This is my miscarriage story, but it starts many months before our baby passed away... I'm posting it as series in case someone just wants to read part.
Part 1 - Trying to Conceive
Part 2 - Pregnancy
Part 3 - The Decision- Natural or D&C
Part 4 - Limbo
Part 5 - The Process
Part 6 - The Burial and After (contains pictures of miscarried baby)
Part 1 Trying to Conceive
You can read about my struggles with fertility here. After Sierra was
born, once again, I thought I was done having babies. Then something
changed in my heart around January 2014. Sierra was potty trained and
weaned and I started to feel that deep yearning. Up until that point we
had been using natural family planning... and the occasional condom if
we really weren't sure. It's kind of hard when your cycles are as sporadic
as mine. You just learn to pay attention to your body. Not really
reliable as form of birth control... but we were always open to an
"oops".
Unfortunately when you have fertility issues what seemed
to work for not getting pregnant... doesn't necessarily work for getting
pregnant. Over a year went by and the next March my 38th birthday
rolled around and I started to feel desperate. One element of NFP that I
hadn't used before was charting my temperatures. I had thought about
doing it when I was trying to conceive Ronan, but ended up getting
pregnant before the start of my next cycle. I already had an account set
up on http://www.fertilityfriend.com/. My next cycle this time started on April
17th. I also bought some ovulation predictor tests. Your body gives you
some signs due do increased estrogen, so I could tell when to start
taking the tests even-though I'm irregular. The tests will confirm that
your body is gearing up by looking for a surge in hormones(LH), and when
your window has passed, but can't confirm that you ovulated. That is
where your temperature comes in. When using a sensitive thermometer, there is an
obvious rise in your basal body temperature after ovulation from an increase in progesterone from the corpus luteum(the ruptured cyst that the egg was released from). Combining these things helps
to get your timing right, but even then... you may not get pregnant.
That cycle was 48 days and the next 80 long days. It was so frustrating
because I knew that I was ovulating and timing it right. I had really
gotten my hopes up because 10 days after I had ovulated I had some
slight spotting and thought maybe it was a sign of implantation, but 3
days later I started.
It had been 4 months I decided I needed to
take a break from all the charting. I couldn't keep myself from paying
attention to the signals my body was giving me though. Again, about 10
days after I thought I had ovulated I had some spotting. I thought maybe
this was just a new pattern for me, but by the 4th day with no period, I
decided to take a pregnancy test.... it was positive!
I showed
Summer the positive test first, then Scott, then the rest of the kids. I
couldn't contain the good news. I messaged and called our family and
closest friends. Then took an adorable picture to announce on facebook
all on the 1st day we found out.
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