In my post My Journey to Attachment Parenting http://everevolvingeve.blogspot.com/2011/01/my-journey-to-attachment-parenting.html , I talked about how the sleeping arrangements are always changing at my house. This happens when everybody isn't getting the best sleep, we find what works better for this stage of that child development. When I left off we had just moved Ronan into Jacob old room. Sometimes he would sleep in there and other times he would end up in the big boys bed. The PS3 is in Ronans room and Joshua has started playing online with his friends. He gets to stay up until 10, an hour after Jacob and Summer. So a lot of times Jacob would get Ronan to come to bed with him. This would be fine except a) It would keep the boys from being able to make their bed in the morning or b) they would end up waking him up. So we decided to put an extra mattress in the floor in our bedroom. The other night he decided to get into our bed. I told Scott I didn't think it was a good idea because there wouldn't be room once the baby gets here. I was afraid it would become a habit and then he would resent the baby for kicking him out of mommy and daddys bed! Scott insisted it wouldn't be a problem. Ronan kicks a lot so Scott slept in the middle to "protect" me. I ended up with very little bed. This in itself was a problem for me being pregnant. I have to sleep on my side and I use my top knee like a kick stand to prop me up. I didn't have room to do this. Then I woke up with no covers and Ronan was laying on top of them so I couldn't just pull them back over! The next day I began to contemplate a solution. I decided it would be best if Scott slept in Ronans bed with him. He gets the security he's seeking. Then when the new baby gets here we will have plenty of room!
Tonight Ronan jumped up in the bed with me. I told him he needed to get in his bed with Daddy. He said, "but I love you!" I was like Awe! Go get your pillow and blankie! He ended up laying back down with Scott. I guess he just needed to know I would let him if he really wanted to.
I know some people wouldn't agree, but it works for us. With Joshua, he ended up in the back in the bed with us after his crib. At one point we had a full size bed and a twin bumped up together. Scott and Joshua on the big bed, me on the twin! We transitioned him back to his own space when he turned 5 no problem. Well, with Jacob!
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
How and Why we do it!
Psalms 127 3-5
3 Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
But Seriously, why so many? This question has burned me for months now. It came from someone with zero kids! Why is it that others feel to judge someone elses life choices. I don't care how many or few kids someone else has.
This is it, right? Again, why do you care... I don't ask for help from anyone, heck I turn down babysitting offers! Scott and I don't like waisting money on going out. We'd rather spend our weekends playing games and watching movies with our kids. We wouldn't keep having them if we didn't like spending time with them! A date once or twice a year is plenty and my mom can provide that.. She doesn't judge me.
We never really discussed how many kids we wanted. Like I wrote about previously.. Drs told me I would probably be infertile. They said I have Polycystic Ovaries, high LH levels and low FSH levels. Although I'm not overweight, nor do I have diabetes, therefore I don't fit the bill for PCOS. I could probably count the number of periods I've had in my whole life. We decided then I would quit taking birth control... I was 18. Two years later, I got pregnant. I did not enjoy pregnancy or the birth, thought one was enough.
Then I became a SAHM. Joshua was getting big, I got an itch. Just when we thought it wasn't going to... It happened again. Almost exactly two years after I gave birth to Joshua. Still no birth control. I discovered the joy of natural childbirth.
We didn't have time to even think about it before Summer came along. At first I thought I wanted another right away. Then I changed my mind. Said I was done. Got an IUD. That lasted about 3-4 months. Then I changed my mind again!
This time it took 4 years. I knew I wanted just one more. 15 months later I got my wish. Again during the pregnancy I said, This is it, I'm done! Shortly after the birth I began to change my mind again. A year later, yes ,I'm pregnant AGAIN.
So in answer to some of the questions (stole this off the Internet):
Yes, we know how it happens, and we enjoy it very much.
No, we are not Catholic or Amish.
If you think our hands are full, you should see our hearts!
So are we done? Today I say yes. The first half of this pregnancy was horrible. I don't think I can do it again. I've been trying to talk Scott into a vasectomy. He's chicken and doesn't want to. I'm NOT getting my tubes tied, nor will I use hormones to mess with my already messed up hormones. So as of right now, he's not touching me after this baby is born! I think he'll cave on the V. We have 8 chairs at our kitchen table and 8 seats in our van. When this baby starts kindergarden, Joshua will be starting college. I think we are complete!
But I couldn't imagine my life any other way. All seems right in our universe with God at it center. I don't feel overwhelmed. In fact, I was much more stressed when I only had three. We have a great routine, that runs smoothly.
Eventhough we aren't at the peak of our income. We are probably better off financially that ever because we are living inside our means. We've paid off all of our credit cards. We got rid of our satellite bill. We cut our cell bill by $60 a month. We dont have a land line. We started cloth diapering. We haven't used paper plates in over a year. We pay our kids for good grades, make them save some longterm, then throughout the year, if they want something, they have to pay for it out of a shortterm savings... Even a school dance! Like I said earlier, we don't go out waisting money. We budget. They get a certain amount for their birthdays and a certain amount for Christmas. They have plenty, they don't want for anything.
We don't do a lot of organized extra curricular activities. They like gymnastics and tumbling, so we have a trampoline, low bar, tumbling mats, and floor beam. Summer wanted to learn some ballet so she bought herself a tutu, some ballet shoes, and some instructional videos, she uses her gym bar. They have a guitar, keyboard, flutes, and harmonica. I went online and printed sheet music, with notes and guitar tabs. We learned a little together. They like to swim, so we've always had a pool. Except our 1st summer here. Once they can do school sponsored sports, if they want to join, that's fine. Joshua likes playing football on the playground but doesn't want to participate in organized games, that's fine too.
So in answer to the last question everyone has: That's how we do it! As far as why: because we want to and we can; because God let's us!
3 Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
But Seriously, why so many? This question has burned me for months now. It came from someone with zero kids! Why is it that others feel to judge someone elses life choices. I don't care how many or few kids someone else has.
This is it, right? Again, why do you care... I don't ask for help from anyone, heck I turn down babysitting offers! Scott and I don't like waisting money on going out. We'd rather spend our weekends playing games and watching movies with our kids. We wouldn't keep having them if we didn't like spending time with them! A date once or twice a year is plenty and my mom can provide that.. She doesn't judge me.
We never really discussed how many kids we wanted. Like I wrote about previously.. Drs told me I would probably be infertile. They said I have Polycystic Ovaries, high LH levels and low FSH levels. Although I'm not overweight, nor do I have diabetes, therefore I don't fit the bill for PCOS. I could probably count the number of periods I've had in my whole life. We decided then I would quit taking birth control... I was 18. Two years later, I got pregnant. I did not enjoy pregnancy or the birth, thought one was enough.
Then I became a SAHM. Joshua was getting big, I got an itch. Just when we thought it wasn't going to... It happened again. Almost exactly two years after I gave birth to Joshua. Still no birth control. I discovered the joy of natural childbirth.
We didn't have time to even think about it before Summer came along. At first I thought I wanted another right away. Then I changed my mind. Said I was done. Got an IUD. That lasted about 3-4 months. Then I changed my mind again!
This time it took 4 years. I knew I wanted just one more. 15 months later I got my wish. Again during the pregnancy I said, This is it, I'm done! Shortly after the birth I began to change my mind again. A year later, yes ,I'm pregnant AGAIN.
So in answer to some of the questions (stole this off the Internet):
Yes, we know how it happens, and we enjoy it very much.
No, we are not Catholic or Amish.
If you think our hands are full, you should see our hearts!
So are we done? Today I say yes. The first half of this pregnancy was horrible. I don't think I can do it again. I've been trying to talk Scott into a vasectomy. He's chicken and doesn't want to. I'm NOT getting my tubes tied, nor will I use hormones to mess with my already messed up hormones. So as of right now, he's not touching me after this baby is born! I think he'll cave on the V. We have 8 chairs at our kitchen table and 8 seats in our van. When this baby starts kindergarden, Joshua will be starting college. I think we are complete!
But I couldn't imagine my life any other way. All seems right in our universe with God at it center. I don't feel overwhelmed. In fact, I was much more stressed when I only had three. We have a great routine, that runs smoothly.
Eventhough we aren't at the peak of our income. We are probably better off financially that ever because we are living inside our means. We've paid off all of our credit cards. We got rid of our satellite bill. We cut our cell bill by $60 a month. We dont have a land line. We started cloth diapering. We haven't used paper plates in over a year. We pay our kids for good grades, make them save some longterm, then throughout the year, if they want something, they have to pay for it out of a shortterm savings... Even a school dance! Like I said earlier, we don't go out waisting money. We budget. They get a certain amount for their birthdays and a certain amount for Christmas. They have plenty, they don't want for anything.
We don't do a lot of organized extra curricular activities. They like gymnastics and tumbling, so we have a trampoline, low bar, tumbling mats, and floor beam. Summer wanted to learn some ballet so she bought herself a tutu, some ballet shoes, and some instructional videos, she uses her gym bar. They have a guitar, keyboard, flutes, and harmonica. I went online and printed sheet music, with notes and guitar tabs. We learned a little together. They like to swim, so we've always had a pool. Except our 1st summer here. Once they can do school sponsored sports, if they want to join, that's fine. Joshua likes playing football on the playground but doesn't want to participate in organized games, that's fine too.
So in answer to the last question everyone has: That's how we do it! As far as why: because we want to and we can; because God let's us!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Homebirth Birth Plan
I decided to write a birth plan for everyone that is going to be a part of the birth and in case of a transfer. I figured all my visualizations are useless unless everybody is on the same page. This will also minimize me having to make any decisions for that day and keep everyone from asking me questions. It will be especially beneficial for my kids and my mom. It will also be good in the event my midwife can't make it and a back up has to come.
