distress. Not for a stalled or slow labor. If we do transfer I want to bring with us my supplies I already purchased and be sure the hospital uses them.

Transfer Birth Plan

Please be aware that I am transferring from a homebirth and be respectful of that.

We have brought the majority of our supplies with us.  These include:

15 23"x36" economy underpads
1    12 pack maternity pads
1    8 oz peri-bottle
1    newborn cap
1    sterile 3 oz. bulb syringe
2    sterile plastic cord clamps
1    scrub brush with povidone iodine
6    4x4 gauze sponges
1    disposable brief

I do not consent to a C-section unless the baby is in distress, or I have uncontrollable bleeding or blood pressure issues.

Labor

I do not want to be offered pain medication or an epidural unless for a c-section. I understand the baby and I will need continuous monitoring or I wouldn't be here. I would still like to be free to stand next to my bed to labor if I wish. I consent to an IV, but only want to be given fluids unless medically necessary and explained. My cervix can be checked upon arrival and later if either of us remain in distress. I do not want my membranes ruptured unless they are visibly bulging. I do not want to receive pitocin to augment my labor.

Birth

I do not wish to be put in stirrups. I will begin pushing when my body offers no other alternative, in whatever position feels right to me at the time. I would like to push spontaneously with no coaching. I will support my own perineum, guide the babys head out, and check for a cord. I will then finish delivering and bring my baby to my chest.

3rd Stage

The bed can be taken apart at this time for delivery of the placenta. Unless resuscitation is needed, I would like to wait to cut the cord when it stops pulsing or even after the placenta is delivered if possible. I would like to cut the cord myself.  We brought our own cord clamps. I will initiate breastfeeding at this time.  I do not want to be administered pitocin unless bleeding cannot be controlled with nursing and fundal stimulation from my baby.

All assessing that can be done in my arms should be. Please no suctioning with the exception of meconium being present.  After we have successfully nursed and bonded, you may take my baby to be weighed, measured and further assessed.  We will be using cloth diapers. I would like to delay eye ointment until this time as well, we brought our own. Please check list for other supplies brought with us. I would then like my baby immediately returned to me for rooming in. I would like to decline the hearing test and hospital photos. If the baby is a boy we will not be circumcising.  

If a c-section was needed do not give the baby a bottle and return him/her to me ASAP

Discharge

I would like to be discharged as soon as possible. I have already obtained a PKU test and it will be administered at home by my midwife.

Oh the Anticipation!!!!

I'm already getting anxious and I'm only 24 weeks!!!! No matter how many babies I have, it's still soooo exciting!!! Especially since I'm looking forward to a homebirth this time. I downloaded 3 different playlist from iTunes. One is for early labor. It has a couple of Allison Krause songs... One of which is mine and Scotts song... When You say Nothing at All and one called I Will. I also found a track of her singing Baby Mine, from the Dumbo movie. The others are from a group called Celtic Woman... They are very angelic. I found a track of them singing You'll be in my Heart, from Tarzan. That was Joshuas favorite movie when he was a toddler. We bought that movie on VHS three time because he kept wearing it out. I can't count the number of times he would curl up in my lap when that song was on. It still brings tears to my eyes. I want the early part of my labor to be an intimate time for me and Scott.

My birth playlist I chose for the time I'm in the tub has more of an earthy, tribal feel to it. Ironically, one of the albums I bought is called water birth. The artist calls herself a tunnel singer. She uses acoustics along with her voice to create beautiful music. There are no words though. This album was recorded at a place called the Cistern... Not Sistine... Chapel. It's a two-million-gallon underground, water tank--at Fort Worden, near Port Townsend in Washington state. http://www.tunnelsinger.com/ptstory.htm  Pretty cool stuff. I also got the soundtrack to a documentary called Orgasmic Birth. Again the tracks I chose have no word... Just music accompanied by womens voices. 

My third playlist is for after the baby is born. It's mostly instrumentals of classic lullabies and Disney songs. My favorites are from Fred Molin. He uses a lot of different instruments. I have a couple that are guitar only and Amazing Grace on piano. Lastly, I have Louis Armstrong singing It's a Wonderful World and Iz's version of Somewhere over the Rainbow.

