Wednesday, November 25, 2015

My Miscarriage Story - Part 5

This is my miscarriage story, but it starts many months before our baby passed away... I'm posting it as series in case someone just wants to read part.

Part 1 - Trying to Conceive
Part 2 - Pregnancy
Part 3 - The Decision- Natural or D&C
Part 4 - Limbo
Part 5 - The Process
Part 6 - The Burial and After (contains pictures of miscarried baby)

Part 5 - The Process

Monday at about 3:30 I started cramping and spotting more steadily. After a while I got Scott to watch a movie with the kids while I spent some time alone, coming to terms with it soon being over. I decided go to bed and try to rest up at about 11. I woke up at 4:30 having inconsistent contractions, more than a Braxton Hicks, but still not too intense. I fell back to sleep after about and hour and woke back up at 7 with the same thing. I was suppose to go in for my ultrasound at 11:30. At 9 or so, I texted my midwife, told her what was going on and asked if she thought I should still come in. She asked if this was a labor pattern for me. I told her that by the time I know for sure I'm in labor, I progress pretty quick.

With Jacob through Raiden, by the time I got to the hospital it took less than 2 hours. Then with Sierra I had a 19 minute precipitous labor after 2 days of what just felt like pre labor. You see, I don't have typical labor and deliveries, so I really didn't expect my miscarriage to be typical either. I mean I was prepare for a lot of pain and a lot of blood, but I didn't think I would have either. I read other people having not horrific ones, but it's important to know that just like any other kind of birth... They run the gambit. No two, pregnancies, labors, births, or miscarriages are the same.

Because I was afraid of getting out and it hitting hard and fast, and since Frankfort is 45 minutes away, we decided it was best I stay home. I got up and started about my day... I started to think it was stalling, but I knew my body was ready. I took a dose of my tinctures to try to keep things going at about 10. We watched the movie that Scott had watched with the kids the evening before.

Just as the movie ended, at 11:30, I felt a little contraction, and a little pop. My water had broke. My baby wasn't going to be born in the caul(sac). I didn't tell anyone. I told Scott I was going to take a bath. I needed to be alone. I got in the tub and tried to relax and let it happen.. During the contractions I would bleed a little, but it would stop in between. I'm not sure how many I had, but they still weren't painful.

After an hour, I thought maybe I needed to get out of the water for them to get stronger. I started to drain the tub and dry my upper body. As I started to get up felt something coming out. I guess the contractions were more effective that I thought. I stopped the drain, sat back down and inspected what I passed. It was just a large clot, but as I was cleaning up the smaller ones from the water... I saw the tiny little body. I had a bowl with water in it, ready on the edge of the tub. I scooped him up and placed him in. I will be saying him, for lack of a better pronoun. I don't want to call my baby an it. In the pictures that I took, the baby appears to be a boy, but after researching, I found out that both sexes appear that way at this stage.

I got out of the tub and moved to the bed. This is where I had my strongest one or two contractions. Not as bad as transition labor, but probably about like the after pains I experienced with Summer when they gave me pitocin to help stop my bleeding. The placenta was the biggest part though, so that's probably why. It took about 35-40 more minutes. By 1:15 it was over. My bleeding afterwards was very minimal. The cramping was comparable to regular after pains, but this time I didn't have a baby in my arms to distract from it. One to nurse and release all those feel good hormones. Just my sadness.

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