Even though my plans sound VERY specific, I know through experience, everything won't go according to plan. But I also know how powerful faith and visualization is. So here it is:
Homebirth Plan
Scott-
Early labor (up to 5cm) 2-3 hrs
If you are at work when I go into labor, remind me to eat an orange, pick the kids up from school and come straight home. Make sure starting at 36 weeks, April 20, you get gas on the way to work.
Get plastic sheet(shower curtain) out of supply box(w/pink lid), put it on bed over gold fitted sheet. Put red fitted sheet out of supply box over plastic sheet. Remake bed. Fold down covers to foot of bed.
Clean tub with Scrubbing Bubbles(under sink). Make sure to rinse well and put rag in hamper hanging on laundry room door.
Plug in my iPhone on your side of bed. Turn on Labor Playlist. The iPod app is in the movies/tv folder. Be sure to press shuffle.
I'll probably be showering, getting pretty at this time. Video the clock briefly then a short clip of whatever I'm doing and everybody else. Feel free to talk to the camera but not direct to me. Take some still shots too.
We can then lay in bed and relax a bit before it gets intense. Eat a tictac and give me one. Rub my back/neck/belly... Like we have practiced. You can use the remote for the still camera to take some pics.
If/when I find the bed uncomfortable, I will move to the rocking chair. Make sure i have plenty of pillows. You can rub my feet then... With the lotion on the table next to the chair. Video/pics update.
Active Labor (5-7/8cm) 1-2hrs
When that playlist is over we should call the midwife(melissa) and go for a walk. Video the clock and give an update before we go. Remind me to pee and take a water. Summer can come with us and take some pics with my phone along the way. We'll just walk the back road a time or two. If it is nighttime, I will make the birthday cup cakes during this time.
By the time we get back I'll probably be ready to get in the tub. If Melissa is there have Summer run the bath. Make the water pretty hot, it'll cool down before the baby gets here. Video the clock and update. Video/take pics of Melissa taking my BP, listening to the baby, and setting up.
Transition/Birth (7/8cm to Baby) 1hr
Put my phone on the edge of the tub, turn on the Birth Playlist with shuffle. Light the candles on the back of the tub. Make sure a towel is hung by the shower and it goes to the wall. If more light is needed, turn on light in laundry room Video the clock and update. Set up cameras in the bathroom. Make sure you take lots of pictures. Check how much video time we have left frequently. If it gets close to five minutes, flip the disk or change it. Extras are in the front zipper of the camera bag. Keep it plugged in for the most part. While I'm in the tub keep me cool with cool rags, a hand held fan, and juice pops that Summer will provide. You can play on your phone some, no sound, no headphones.
Hopefully by the time the playlist is over we will have a baby. If not, suggest I stand for a bit and use the bathroom. Restart playlist. Video clock, update and take still shots.
When I say it's time to push make sure you are videoing. Ask if you have time to put in a new disk.
After the birth turn on the Baby Playlist. Video and take lots of pics! Then set everything back up in the bedroom.
During Labor you can kiss me as much as you want as long as you have a tictac, offer them to me too. No coffee until after the birth. While I'm standing you can offer for me to lean on you through a wave, make sure if I have my arms on your shoulders you lean down a bit so I'm not on my tip toes. Massage me between waves only, do not pet my head at anytime. You can brush my hair with a hair brush. Say wave or opening instead of contraction. Uncomfortable instead of pain. And intense or strong instead of hard.
Summer
When mommy goes in labor put fruit, granola bars, nuts, crackers, and any other snack in a basket. Put waters in the little cooler by the shoe cube and put ice in. Bring both upstairs. One of your jobs will be to ask daddy,the midwife(Melissa), and her assistant(either Candace or Shanty) if they need anything and get it for them if they do.
After you've gotten snacks upstairs and Daddy and I are ready, we want to rest in private for about an hour. Then if it's light outside we will go for a walk. Take my phone and take pictures along the way. We don't need to be looking at you or the camera. Take some from behind us, some in front. Some while walking, some during waves when we stop.
If it's nighttime, we will make birthday cup cakes during this time.
You can stay upstairs if you want after Melissa gets here. If it's light out this is when Granny will make the cup cakes. You can chose which you want to do or go back and forth.
Once I get in the tub it will be extra quiet time. Make sure to whisper, ask Daddy every now and then if I need a juice pop. You can come in the bathroom or hang out in my room quietly. Don't ask how long it's going to be, only God knows. Don't ask if it hurts, we have talked about this, it can get very uncomfortable, that's why I need to focus on relaxing and opening up so the baby can come out. If I moan or make noises it doesn't mean I'm not ok, that helps me open up too. I might get sick when it gets close to time, thats normal. Sometimes, while pushing the baby out poop gets in the water, Melissa will scoop it out with a net if that happens. Be aware of where the video camera is, don't get in front of it.
After the baby is born we will wait for a while before cutting the cord, hopefully until the placenta is delivered. I will have to push a little again to get it out but it's not like pushing the baby out. The water will get some blood in it but that's ok it doesn't mean it's dirty. We will get out after the placenta comes and the cord is cut.
After I have breastfed, Melissa has checked the baby, measured and weighed, and Daddy has held him/her, you can. No bugging or fighting. You and Granny can then go make me something to eat. After everyone has had a turn and Melissa leaves I might need to take a nap with the baby. I'll let you know when you can come back up. Don't bug.
The 1st morning after the baby is born, you and Granny can bring me breakfast in bed, scrambled eggs, peaches, grits, and bacon with coffee and OJ.
I love you! You are such a big helper!!!
Granny
When I go into labor you can help Summer with her prep list. If Scott is home he will prepare upstairs. If not here is the list...
Get plastic sheet(shower curtain) out of supply box(w/pink lid), put it on bed over gold fitted sheet. Put red fitted sheet out of supply box over plastic sheet. Remake bed. Fold down covers to foot of bed.
Clean tub with Scrubbing Bubbles(under sink). Make sure to rinse well and put rag in hamper hanging on laundry room door.
Scott and I want about an hour of private time in the beginning.
If it's light out, you will make the cup cakes when we get back from our walk in case Summer wants to help.
If it's dark I'll help make them with you guys.
Once I'm in the tub you and the boys are welcome to come upstairs and hang out in the bedroom as long as they are being good. Just send the big boys downstairs by themselves if you want. If they are occupied downstairs Ronan can stay down with them or even by himself. A brief visit in the bathroom to to see what's going on is fine. For the big boys make sure I'm sitting up in tub, not reclined or standing. As long as Ronan and Raiden aren't throwing fits they can come in and out as they please. If they get too out of hand even downstairs, take them outside. I'll have Summer yell for you when it's time. Be aware of where the video camera is.
Raiden naps at 1:00 and goes to bed at 8:00. If I'm in labor, put him down in the main floor nursery. Ronan doesn't nap and can crash wherever. Don't worry about making the kids go to bed. They can miss school the next day. They can eat when and what they want, just make sure they pick up after themselves. We won't worry about chores that day either.
Read Summers plan for more info on the actual birth, the big boys will need to stay in the bedroom. If the water is murky enough they can come in directly after, but they will need to go again while I initiate breastfeeding.
After everyone has held him/her, you and Summer can go make me something to eat. A turkey sandwich with cheese and mayo, a pickle, and an oriental salad would be good.
The first night after the birth I'd like you to sleep in our room so you can take a holding/rocking shift if need be.
Thank you sooo much for all your help!
Joshua and Jacob
There will be no school or chores on delivery day. You can eat when you want, what you want as long as you pick up after yourselves. You can help make cup cakes but you can't eat them until after the birth. You are not to ask Mommy or Daddy for anything or to settle any disputes, direct everything to Granny. You may go on our walk with us as long as you are good. If you are not you will be sent directly back to the house. Summer will be in charge of taking pictures with my phone. If you want to take pictures Jacob can bring your DS, or your camera. Joshua can bring your DS, or Daddys phone.
You can come upstairs once I'm in the tub but you have to be super quiet. Whisper in my room. If you want to come in the bathroom to see what's going on, ask granny to check to see if I'm covered. No talking in the bathroom. If you act up you will be sent downstairs. Help granny with Ronan. If he need a game or something to eat, Joshua needs to do it. If he needs a show or milk, Jacob needs to do it. Be aware of where the video camera is, don't get in front of it.
Don't ask how long it's going to be, only God knows. Don't ask if it hurts, we have talked about this, it can get very uncomfortable, that's why I need to focus on relaxing and opening up so the baby can come out. If I moan or make noises it doesn't mean I'm not ok, that helps me open up too. When it's time for the baby to actually be born, you need to wait in the bedroom.
After the baby is born we will wait for a while before cutting the cord, hopefully until the placenta is delivered. I will have to push a little again to get it out but it's not like pushing the baby out. The water will get some blood in it but that's ok it doesn't mean it's dirty. We will get out after the placenta comes and the cord is cut. I will be trying to nurse during this time, you can wait in the bedroom.
After I have breastfed, Melissa has checked the baby, measured and weighed, and Daddy has held him/her, Summer gets to hold the baby first, then Jacob, then Joshua. No bugging or fighting. After everyone has had a turn and Melissa leaves I might need to take a nap with the baby. I'll let you know when you can come back up. Don't bug.
We appreciate your help and good behavior on this special day.
Midwife
I will call when I can't sit or lie through a wave. This will probably only be 2-3 hours into labor. With my history of relatively quick labors, I would appreciate it if you would come at this time.
I am going to try to wait until after you arrive to get in the tub. If I am not in the tub, you may check my cervix to see where I'm at. Either way, you may check my BP and the babys heart rate at this time.
All of my supplies will be in a rubbermaid tote with a hot pink lid in my bedroom which is upstairs through the kitchen.
I will be wearing a nursing sleep bra while in the tub. I want to be able to share my birth video with minimal editing and allow my boys in and out during my labor. I would like for Scott and I to be left alone for the most part with periodic visits from my mom and kids.