I play my first list when Scott gives me massages. I practice relaxation and visualize myself in labor. I've never really used a breathing "technique"... Just deep breathing, whatever feels right and relaxes me at the time. I mostly just go inside myself during a wave. At this point it's not as much about escaping from any pain. I don't relate pain to childbirth. It's  relaxing to allow my body to open up so that I can meet by new baby.

Everytime I take a bath I listen to my birth music. At this time the waves will be more intense when I'm actually in labor. It's labor land time! When I think back on past labors the only way I describe it is, other worldly, completely in the zone. Nothing else exists at this time. The water let's me be at one with my baby. Each wave swells then recedes like the ocean. In between I am relaxed but I don't quite come back completely to this world like in early/active labor. Then the most anticipated moment arrives. In the past my bliss has always been interrupted. As soon as I felt the least bit of pressure I was forced out of my own internal womb, into the cold. Where I was put in the least comfortable position to be checked DURING a wave by a nurse, then confirmed by my dr and my membranes ruptured. This time I get to just continue listening to my body. There is no question when it's time to push nor is it a decision. The overwhelming urge is incredible. Women are conditioned to fear this moment but I welcome it. It's such a relief getting to actually DO something rather than simply letting it happen. Did you know that when you actually feel the baby come down and begin to stretch your perineum, it is THE biggest surge of oxytocin, the love hormone, you will ever be able to experience in your whole entire life. This same hormone is what gives breastfeeding mom such a relaxed, good feeling when they nurse, further increasing their bond. AND it's the hormone responsible for the big "O"! That's why women who give birth naturally report such a euphoric state afterwards. Endorphines also come into play here. Scoring the winning touchdown in the superbowl can't compare to the high a woman receives from natural childbirth. 

Wow... The rest of my post is going to seem boring after that... I may need to go take a cold shower! Lol

Anyway, where was I... Oh yeah... Playlists. I listen to my baby one at night when I winding down to go to sleep. I hold my phone close to my belly so she/he can hear too.  I picture holding and nursing my new baby in my own bed in those first precious moments while I'm still filled with all those wonderful hormones!

I can't wait!! I've already gotten most of the stuff I need for the birth. All the diapers, tee shirts, and blankets are washed. Since we don't know the sex of this baby yet, I got a pack of little girly hats and ordered some newborn bows from eBay... 12 for 1.89. The rest is unisex. Plain white tshirts. I went through Ronan and Raidens stuff and picked out all the yellow and green outfits.  I bought an in bed co-sleeper. I didn't buy anything new for the main floor nursery. I wanted to fix it up though. I took some extra stuff from Summers room and decorated it girly. It'll be easy to switch back if it ends up being a boy.  

 I don't know what I'm going to do for the next three months or so! I think after being SOOO sick for the first 20 weeks, it's just now really sinking in. I feel great, feeling the baby kick and squirm. Not so big that I'm uncomfortable, but big enough to be cute! I guess I need to just sit back and enjoy it. With my history of going early I plan to put myself on a modified bed rest from about 32-34 weeks until 37 weeks any way. It'll be good that I got prepared early. The next milestone to look forward to is the begin of my third trimester. It's going to be a LONG 4 weeks!

Adventures in Babywearing

Once again I am using excerpts from an old post... This one was on Myspace about a busy week I wanted to share... I left out some parts. I decided to leave in the part about Babymoon because it did lead to a sling purchase and I just loved the place. Mother Nurture also has played a roll in my life... It's more than just a shop. It's a support place. I learned more about homebirth, extended breastfeeding, and cloth diapering there too. I once stopped in there just to hang out with all my kids and nurse Ronan while waiting to get everybodies hair cut down the road!  I'm getting off tract aren't I? Oh yeah... Babywearing.... The start...

Monday I decided to buy a sling carrier because Ronan has hit that 6 week peak fussy time and I can't seem to get anything done! So I went online to buy a peanut shell from Target.com but thought I would try to find one locally so I didn't have to wait for it to be shipped... I found that I could get it at 2 shops in Lexington.  I got everybody ready...fed them....fed and changed Ronan.... then got out the door.  Unfortunately by the time I got to Lexington both shops had closed!  We went to Barnes and Noble and got some books so it wouldn't be a completely wasted trip then went home and put everybody to bed.

