This is my miscarriage story, but it starts many months before our baby passed away... I'm posting it as series in case someone just wants to read part.
Part 1 - Trying to Conceive
Part 2 - Pregnancy
Part 3 - The Decision- Natural or D&C
Part 4 - Limbo
Part 5 - The Process
Part 6 - The Burial and After (contains pictures of miscarried baby)
Part 2 - Pregnancy
We were elated. During my last 6 pregnancies, I had become progressively sicker, with
the exception of Jacob, who I was only nauseated for 3 weeks and never
threw up. With Sierra, I couldn't lift my head for months without
throwing up. My 1st symptom this time was that my digestion slowed to
nearly a stop. I was also extremely tired in the evenings.
In my mind I was already planning so much. What I needed, which wasn't much. What I didn't need, which was a lot. It's funny the more babies you have the less desire you have for stuff. I didn't want swings and bouncy seats... just to wear my baby close as much as possible. Summer wanted me to have twins so bad, because she knows I'm such a baby hog. My belly was growing so fast.
Sierra was excited to share her bed. She sleep in a crib that has the rail off and is side-carred to our bed. I was going to put the baby in a Moses basket, in her bed.
I wanted a Blessing Way for this baby. It much more intimate than a baby shower. Everyone brings a bead for the mom to make a necklace to wear during the birth, so she is surrounded by the women she is closest to. They make little flags to hang up in the labor room with prayers and words of encouragement. Everyone goes home with a candle to burn when the mom goes into labor and keep vigil and pray for her. No gifts, just fellowship and food.
an appointment with a midwife for November 11th at her Versailles
office. They asked if I wanted an early, dating ultrasound, because if I
did, I would need to go the Frankfort office. Since I was pretty sure I
knew when I conceived, I opted not to. There's research that suggest
it's best to expose preborn babies to no more ultrasounds than
necessary. I would have had a 20 week one, so if there were any
problems, we would be aware.
The only problems that I
experienced, other than an uneasy feeling because I didn't feel sick,
was that on a few occasions I had some very slight spotting. I also
experienced this with Jacob's pregnancy though. I ended up with a low
lying placenta with him. At my 20 week it was a partial placenta previa,
but moved up enough by my next ultrasound to have a vaginal birth. I did
end up with some bleeding during labor, but the delivery was so fast,
it wasn't a problem. I knew this would keep me from having a homebirth,
but would have rathered it been that.
The office ended up calling me
to reschedule my appointment. To get in on the day of the week I wanted
to I ended up having to go to the Frankfort office anyway. My new
appoint was Tuesday, November 17th. I would be around 10 weeks by my
estimation. I was in Louisville visiting my mom. Her, Summer and Sierra
came with me. I still couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't
It's funny the little ways the Lord prepares you. On the Friday
before, I was talking to a friend at co-op, and she told me about one of
her pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. She went in for her 10 week
visit and found out her baby didn't developed past 6. Then that evening,
I watched Marley and Me with some of the kids and when she goes in for
her 10 week, the baby doesn't have a heartbeat. I asked mom and the
girls to wait while I had a chance to meet the midwife by myself
first... since this was our first meeting.