If my labor lasts longer than I anticipate and I want to get out of the tub for a while and move about my room/house or go for a walk, my bra and towels can be thrown in the dryer as long as I'm not in the bathroom. You may also assess me again at this point if you feel it is necessary.
I do not want my membranes ruptured unless they are visibly bulging and I ask for them to be ruptured.
I do not want to be checked to see if i am fully dilated. I want to push when my body tells me to. I don't want any coaching during this stage. I will guide the babys head out and check for a cord. I will lift the baby gently to the surface and then to my chest. Only take my BP or listen to the baby if pushing becomes prolonged. Please be aware of where the video camera is, as not to obscure it.
Given the water hasnt gotten too cool we will remain in the tub after the baby is born. I will initiate breastfeeding to facilitate the delivery of the placenta. I would like to wait for the placenta to be delivered before cutting the cord. I want to cut the cord myself. We can then get out of the tub.
Unless labor becomes prolonged I will not be sitting or lying, unless in the tub. All fours has not been a comfortable position for me in past labors. If I've been in same position for over an hour, simply suggest that change. I will find something else comfortable. Unless you feel the situation/position of the baby warrants something specific. I also have not found counter pressure comfortable in the past. Although I have never experience back labor. If you need anything, my daughter, Summer, or my mom, Lillie, can get it for you.
Use words like wave or opening instead of contraction. Uncomfortable instead of pain. And intense or strong instead of hard.
I only want to be transferred to the hospital if I am hemorrhaging, having blood pressure issues that can not be controlled, or the baby is in distress. Not for a stalled or slow labor. If we do transfer I want to bring with us my supplies I already purchased and be sure the hospital uses them.
Transfer Birth Plan
Please be aware that I am transferring from a homebirth and be respectful of that.
We have brought the majority of our supplies with us. These include:
15 23"x36" economy underpads
1 12 pack maternity pads
1 8 oz peri-bottle
1 newborn cap
1 sterile 3 oz. bulb syringe
2 sterile plastic cord clamps
1 scrub brush with povidone iodine
6 4x4 gauze sponges
1 disposable brief
I do not consent to a C-section unless the baby is in distress, or I have uncontrollable bleeding or blood pressure issues.
Labor
I do not want to be offered pain medication or an epidural unless for a c-section. I understand the baby and I will need continuous monitoring or I wouldn't be here. I would still like to be free to stand next to my bed to labor if I wish. I consent to an IV, but only want to be given fluids unless medically necessary and explained. My cervix can be checked upon arrival and later if either of us remain in distress. I do not want my membranes ruptured unless they are visibly bulging. I do not want to receive pitocin to augment my labor.
Birth
I do not wish to be put in stirrups. I will begin pushing when my body offers no other alternative, in whatever position feels right to me at the time. I would like to push spontaneously with no coaching. I will support my own perineum, guide the babys head out, and check for a cord. I will then finish delivering and bring my baby to my chest.
3rd Stage
The bed can be taken apart at this time for delivery of the placenta. Unless resuscitation is needed, I would like to wait to cut the cord when it stops pulsing or even after the placenta is delivered if possible. I would like to cut the cord myself. We brought our own cord clamps. I will initiate breastfeeding at this time. I do not want to be administered pitocin unless bleeding cannot be controlled with nursing and fundal stimulation from my baby.
All assessing that can be done in my arms should be. Please no suctioning with the exception of meconium being present. After we have successfully nursed and bonded, you may take my baby to be weighed, measured and further assessed. We will be using cloth diapers. I would like to delay eye ointment until this time as well, we brought our own. Please check list for other supplies brought with us. I would then like my baby immediately returned to me for rooming in. I would like to decline the hearing test and hospital photos. If the baby is a boy we will not be circumcising.
If a c-section was needed do not give the baby a bottle and return him/her to me ASAP
Discharge
I would like to be discharged as soon as possible. I have already obtained a PKU test and it will be administered at home by my midwife.
Even though my plans sound VERY specific, I know through experience, everything won't go according to plan. But I also know how powerful faith and visualization is. So here it is:
Homebirth Plan
Scott-
Early labor (up to 5cm) 2-3 hrs
If you are at work when I go into labor, remind me to eat an orange, pick the kids up from school and come straight home. Make sure starting at 36 weeks, April 20, you get gas on the way to work.
Get plastic sheet(shower curtain) out of supply box(w/pink lid), put it on bed over gold fitted sheet. Put red fitted sheet out of supply box over plastic sheet. Remake bed. Fold down covers to foot of bed.
Clean tub with Scrubbing Bubbles(under sink). Make sure to rinse well and put rag in hamper hanging on laundry room door.
Plug in my iPhone on your side of bed. Turn on Labor Playlist. The iPod app is in the movies/tv folder. Be sure to press shuffle.
I'll probably be showering, getting pretty at this time. Video the clock briefly then a short clip of whatever I'm doing and everybody else. Feel free to talk to the camera but not direct to me. Take some still shots too.
We can then lay in bed and relax a bit before it gets intense. Eat a tictac and give me one. Rub my back/neck/belly... Like we have practiced. You can use the remote for the still camera to take some pics.
If/when I find the bed uncomfortable, I will move to the rocking chair. Make sure i have plenty of pillows. You can rub my feet then... With the lotion on the table next to the chair. Video/pics update.
Active Labor (5-7/8cm) 1-2hrs
When that playlist is over we should call the midwife(melissa) and go for a walk. Video the clock and give an update before we go. Remind me to pee and take a water. Summer can come with us and take some pics with my phone along the way. We'll just walk the back road a time or two. If it is nighttime, I will make the birthday cup cakes during this time.
By the time we get back I'll probably be ready to get in the tub. If Melissa is there have Summer run the bath. Make the water pretty hot, it'll cool down before the baby gets here. Video the clock and update. Video/take pics of Melissa taking my BP, listening to the baby, and setting up.
Transition/Birth (7/8cm to Baby) 1hr
Put my phone on the edge of the tub, turn on the Birth Playlist with shuffle. Light the candles on the back of the tub. Make sure a towel is hung by the shower and it goes to the wall. If more light is needed, turn on light in laundry room Video the clock and update. Set up cameras in the bathroom. Make sure you take lots of pictures. Check how much video time we have left frequently. If it gets close to five minutes, flip the disk or change it. Extras are in the front zipper of the camera bag. Keep it plugged in for the most part. While I'm in the tub keep me cool with cool rags, a hand held fan, and juice pops that Summer will provide. You can play on your phone some, no sound, no headphones.
Hopefully by the time the playlist is over we will have a baby. If not, suggest I stand for a bit and use the bathroom. Restart playlist. Video clock, update and take still shots.
When I say it's time to push make sure you are videoing. Ask if you have time to put in a new disk.
After the birth turn on the Baby Playlist. Video and take lots of pics! Then set everything back up in the bedroom.
During Labor you can kiss me as much as you want as long as you have a tictac, offer them to me too. No coffee until after the birth. While I'm standing you can offer for me to lean on you through a wave, make sure if I have my arms on your shoulders you lean down a bit so I'm not on my tip toes. Massage me between waves only, do not pet my head at anytime. You can brush my hair with a hair brush. Say wave or opening instead of contraction. Uncomfortable instead of pain. And intense or strong instead of hard.
Summer
When mommy goes in labor put fruit, granola bars, nuts, crackers, and any other snack in a basket. Put waters in the little cooler by the shoe cube and put ice in. Bring both upstairs. One of your jobs will be to ask daddy,the midwife(Melissa), and her assistant(either Candace or Shanty) if they need anything and get it for them if they do.
After you've gotten snacks upstairs and Daddy and I are ready, we want to rest in private for about an hour. Then if it's light outside we will go for a walk. Take my phone and take pictures along the way. We don't need to be looking at you or the camera. Take some from behind us, some in front. Some while walking, some during waves when we stop.
If it's nighttime, we will make birthday cup cakes during this time.
You can stay upstairs if you want after Melissa gets here. If it's light out this is when Granny will make the cup cakes. You can chose which you want to do or go back and forth.
Once I get in the tub it will be extra quiet time. Make sure to whisper, ask Daddy every now and then if I need a juice pop. You can come in the bathroom or hang out in my room quietly. Don't ask how long it's going to be, only God knows. Don't ask if it hurts, we have talked about this, it can get very uncomfortable, that's why I need to focus on relaxing and opening up so the baby can come out. If I moan or make noises it doesn't mean I'm not ok, that helps me open up too. I might get sick when it gets close to time, thats normal. Sometimes, while pushing the baby out poop gets in the water, Melissa will scoop it out with a net if that happens. Be aware of where the video camera is, don't get in front of it.
After the baby is born we will wait for a while before cutting the cord, hopefully until the placenta is delivered. I will have to push a little again to get it out but it's not like pushing the baby out. The water will get some blood in it but that's ok it doesn't mean it's dirty. We will get out after the placenta comes and the cord is cut.
After I have breastfed, Melissa has checked the baby, measured and weighed, and Daddy has held him/her, you can. No bugging or fighting. You and Granny can then go make me something to eat. After everyone has had a turn and Melissa leaves I might need to take a nap with the baby. I'll let you know when you can come back up. Don't bug.
The 1st morning after the baby is born, you and Granny can bring me breakfast in bed, scrambled eggs, peaches, grits, and bacon with coffee and OJ.
I love you! You are such a big helper!!!
Granny
When I go into labor you can help Summer with her prep list. If Scott is home he will prepare upstairs. If not here is the list...
Get plastic sheet(shower curtain) out of supply box(w/pink lid), put it on bed over gold fitted sheet. Put red fitted sheet out of supply box over plastic sheet. Remake bed. Fold down covers to foot of bed.