Tuesday while the big kids were at school me and Ronan went back to Lexington... we went to a little shop called Mother Nurture... they had all kinds of slings, wraps and carriers that you could try out before you bought.  I always thought that the wraps looked too complicated with all that fabric to be worth it... but after trying it on and seeing how cozy and secure Ronan was in it and how comfortable it was for me... I decided to buy a Mobywrap.

I noticed there was a place next door called Baby Moon... during my pregnancy I had come across this place online... they hold all kinds of classes for pregnant and postnatal moms... I would have liked to have done the prenatal yoga or belly dancing classes but I had the other three kids home during the summer while I was pregnant... I had forgotten all about the place until I saw it.  I When I got home I went online and took a look at their class schedule and decided I would try out ther mama and baby yoga class that they hold every Wednesday.

So Wednesday me and Ronan went to yoga... it was awesome.... there where probably 10 or 12 mommies and babies there ranging from six weeks to six months.... it wa so laid back... the instructor kept a slow pace and you just chimed in and out as your baby permitted... everybody was either participating in the yoga... nursing... bouncing their baby on an exercise ball.... or whatever they needed to.  The first part of the class the focus was more towards the moms and you just laid your baby in front of you... then we did a lttle baby yoga with some infant massage.. then the last part of the class integrated mommy and baby.  After class one of the moms stood up and said "Does anyone want to go to lunch".... I was like heck yeah!  About eight of us went to Peneras... we sat outside and ate and talked... it was wonderful.... real adult conversation... and there was no need to feel self conscious about BIP... there's strength in numbers!  One of the moms was using a New Native sling.. I decided as I ate with one hand, that it would be nice to have one of those for quick trips and unexpected times... so I stopped and got one on my way home. I can't wait until next week... I'm definitely going to sign up for more classes... I'll keep everybody posted!

Raiden

Friday we went on a walking field trip with Summer's class to the fire department and Dairy Queen... this is actually Ronan's 2nd field trip... we went to the pumkin patch when he was 3 weeks.  I decided to go ahead and take the stroller and throw the sling in the diaper bag... but I wish I had just put the Moby Wrap on before I left the house and just used it... having the stoller was a pain in the butt... thank goodness I did have the sling because if I hadn't I would have had to push the stroller one handed on the way from the station to Dairy Queen and then back to school.  I was able to nurse using the sling with no problem... although I did feel the need to support his head a little with my arm to keep him at the right level.

Yesterday we took the whole family to a pumkin patch in Georgetown... they have a play ground with huge slides, a castle made of hay, rat races, a big wheel figure eight, and a corn maze.  I used the Moby wrap this time... I think I could've nursed in it just fine but he had pooped so I was going to have to take him out anyway... since I had Scott with me I went to the car and nursed in the A/C... he was knocked out afterwards so I decided to lay him in his carseat/carrier and use the stroller.. I knew Scott could push it if I needed him to and I had the sling with me if I wanted to be able to just throw it on real quick.

I bought a Gypsy Mama water wrap for our Hawaii trip when Ronan was 7 months. I also made my own out of sarongs I bought.

I ended up using my wrap the most. I used it everytime we went to Walmart. The sling was good for quickies or nursing discretely. Like when we would go to the dr or a ball game or practice... When I didn't have to do a lot of standing or walking. When he was real little sometimes I would "wear him down" in it.  Meaning put him in it at home when he was fussy and walk around or do housework until he fell asleep.  Then with it, it is very easy to slip out of, leaving baby in, a lay him down without disturbing him.  As he got bigger the Moby was too stretchy to be comfortable for me and it's not supportive enough for back carries. I went back to Mother Nurture of course and got a Mei Tei.. It's an Asian style carrier.  

 

Then I got pregnant and needed something I could do a hip carry in that didn't tie across my waist. This time I got a ring sling. Unlike the pouch new native sling you can adjust the back support in it. I ended up using it the most with Raiden.  It does hurt my shoulder after a while though

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I've decided to get a Gypsy Mama Gauze wrap for this baby. They aren't as stretchy, are lighter weight for the summer, and can be bought in shorter lengths. I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos and they are quite versatile. Happy babywearing