Clean tub with Scrubbing Bubbles(under sink). Make sure to rinse well and put rag in hamper hanging on laundry room door.
Scott and I want about an hour of private time in the beginning.
If it's light out, you will make the cup cakes when we get back from our walk in case Summer wants to help.
If it's dark I'll help make them with you guys.
Once I'm in the tub you and the boys are welcome to come upstairs and hang out in the bedroom as long as they are being good. Just send the big boys downstairs by themselves if you want. If they are occupied downstairs Ronan can stay down with them or even by himself. A brief visit in the bathroom to to see what's going on is fine. For the big boys make sure I'm sitting up in tub, not reclined or standing. As long as Ronan and Raiden aren't throwing fits they can come in and out as they please. If they get too out of hand even downstairs, take them outside. I'll have Summer yell for you when it's time. Be aware of where the video camera is.
Raiden naps at 1:00 and goes to bed at 8:00. If I'm in labor, put him down in the main floor nursery. Ronan doesn't nap and can crash wherever. Don't worry about making the kids go to bed. They can miss school the next day. They can eat when and what they want, just make sure they pick up after themselves. We won't worry about chores that day either.
Read Summers plan for more info on the actual birth, the big boys will need to stay in the bedroom. If the water is murky enough they can come in directly after, but they will need to go again while I initiate breastfeeding.
After everyone has held him/her, you and Summer can go make me something to eat. A turkey sandwich with cheese and mayo, a pickle, and an oriental salad would be good.
The first night after the birth I'd like you to sleep in our room so you can take a holding/rocking shift if need be.
Thank you sooo much for all your help!
Joshua and Jacob
There will be no school or chores on delivery day. You can eat when you want, what you want as long as you pick up after yourselves. You can help make cup cakes but you can't eat them until after the birth. You are not to ask Mommy or Daddy for anything or to settle any disputes, direct everything to Granny. You may go on our walk with us as long as you are good. If you are not you will be sent directly back to the house. Summer will be in charge of taking pictures with my phone. If you want to take pictures Jacob can bring your DS, or your camera. Joshua can bring your DS, or Daddys phone.
You can come upstairs once I'm in the tub but you have to be super quiet. Whisper in my room. If you want to come in the bathroom to see what's going on, ask granny to check to see if I'm covered. No talking in the bathroom. If you act up you will be sent downstairs. Help granny with Ronan. If he need a game or something to eat, Joshua needs to do it. If he needs a show or milk, Jacob needs to do it. Be aware of where the video camera is, don't get in front of it.
Don't ask how long it's going to be, only God knows. Don't ask if it hurts, we have talked about this, it can get very uncomfortable, that's why I need to focus on relaxing and opening up so the baby can come out. If I moan or make noises it doesn't mean I'm not ok, that helps me open up too. When it's time for the baby to actually be born, you need to wait in the bedroom.
After the baby is born we will wait for a while before cutting the cord, hopefully until the placenta is delivered. I will have to push a little again to get it out but it's not like pushing the baby out. The water will get some blood in it but that's ok it doesn't mean it's dirty. We will get out after the placenta comes and the cord is cut. I will be trying to nurse during this time, you can wait in the bedroom.
After I have breastfed, Melissa has checked the baby, measured and weighed, and Daddy has held him/her, Summer gets to hold the baby first, then Jacob, then Joshua. No bugging or fighting. After everyone has had a turn and Melissa leaves I might need to take a nap with the baby. I'll let you know when you can come back up. Don't bug.
We appreciate your help and good behavior on this special day.
Midwife
I will call when I can't sit or lie through a wave. This will probably only be 2-3 hours into labor. With my history of relatively quick labors, I would appreciate it if you would come at this time.
I am going to try to wait until after you arrive to get in the tub. If I am not in the tub, you may check my cervix to see where I'm at. Either way, you may check my BP and the babys heart rate at this time.
All of my supplies will be in a rubbermaid tote with a hot pink lid in my bedroom which is upstairs through the kitchen.
I will be wearing a nursing sleep bra while in the tub. I want to be able to share my birth video with minimal editing and allow my boys in and out during my labor. I would like for Scott and I to be left alone for the most part with periodic visits from my mom and kids.
If my labor lasts longer than I anticipate and I want to get out of the tub for a while and move about my room/house or go for a walk, my bra and towels can be thrown in the dryer as long as I'm not in the bathroom. You may also assess me again at this point if you feel it is necessary.
I do not want my membranes ruptured unless they are visibly bulging and I ask for them to be ruptured.
I do not want to be checked to see if i am fully dilated. I want to push when my body tells me to. I don't want any coaching during this stage. I will guide the babys head out and check for a cord. I will lift the baby gently to the surface and then to my chest. Only take my BP or listen to the baby if pushing becomes prolonged. Please be aware of where the video camera is, as not to obscure it.
Given the water hasnt gotten too cool we will remain in the tub after the baby is born. I will initiate breastfeeding to facilitate the delivery of the placenta. I would like to wait for the placenta to be delivered before cutting the cord. I want to cut the cord myself. We can then get out of the tub.
Unless labor becomes prolonged I will not be sitting or lying, unless in the tub. All fours has not been a comfortable position for me in past labors. If I've been in same position for over an hour, simply suggest that change. I will find something else comfortable. Unless you feel the situation/position of the baby warrants something specific. I also have not found counter pressure comfortable in the past. Although I have never experience back labor. If you need anything, my daughter, Summer, or my mom, Lillie, can get it for you.
Use words like wave or opening instead of contraction. Uncomfortable instead of pain. And intense or strong instead of hard.
I only want to be transferred to the hospital if I am hemorrhaging, having blood pressure issues that can not be controlled, or the baby is in distress. Not for a stalled or slow labor. If we do transfer I want to bring with us my supplies I already purchased and be sure the hospital uses them.
Transfer Birth Plan
Please be aware that I am transferring from a homebirth and be respectful of that.
We have brought the majority of our supplies with us. These include:
15 23"x36" economy underpads
1 12 pack maternity pads
1 8 oz peri-bottle
1 newborn cap
1 sterile 3 oz. bulb syringe
2 sterile plastic cord clamps
1 scrub brush with povidone iodine
6 4x4 gauze sponges
1 disposable brief
I do not consent to a C-section unless the baby is in distress, or I have uncontrollable bleeding or blood pressure issues.
Labor
I do not want to be offered pain medication or an epidural unless for a c-section. I understand the baby and I will need continuous monitoring or I wouldn't be here. I would still like to be free to stand next to my bed to labor if I wish. I consent to an IV, but only want to be given fluids unless medically necessary and explained. My cervix can be checked upon arrival and later if either of us remain in distress. I do not want my membranes ruptured unless they are visibly bulging. I do not want to receive pitocin to augment my labor.
Birth
I do not wish to be put in stirrups. I will begin pushing when my body offers no other alternative, in whatever position feels right to me at the time. I would like to push spontaneously with no coaching. I will support my own perineum, guide the babys head out, and check for a cord. I will then finish delivering and bring my baby to my chest.
3rd Stage
The bed can be taken apart at this time for delivery of the placenta. Unless resuscitation is needed, I would like to wait to cut the cord when it stops pulsing or even after the placenta is delivered if possible. I would like to cut the cord myself. We brought our own cord clamps. I will initiate breastfeeding at this time. I do not want to be administered pitocin unless bleeding cannot be controlled with nursing and fundal stimulation from my baby.
All assessing that can be done in my arms should be. Please no suctioning with the exception of meconium being present. After we have successfully nursed and bonded, you may take my baby to be weighed, measured and further assessed. We will be using cloth diapers. I would like to delay eye ointment until this time as well, we brought our own. Please check list for other supplies brought with us. I would then like my baby immediately returned to me for rooming in. I would like to decline the hearing test and hospital photos. If the baby is a boy we will not be circumcising.
If a c-section was needed do not give the baby a bottle and return him/her to me ASAP
Discharge
I would like to be discharged as soon as possible. I have already obtained a PKU test and it will be administered at home by my midwife.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Oh the Anticipation!!!!
I'm already getting anxious and I'm only 24 weeks!!!! No matter how many babies I have, it's still soooo exciting!!! Especially since I'm looking forward to a homebirth this time. I downloaded 3 different playlist from iTunes. One is for early labor. It has a couple of Allison Krause songs... One of which is mine and Scotts song... When You say Nothing at All and one called I Will. I also found a track of her singing Baby Mine, from the Dumbo movie. The others are from a group called Celtic Woman... They are very angelic. I found a track of them singing You'll be in my Heart, from Tarzan. That was Joshuas favorite movie when he was a toddler. We bought that movie on VHS three time because he kept wearing it out. I can't count the number of times he would curl up in my lap when that song was on. It still brings tears to my eyes. I want the early part of my labor to be an intimate time for me and Scott.
My birth playlist I chose for the time I'm in the tub has more of an earthy, tribal feel to it. Ironically, one of the albums I bought is called water birth. The artist calls herself a tunnel singer. She uses acoustics along with her voice to create beautiful music. There are no words though. This album was recorded at a place called the Cistern... Not Sistine... Chapel. It's a two-million-gallon underground, water tank--at Fort Worden, near Port Townsend in Washington state. http://www.tunnelsinger.com/ptstory.htm Pretty cool stuff. I also got the soundtrack to a documentary called Orgasmic Birth. Again the tracks I chose have no word... Just music accompanied by womens voices.
My third playlist is for after the baby is born. It's mostly instrumentals of classic lullabies and Disney songs. My favorites are from Fred Molin. He uses a lot of different instruments. I have a couple that are guitar only and Amazing Grace on piano. Lastly, I have Louis Armstrong singing It's a Wonderful World and Iz's version of Somewhere over the Rainbow.
I play my first list when Scott gives me massages. I practice relaxation and visualize myself in labor. I've never really used a breathing "technique"... Just deep breathing, whatever feels right and relaxes me at the time. I mostly just go inside myself during a wave. At this point it's not as much about escaping from any pain. I don't relate pain to childbirth. It's relaxing to allow my body to open up so that I can meet by new baby.
Everytime I take a bath I listen to my birth music. At this time the waves will be more intense when I'm actually in labor. It's labor land time! When I think back on past labors the only way I describe it is, other worldly, completely in the zone. Nothing else exists at this time. The water let's me be at one with my baby. Each wave swells then recedes like the ocean. In between I am relaxed but I don't quite come back completely to this world like in early/active labor. Then the most anticipated moment arrives. In the past my bliss has always been interrupted. As soon as I felt the least bit of pressure I was forced out of my own internal womb, into the cold. Where I was put in the least comfortable position to be checked DURING a wave by a nurse, then confirmed by my dr and my membranes ruptured. This time I get to just continue listening to my body. There is no question when it's time to push nor is it a decision. The overwhelming urge is incredible. Women are conditioned to fear this moment but I welcome it. It's such a relief getting to actually DO something rather than simply letting it happen. Did you know that when you actually feel the baby come down and begin to stretch your perineum, it is THE biggest surge of oxytocin, the love hormone, you will ever be able to experience in your whole entire life. This same hormone is what gives breastfeeding mom such a relaxed, good feeling when they nurse, further increasing their bond. AND it's the hormone responsible for the big "O"! That's why women who give birth naturally report such a euphoric state afterwards. Endorphines also come into play here. Scoring the winning touchdown in the superbowl can't compare to the high a woman receives from natural childbirth.
Wow... The rest of my post is going to seem boring after that... I may need to go take a cold shower! Lol
Anyway, where was I... Oh yeah... Playlists. I listen to my baby one at night when I winding down to go to sleep. I hold my phone close to my belly so she/he can hear too. I picture holding and nursing my new baby in my own bed in those first precious moments while I'm still filled with all those wonderful hormones!
I can't wait!! I've already gotten most of the stuff I need for the birth. All the diapers, tee shirts, and blankets are washed. Since we don't know the sex of this baby yet, I got a pack of little girly hats and ordered some newborn bows from eBay... 12 for 1.89. The rest is unisex. Plain white tshirts. I went through Ronan and Raidens stuff and picked out all the yellow and green outfits. I bought an in bed co-sleeper. I didn't buy anything new for the main floor nursery. I wanted to fix it up though. I took some extra stuff from Summers room and decorated it girly. It'll be easy to switch back if it ends up being a boy. 
I don't know what I'm going to do for the next three months or so! I think after being SOOO sick for the first 20 weeks, it's just now really sinking in. I feel great, feeling the baby kick and squirm. Not so big that I'm uncomfortable, but big enough to be cute! I guess I need to just sit back and enjoy it. With my history of going early I plan to put myself on a modified bed rest from about 32-34 weeks until 37 weeks any way. It'll be good that I got prepared early. The next milestone to look forward to is the begin of my third trimester. It's going to be a LONG 4 weeks!
My birth playlist I chose for the time I'm in the tub has more of an earthy, tribal feel to it. Ironically, one of the albums I bought is called water birth. The artist calls herself a tunnel singer. She uses acoustics along with her voice to create beautiful music. There are no words though. This album was recorded at a place called the Cistern... Not Sistine... Chapel. It's a two-million-gallon underground, water tank--at Fort Worden, near Port Townsend in Washington state. http://www.tunnelsinger.com/ptstory.htm Pretty cool stuff. I also got the soundtrack to a documentary called Orgasmic Birth. Again the tracks I chose have no word... Just music accompanied by womens voices.
My third playlist is for after the baby is born. It's mostly instrumentals of classic lullabies and Disney songs. My favorites are from Fred Molin. He uses a lot of different instruments. I have a couple that are guitar only and Amazing Grace on piano. Lastly, I have Louis Armstrong singing It's a Wonderful World and Iz's version of Somewhere over the Rainbow.
I play my first list when Scott gives me massages. I practice relaxation and visualize myself in labor. I've never really used a breathing "technique"... Just deep breathing, whatever feels right and relaxes me at the time. I mostly just go inside myself during a wave. At this point it's not as much about escaping from any pain. I don't relate pain to childbirth. It's relaxing to allow my body to open up so that I can meet by new baby.
Everytime I take a bath I listen to my birth music. At this time the waves will be more intense when I'm actually in labor. It's labor land time! When I think back on past labors the only way I describe it is, other worldly, completely in the zone. Nothing else exists at this time. The water let's me be at one with my baby. Each wave swells then recedes like the ocean. In between I am relaxed but I don't quite come back completely to this world like in early/active labor. Then the most anticipated moment arrives. In the past my bliss has always been interrupted. As soon as I felt the least bit of pressure I was forced out of my own internal womb, into the cold. Where I was put in the least comfortable position to be checked DURING a wave by a nurse, then confirmed by my dr and my membranes ruptured. This time I get to just continue listening to my body. There is no question when it's time to push nor is it a decision. The overwhelming urge is incredible. Women are conditioned to fear this moment but I welcome it. It's such a relief getting to actually DO something rather than simply letting it happen. Did you know that when you actually feel the baby come down and begin to stretch your perineum, it is THE biggest surge of oxytocin, the love hormone, you will ever be able to experience in your whole entire life. This same hormone is what gives breastfeeding mom such a relaxed, good feeling when they nurse, further increasing their bond. AND it's the hormone responsible for the big "O"! That's why women who give birth naturally report such a euphoric state afterwards. Endorphines also come into play here. Scoring the winning touchdown in the superbowl can't compare to the high a woman receives from natural childbirth.
Wow... The rest of my post is going to seem boring after that... I may need to go take a cold shower! Lol
Anyway, where was I... Oh yeah... Playlists. I listen to my baby one at night when I winding down to go to sleep. I hold my phone close to my belly so she/he can hear too. I picture holding and nursing my new baby in my own bed in those first precious moments while I'm still filled with all those wonderful hormones!
I can't wait!! I've already gotten most of the stuff I need for the birth. All the diapers, tee shirts, and blankets are washed. Since we don't know the sex of this baby yet, I got a pack of little girly hats and ordered some newborn bows from eBay... 12 for 1.89. The rest is unisex. Plain white tshirts. I went through Ronan and Raidens stuff and picked out all the yellow and green outfits. I bought an in bed co-sleeper. I didn't buy anything new for the main floor nursery. I wanted to fix it up though. I took some extra stuff from Summers room and decorated it girly. It'll be easy to switch back if it ends up being a boy. 
I don't know what I'm going to do for the next three months or so! I think after being SOOO sick for the first 20 weeks, it's just now really sinking in. I feel great, feeling the baby kick and squirm. Not so big that I'm uncomfortable, but big enough to be cute! I guess I need to just sit back and enjoy it. With my history of going early I plan to put myself on a modified bed rest from about 32-34 weeks until 37 weeks any way. It'll be good that I got prepared early. The next milestone to look forward to is the begin of my third trimester. It's going to be a LONG 4 weeks!
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Adventures in Babywearing
Once again I am using excerpts from an old post... This one was on Myspace about a busy week I wanted to share... I left out some parts. I decided to leave in the part about Babymoon because it did lead to a sling purchase and I just loved the place. Mother Nurture also has played a roll in my life... It's more than just a shop. It's a support place. I learned more about homebirth, extended breastfeeding, and cloth diapering there too. I once stopped in there just to hang out with all my kids and nurse Ronan while waiting to get everybodies hair cut down the road! I'm getting off tract aren't I? Oh yeah... Babywearing.... The start...
Monday I decided to buy a sling carrier because Ronan has hit that 6 week peak fussy time and I can't seem to get anything done! So I went online to buy a peanut shell from Target.com but thought I would try to find one locally so I didn't have to wait for it to be shipped... I found that I could get it at 2 shops in Lexington. I got everybody ready...fed them....fed and changed Ronan.... then got out the door. Unfortunately by the time I got to Lexington both shops had closed! We went to Barnes and Noble and got some books so it wouldn't be a completely wasted trip then went home and put everybody to bed.
Tuesday while the big kids were at school me and Ronan went back to Lexington... we went to a little shop called Mother Nurture... they had all kinds of slings, wraps and carriers that you could try out before you bought. I always thought that the wraps looked too complicated with all that fabric to be worth it... but after trying it on and seeing how cozy and secure Ronan was in it and how comfortable it was for me... I decided to buy a Mobywrap.
I noticed there was a place next door called Baby Moon... during my pregnancy I had come across this place online... they hold all kinds of classes for pregnant and postnatal moms... I would have liked to have done the prenatal yoga or belly dancing classes but I had the other three kids home during the summer while I was pregnant... I had forgotten all about the place until I saw it. I When I got home I went online and took a look at their class schedule and decided I would try out ther mama and baby yoga class that they hold every Wednesday.
So Wednesday me and Ronan went to yoga... it was awesome.... there where probably 10 or 12 mommies and babies there ranging from six weeks to six months.... it wa so laid back... the instructor kept a slow pace and you just chimed in and out as your baby permitted... everybody was either participating in the yoga... nursing... bouncing their baby on an exercise ball.... or whatever they needed to. The first part of the class the focus was more towards the moms and you just laid your baby in front of you... then we did a lttle baby yoga with some infant massage.. then the last part of the class integrated mommy and baby. After class one of the moms stood up and said "Does anyone want to go to lunch".... I was like heck yeah! About eight of us went to Peneras... we sat outside and ate and talked... it was wonderful.... real adult conversation... and there was no need to feel self conscious about BIP... there's strength in numbers! One of the moms was using a New Native sling.. I decided as I ate with one hand, that it would be nice to have one of those for quick trips and unexpected times... so I stopped and got one on my way home. I can't wait until next week... I'm definitely going to sign up for more classes... I'll keep everybody posted!
Friday we went on a walking field trip with Summer's class to the fire department and Dairy Queen... this is actually Ronan's 2nd field trip... we went to the pumkin patch when he was 3 weeks. I decided to go ahead and take the stroller and throw the sling in the diaper bag... but I wish I had just put the Moby Wrap on before I left the house and just used it... having the stoller was a pain in the butt... thank goodness I did have the sling because if I hadn't I would have had to push the stroller one handed on the way from the station to Dairy Queen and then back to school. I was able to nurse using the sling with no problem... although I did feel the need to support his head a little with my arm to keep him at the right level.
Yesterday we took the whole family to a pumkin patch in Georgetown... they have a play ground with huge slides, a castle made of hay, rat races, a big wheel figure eight, and a corn maze. I used the Moby wrap this time... I think I could've nursed in it just fine but he had pooped so I was going to have to take him out anyway... since I had Scott with me I went to the car and nursed in the A/C... he was knocked out afterwards so I decided to lay him in his carseat/carrier and use the stroller.. I knew Scott could push it if I needed him to and I had the sling with me if I wanted to be able to just throw it on real quick.
I bought a Gypsy Mama water wrap for our Hawaii trip when Ronan was 7 months. I also made my own out of sarongs I bought.
I ended up using my wrap the most. I used it everytime we went to Walmart. The sling was good for quickies or nursing discretely. Like when we would go to the dr or a ball game or practice... When I didn't have to do a lot of standing or walking. When he was real little sometimes I would "wear him down" in it. Meaning put him in it at home when he was fussy and walk around or do housework until he fell asleep. Then with it, it is very easy to slip out of, leaving baby in, a lay him down without disturbing him. As he got bigger the Moby was too stretchy to be comfortable for me and it's not supportive enough for back carries. I went back to Mother Nurture of course and got a Mei Tei.. It's an Asian style carrier.
Then I got pregnant and needed something I could do a hip carry in that didn't tie across my waist. This time I got a ring sling. Unlike the pouch new native sling you can adjust the back support in it. I ended up using it the most with Raiden. It does hurt my shoulder after a while though
.
I've decided to get a Gypsy Mama Gauze wrap for this baby. They aren't as stretchy, are lighter weight for the summer, and can be bought in shorter lengths. I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos and they are quite versatile. Happy babywearing
Monday I decided to buy a sling carrier because Ronan has hit that 6 week peak fussy time and I can't seem to get anything done! So I went online to buy a peanut shell from Target.com but thought I would try to find one locally so I didn't have to wait for it to be shipped... I found that I could get it at 2 shops in Lexington. I got everybody ready...fed them....fed and changed Ronan.... then got out the door. Unfortunately by the time I got to Lexington both shops had closed! We went to Barnes and Noble and got some books so it wouldn't be a completely wasted trip then went home and put everybody to bed.
Tuesday while the big kids were at school me and Ronan went back to Lexington... we went to a little shop called Mother Nurture... they had all kinds of slings, wraps and carriers that you could try out before you bought. I always thought that the wraps looked too complicated with all that fabric to be worth it... but after trying it on and seeing how cozy and secure Ronan was in it and how comfortable it was for me... I decided to buy a Mobywrap.
I noticed there was a place next door called Baby Moon... during my pregnancy I had come across this place online... they hold all kinds of classes for pregnant and postnatal moms... I would have liked to have done the prenatal yoga or belly dancing classes but I had the other three kids home during the summer while I was pregnant... I had forgotten all about the place until I saw it. I When I got home I went online and took a look at their class schedule and decided I would try out ther mama and baby yoga class that they hold every Wednesday.
Raiden
Friday we went on a walking field trip with Summer's class to the fire department and Dairy Queen... this is actually Ronan's 2nd field trip... we went to the pumkin patch when he was 3 weeks. I decided to go ahead and take the stroller and throw the sling in the diaper bag... but I wish I had just put the Moby Wrap on before I left the house and just used it... having the stoller was a pain in the butt... thank goodness I did have the sling because if I hadn't I would have had to push the stroller one handed on the way from the station to Dairy Queen and then back to school. I was able to nurse using the sling with no problem... although I did feel the need to support his head a little with my arm to keep him at the right level.
I bought a Gypsy Mama water wrap for our Hawaii trip when Ronan was 7 months. I also made my own out of sarongs I bought.
I ended up using my wrap the most. I used it everytime we went to Walmart. The sling was good for quickies or nursing discretely. Like when we would go to the dr or a ball game or practice... When I didn't have to do a lot of standing or walking. When he was real little sometimes I would "wear him down" in it. Meaning put him in it at home when he was fussy and walk around or do housework until he fell asleep. Then with it, it is very easy to slip out of, leaving baby in, a lay him down without disturbing him. As he got bigger the Moby was too stretchy to be comfortable for me and it's not supportive enough for back carries. I went back to Mother Nurture of course and got a Mei Tei.. It's an Asian style carrier. 
. 
I've decided to get a Gypsy Mama Gauze wrap for this baby. They aren't as stretchy, are lighter weight for the summer, and can be bought in shorter lengths. I've been watching a lot of YouTube videos and they are quite versatile. Happy babywearing
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
To Spank or Not to Spank
This is were i get kicked out of the attachment parenting club. I find that style helpful with babies but not defiant children. I have really struggled with writing this post. The first part is a post I made myself on Cafemom right after Ronan was born. It was hard for me to put it on here without editing it because I actually don't agree with myself on some of it. I had just had an awesome natural birth, on which I was criticized about on Cafemom for allowing my dr to strip my membranes and breaking my water. I was just learning about AP, had read Dr. Sears book. I think I was trying very hard to "fit in" in this online community. I ended up abandoning Cafemom. It turned out to be full of to many extremes for me. With all the Lactavist, intactavist, hardcore APers. Yes, I'm a breastfeeding advocate, but I'm not going to tell another mom she's feeding her baby poison if she chooses formula. Three of my boys are circ'd and one isn't, so I'm definitely not going to accuse someone else of butchering their son! Point is as parents we all do our best with the information we have at the time. This isn't a test, there aren't right and wrong answers. As long as you are loving, and making the choice you feel is best for your family, you can't fail. We should encourage and help one another, not judge and criticize. I was also high on oxytocin when I wrote the original post. I hate to say I'm more nurturing when I'm breastfeeding... But I am. So here it is....
I'm on the fence with this subject... I agree that kids today seem to be much less respectful but it also seems like there are a LOT more parents that still believe in spanking than not... Don't misunderstand me... I am NOT advocating the extreme spanking most of our parents and grandparents used but I think in order for any disipline to work it has to be full on. Back in the day parents didn't worry about having a relationship with their children... this is not to say that those kids didn't develop a respect for their parents later on and form a close relationships. When you did something wrong you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were gunna get your butt busted... so you didn't do it... and they didn't just use a liitle tap on the butt... it HURT. There were no one, two, three chances. So I don't think spanking is an effective form of disipline when used arbitrarily... either use it all the time... or reserve it for EXTREME meassures, or don't use it at all. I think... HOPE... that other form of disipline are effective for most behavior problems if used consistantly. IMO that is our biggest down fall as parents today... we are not consistant.I agree that not all kids can handle this type of punishment... and that some have and do suffer from it. I also agree with the part of the article that says parents sometimes spank as a way to release their own frustrations. I also agree that spanking can lead to violent behavior. I am not making lay statements... I am a mother of four who is struggling to find the right method for my family... I have spanked all of my older three children and I'll have to admit that it has not worked for us... plus I am constantly dealing with the issue now of my kids hitting each other. I try to explain to them that it is not their place to disipline each other but when one does something the other does like their first reaction is to hit the other. My husband and I say to each other all the time that we don't understand... we would have never behaved the way our children have at times. I'm not saying that I gave birth to a bunch of hellians... they can be really good kids.. but we do have our issues.. I won't go into all that right now though. I am currantly looking for something that will work for our family that I can use consistantly... but I can't let that thing be spanking... I want my kids to repect me without fear of me inflicting pain on them... and I can't take the constant fighting in my house anymore... this has to be a hit free zone. I can't promise that I will Never spank Ronan(my youngest) for EXTREME things.. but I hope not... I hope that I can find something else that works... my relationship with my kids is very important to me... I know you can't be your kids best friend all the time but theres GOT to be something else that TRUELY works... cuz I've got news for you ladies that only have one... or haven't been through it all yet... an occasionall spanking doesn't work!
When I decided to revisit the subject I got online and tried to research. There are plenty of "studies" that show adverse effects of spanking. The problem is none of them are scientific. The people looked at come from an era when it's hard to find ANYbody who has never been spanked. Sure, ask a mass murderer if he was spanked as a child... I'm sure he will say yes. But how many well adjusted citizens, or even Nobel peace prize winner were spanked as well. I was. Maybe the murderer was spanked more often but chances are he wasn't a very good kid! Remember we are just talking about spanking, not abuse. In January 2010 a study was released claiming to be more scientic than any previous study. http://www.network54.com/Forum/198833/thread/1262937031/1263592600/Pro-Spanking+Studies+May+Have+Global+Effect
So is spanking actually beneficial when used correctly. But what is correct...
I so many times in the past, when my kids were misbehaving wondered where I went wrong. The only thing I think I did wrong was not turn to God sooner for guidance. All of the character qualities I want my children to have are outlined in the Bible. It's my job to teach them. I don't think my kids hit each other because of an occasional spanking. I think they hit because the majority of them are aggressive boys, and I failed to teach them self-control.
So what exactly does the Bible say about spanking.
Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
Some people argue that King Solomon who wrote proverbs was a tyrant and look how his son turned out but the Bible tells us God gave him great wisdom.
Solomon prays:
"Give Thy servant an understanding heart to judge Thy people and to know good and evil."1 Kings 3:9 [9]
"So God said to him, 'Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked...'" (1 Kings 3:11-12)[9] The Hebrew Bible also states that: "The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart." (1 Kings 10:24) [10]
The old testament also advises a lot of stoning though... So you decide.
Anyway, this is what we have come up with for our family. We have Bible study every evening to learn how to apply the fruits of the spirit to our lives. In our chore packs specific consequences are given. If morning pack isn't completed, that person has to do everyones bathroom chore in the afternoon. If the afternoon pack isn't completed, that person has to do everyones kitchen chore in the evening. If evening pack isn't completed, no bedtime snack! Timeouts are given for indirect disobedience... Or doing what you know you are not suppose to do. Grounding and loss of priveleges results after a third timeout in day. Direct defiances gets a count to 3, then a spanking. There I said it. I spank my kids. Or at least I would. They don't usually let me get to 3. I used redirection with Ronan, as I am doing now with Raiden until about 3. When I was sure he understood my direction, but started telling me no. Am I bad mom, I don't think so. Although, my kids do sometimes tell me I'm the worst mom in the world, when they don't get their way. I figure they will have plenty of friends in their lifetimes, but only one mom. My firmness is balanced with, love, gentleness and affection. My 12 year old son still likes to cuddle with me, as do all my kids. I don't yell and scream anymore, it's not necessary. Hopefully as my kids and I learn more from the Bible, discipline will become less and less. It seems like it has already and we are only two weeks in.
I'm on the fence with this subject... I agree that kids today seem to be much less respectful but it also seems like there are a LOT more parents that still believe in spanking than not... Don't misunderstand me... I am NOT advocating the extreme spanking most of our parents and grandparents used but I think in order for any disipline to work it has to be full on. Back in the day parents didn't worry about having a relationship with their children... this is not to say that those kids didn't develop a respect for their parents later on and form a close relationships. When you did something wrong you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were gunna get your butt busted... so you didn't do it... and they didn't just use a liitle tap on the butt... it HURT. There were no one, two, three chances. So I don't think spanking is an effective form of disipline when used arbitrarily... either use it all the time... or reserve it for EXTREME meassures, or don't use it at all. I think... HOPE... that other form of disipline are effective for most behavior problems if used consistantly. IMO that is our biggest down fall as parents today... we are not consistant.I agree that not all kids can handle this type of punishment... and that some have and do suffer from it. I also agree with the part of the article that says parents sometimes spank as a way to release their own frustrations. I also agree that spanking can lead to violent behavior. I am not making lay statements... I am a mother of four who is struggling to find the right method for my family... I have spanked all of my older three children and I'll have to admit that it has not worked for us... plus I am constantly dealing with the issue now of my kids hitting each other. I try to explain to them that it is not their place to disipline each other but when one does something the other does like their first reaction is to hit the other. My husband and I say to each other all the time that we don't understand... we would have never behaved the way our children have at times. I'm not saying that I gave birth to a bunch of hellians... they can be really good kids.. but we do have our issues.. I won't go into all that right now though. I am currantly looking for something that will work for our family that I can use consistantly... but I can't let that thing be spanking... I want my kids to repect me without fear of me inflicting pain on them... and I can't take the constant fighting in my house anymore... this has to be a hit free zone. I can't promise that I will Never spank Ronan(my youngest) for EXTREME things.. but I hope not... I hope that I can find something else that works... my relationship with my kids is very important to me... I know you can't be your kids best friend all the time but theres GOT to be something else that TRUELY works... cuz I've got news for you ladies that only have one... or haven't been through it all yet... an occasionall spanking doesn't work!
When I decided to revisit the subject I got online and tried to research. There are plenty of "studies" that show adverse effects of spanking. The problem is none of them are scientific. The people looked at come from an era when it's hard to find ANYbody who has never been spanked. Sure, ask a mass murderer if he was spanked as a child... I'm sure he will say yes. But how many well adjusted citizens, or even Nobel peace prize winner were spanked as well. I was. Maybe the murderer was spanked more often but chances are he wasn't a very good kid! Remember we are just talking about spanking, not abuse. In January 2010 a study was released claiming to be more scientic than any previous study. http://www.network54.com/Forum/198833/thread/1262937031/1263592600/Pro-Spanking+Studies+May+Have+Global+Effect
So is spanking actually beneficial when used correctly. But what is correct...
I so many times in the past, when my kids were misbehaving wondered where I went wrong. The only thing I think I did wrong was not turn to God sooner for guidance. All of the character qualities I want my children to have are outlined in the Bible. It's my job to teach them. I don't think my kids hit each other because of an occasional spanking. I think they hit because the majority of them are aggressive boys, and I failed to teach them self-control.
So what exactly does the Bible say about spanking.
Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
Some people argue that King Solomon who wrote proverbs was a tyrant and look how his son turned out but the Bible tells us God gave him great wisdom.
Solomon prays:
"Give Thy servant an understanding heart to judge Thy people and to know good and evil."1 Kings 3:9 [9]
"So God said to him, 'Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked...'" (1 Kings 3:11-12)[9] The Hebrew Bible also states that: "The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart." (1 Kings 10:24) [10]
The old testament also advises a lot of stoning though... So you decide.
Anyway, this is what we have come up with for our family. We have Bible study every evening to learn how to apply the fruits of the spirit to our lives. In our chore packs specific consequences are given. If morning pack isn't completed, that person has to do everyones bathroom chore in the afternoon. If the afternoon pack isn't completed, that person has to do everyones kitchen chore in the evening. If evening pack isn't completed, no bedtime snack! Timeouts are given for indirect disobedience... Or doing what you know you are not suppose to do. Grounding and loss of priveleges results after a third timeout in day. Direct defiances gets a count to 3, then a spanking. There I said it. I spank my kids. Or at least I would. They don't usually let me get to 3. I used redirection with Ronan, as I am doing now with Raiden until about 3. When I was sure he understood my direction, but started telling me no. Am I bad mom, I don't think so. Although, my kids do sometimes tell me I'm the worst mom in the world, when they don't get their way. I figure they will have plenty of friends in their lifetimes, but only one mom. My firmness is balanced with, love, gentleness and affection. My 12 year old son still likes to cuddle with me, as do all my kids. I don't yell and scream anymore, it's not necessary. Hopefully as my kids and I learn more from the Bible, discipline will become less and less. It seems like it has already and we are only two weeks in.
Monday, January 17, 2011
My journey to attachment parenting
This post in itself has been an evolution. I originally wrote it after Ronan was born, then updated it after Raiden was born. Now, Over a year later, I'm updating again! Sleeping arrangements have, and will always be, evolving at our house. As well as other aspects of my parenting.
I've always leaned a little towards AP but I guess found it easier to follow mainstream. I don't think you can "spoil" a newnorn. Most are carried for 9 months in the womb so a few more months isn't going to ruin them... Just give them security. I was 21 when I had my first and only nursed for 3 months. I was working and going to school full time... I put myself before my baby. He slept in a bassinet next to our bed for his first 2 months and then moved to his own room in his own bed. Luckily for the most part Joshua wasn't a cryer he started sleeping through the night at 9 weeks and if he did wake up I could give him a pacifier and he would drift right back to sleep. Unfortunately, I did let him CIO a few times because I was too lazy to walk to his room in the middle of the night. Now that I look back I see that it would have been much easier and better for him to have left him in our room. We moved when he was 18 months. My SIL wanted her crib back so we bought a toddler bed... that worked for about a week then we decided to wecome him back to our bed. He stayed there until he turned 5.
Jacob was born when Joshua was 3. He had belly problems. He couldn't lie flat so he slept in his carseat/carrier until he was 4 months at which time I stopped nursing. I later found out that he had been suffering from lactose overload. He was an emotionally taxing baby... because of his belly problems that my pedatrician just coined "colic." He cried ALL the time. I put the poor baby in his own room and let him CIO because nothing I did seemed to work. If only I had been more educated. He cries a lot to this day and I blame myself. When he was 6 months old I found out I was pregnant with Summer. We then moved Jacob to the bigger room in preparation for him and Joshua to eventually share a room. He was 2 1/2 when that happened. We moved him out of his crib when he was 3. They slept together on a futon at first. We got them twin beds shortly after, then bunk beds right before Ronan was born.
Summer too, went to her own room when she was 2 months. I had created a beautiful nursery for her and darnit she was gunna use it. I got a lot less sleep than I could have had I not been being bull headed. I stopped nursing her at 6 months partially because we were starting to plan #4, partially for selfish reasons. Once she was out of her crib she slept on a little toddler couch bed in the boys room for a while and slept in our room in a recliner until she was 5 when she got a "big girl princess canopy bed." She had a special spot in our room that she liked to revisit up until we moved when she was 7.
I wrote this next part right after Ronan was born. I wanted to leave it but I'll update too.
Now my older kids are in school and I have a brand new baby and am a lot more educated but am still learning. Ronans crib is in our room bumped up against our bed. I was an idiot for not co-sleeping with all of them. I love him being right there next to me and I even sometimes enjoy those late night feedings. I hope that I am able to nurse until he is ready to stop... stay in my room until he is ready to leave... never has to know what it is like to CIO... is worn unless he prefers otherwise until I'm not physically able... and is never spanked. I'm am going to write a separate blog on my experience with spanking and babywearing. I believe that I will be able to acheive these thing through the help and support of other moms like me.
My view on spanking is still on the fence. I have still resorted to it for discipline. I'll get to that post next.
At 9 months Ronan was still not sleeping thru the night and nursing every 3hrs around the clock. So we started experimenting with other sleeping arrangements. Summertime had just started so we let Summer either sleep on the couch or in our room and put him in her room. He finally slept thru the night but wouldnt settle in good until it got dark and would wake up as soon as the sun came up. So we hung blankets on the window and that did the trick he started sleeping from 8 to 8. It was wonderful. When school started back we had to figure out something different so Summer could have her room back. We took the shelves down on one side in our walk-in closet and put his crib in there. That's where he stayed until we moved.
One of the things that makes this house perfect for us is that it has a nursery off the master suite that doesn't have any windows!
Ronan got only breastmilk until he was six months old. I ended up in the hospital with a kidney stone right before our trip to Hawaii. But that's a whole other story. He continued to nurse til he was 11 months and then just gave it up on his own. I started giving him solids at between 6&7 months. I bought a little purator and made my own bb food. Not because I think there is anything wrong with store bought but because I thought it was convenient and cheap. I invested a lot in good slings and wraps and think they are the greatest. I would see other moms in Walmart with their carriers in their buggies, holding their babies trying to console them and push the buggy at the same time. While I had mine snuggled up to my chest snoozing hands free. I even wore him in a ringsling when I was pregnant at the aquarium and zoo.
Raiden of course sleeps next to us and nurses when he wants. I have had to supplement with formula a little because I haven't had the time to pump like I did with Ronan. Another big decision we made different with him is that we decided not to circumcise. Not anything major but we had problems with all of our other boys. After Ronans I had went online to see if his was healing right (he had the bell) and ended up coming across some things I had never even thought about. We just did it to our others because we thought that's what everybody did and that it was necassary. Not for any religious or personal convictions. I won't go into it all, it was not an easy decision but we decided that we weren't going to do it this time. I didn't have reservation with the others because I wasn't educated. Having reservations, if something bad would have happened, although the chances are slim, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself. It's kinda funny because he ended up being born with something called a tied tongue where the piece of skin under the tongue (frenulum) is short. Since he was gaining weight fine we decided not to have it clipped either. Scott joked that if he decides when he's older to have either one done, maybe he can get a two for one special. Lol
I said earlier that I began supplementing with Raiden. I did this so Scott could do a night time feed on the weekend and I could get a longer stretch of sleep. At six months Raiden decided he could wait for mommy. He flat out started refusing a bottle, even if it had breastmilk in it. No biggy, he was giving me longer stretches at night anyway. He started taking sippy cups with whole milk at 11 1/2 months. He stopped nursing on his own at 12 1/2 months. A week before I found out I was pregnant.
Okay, now for the 2010-2011 update on sleeping arrangements. When we first moved in Joshua wanted his room in the basement. That didn't last long... He ended up at first sleeping on a mattress in the floor in Jacobs room. Then just in the bed with Jacob... Shhh! Don't tell anybody!
When Raiden started sitting up on his own, which was at about 8 months. We had to move him out of the bassinet. I know it was long over due! I just wasnt ready to move Ronan out of the nursery off our room yet. We tried at first moving Ronan to the basement because it doesn't have windows. We turned the main floor nursery into a bedroom for Joshua but he still ended up sleeping with Jacob. For some reason Ronan refused to use the ceiling fan down there and since the AC isn't ran to the basement he would sweat really bad at naptime. Since Joshua wasn't using his room we moved Ronan in there and I put a blackout shade on the window.
When I found out I was pregnant again, we again decided we needed to reassess. We moved Summer to the basement... She'll use the ceiling fan. Joshua and Jacob moved to Summers room. It's bigger and had more closet space. We put a queen size bed in there for them. Ronan doesn't nap anymore for the most part. We moved him to the boys old room... No blackout shade. And turned the little room back into a day nursery. We kept a twin bed in there though.
My mom asked the other day where the new baby is going to sleep at night. Well, that will change a lot over the first year. We've never been real comfortable with a newborn actually IN the bed with us. I could've bought another full size crib to put next to the bed... Our last one got recalled, but I decided to buy an in bed co-sleeper this time. That a way i can put the baby between us up high and not have to worry about Scott rolling or covering him/her with our blankets. I'm not sure how long we will use it. I'm guessing 1-3 months then we will transition to the bassinet next to our bed. I like being able to place my hand on them comfortably in the early days. It helps both of us sleep. I'll push that as long as I can, 6-8 months. Then Raiden will have to move to the main floor with the rest of the boys. He'll be 26-28 months by then. He'll stay in his baby bed until he's 3 hopefully. Ronan was 2 1/2 because of the recall. I haven't decided yet if I'll move him in with Ronan or into the day nursery. It depends on whether I still want to use it for naps for the baby.... We'll see!
All in all, I think the best sleeping arrangement varies for every family. It depends on where everybody is getting the best sleep. I don't think there is anything wrong with co sleeping long term... It's just not for us. I like transitioning mine to their own space when they start moving around so I don't have to worry about them getting up during naptime with me unaware. With so many kids I don't have the luxury of being able to nap with them. I have to use that time wisely! We like gently teaching our babies... After 6-8 months... To fall asleep on their own. I begin by lying them down for naps and bedtime, awake but drowsy. I go back to them and give a binky, or pat them briefly as soon as they make a peep. Soon they learn that I didn't really leave them and would be there immediately if they need me. Sleep becomes a peaceful, restful state that they enjoy and do not fear. After they get used to being in a separate room every now and then they may protest going to bed by fussing a minute or two. As long as it doesn't last or escalate I leave them alone. Also at night once they are skipping the nighttime feeds, if they wake up, at first again I go to them immediately. Then after they are going to sleep initially on their own, I'll let them fuss a minute or two to give them a chance to put themselves back to sleep. This has worked like a charm for both Ronan and Raiden. I'll keep my finger crossed for this one!
The 7 baby b's
1. Birth bonding
2. Breastfeeding
3. Bedding close by
4. Babywearing
5. Being sensitive to babys cry
6. Beware of baby trainers (schedules)
7. Balance
I also like the 5 S's
1. Swaddling
2. Sucking
3. Swinging/swaying
4. Shhhhing sound
4. Side/stomach..... When you are monitoring
I've always leaned a little towards AP but I guess found it easier to follow mainstream. I don't think you can "spoil" a newnorn. Most are carried for 9 months in the womb so a few more months isn't going to ruin them... Just give them security. I was 21 when I had my first and only nursed for 3 months. I was working and going to school full time... I put myself before my baby. He slept in a bassinet next to our bed for his first 2 months and then moved to his own room in his own bed. Luckily for the most part Joshua wasn't a cryer he started sleeping through the night at 9 weeks and if he did wake up I could give him a pacifier and he would drift right back to sleep. Unfortunately, I did let him CIO a few times because I was too lazy to walk to his room in the middle of the night. Now that I look back I see that it would have been much easier and better for him to have left him in our room. We moved when he was 18 months. My SIL wanted her crib back so we bought a toddler bed... that worked for about a week then we decided to wecome him back to our bed. He stayed there until he turned 5.
Jacob was born when Joshua was 3. He had belly problems. He couldn't lie flat so he slept in his carseat/carrier until he was 4 months at which time I stopped nursing. I later found out that he had been suffering from lactose overload. He was an emotionally taxing baby... because of his belly problems that my pedatrician just coined "colic." He cried ALL the time. I put the poor baby in his own room and let him CIO because nothing I did seemed to work. If only I had been more educated. He cries a lot to this day and I blame myself. When he was 6 months old I found out I was pregnant with Summer. We then moved Jacob to the bigger room in preparation for him and Joshua to eventually share a room. He was 2 1/2 when that happened. We moved him out of his crib when he was 3. They slept together on a futon at first. We got them twin beds shortly after, then bunk beds right before Ronan was born.
Summer too, went to her own room when she was 2 months. I had created a beautiful nursery for her and darnit she was gunna use it. I got a lot less sleep than I could have had I not been being bull headed. I stopped nursing her at 6 months partially because we were starting to plan #4, partially for selfish reasons. Once she was out of her crib she slept on a little toddler couch bed in the boys room for a while and slept in our room in a recliner until she was 5 when she got a "big girl princess canopy bed." She had a special spot in our room that she liked to revisit up until we moved when she was 7.
I wrote this next part right after Ronan was born. I wanted to leave it but I'll update too.
Now my older kids are in school and I have a brand new baby and am a lot more educated but am still learning. Ronans crib is in our room bumped up against our bed. I was an idiot for not co-sleeping with all of them. I love him being right there next to me and I even sometimes enjoy those late night feedings. I hope that I am able to nurse until he is ready to stop... stay in my room until he is ready to leave... never has to know what it is like to CIO... is worn unless he prefers otherwise until I'm not physically able... and is never spanked. I'm am going to write a separate blog on my experience with spanking and babywearing. I believe that I will be able to acheive these thing through the help and support of other moms like me.
My view on spanking is still on the fence. I have still resorted to it for discipline. I'll get to that post next.
At 9 months Ronan was still not sleeping thru the night and nursing every 3hrs around the clock. So we started experimenting with other sleeping arrangements. Summertime had just started so we let Summer either sleep on the couch or in our room and put him in her room. He finally slept thru the night but wouldnt settle in good until it got dark and would wake up as soon as the sun came up. So we hung blankets on the window and that did the trick he started sleeping from 8 to 8. It was wonderful. When school started back we had to figure out something different so Summer could have her room back. We took the shelves down on one side in our walk-in closet and put his crib in there. That's where he stayed until we moved.
One of the things that makes this house perfect for us is that it has a nursery off the master suite that doesn't have any windows!
Ronan got only breastmilk until he was six months old. I ended up in the hospital with a kidney stone right before our trip to Hawaii. But that's a whole other story. He continued to nurse til he was 11 months and then just gave it up on his own. I started giving him solids at between 6&7 months. I bought a little purator and made my own bb food. Not because I think there is anything wrong with store bought but because I thought it was convenient and cheap. I invested a lot in good slings and wraps and think they are the greatest. I would see other moms in Walmart with their carriers in their buggies, holding their babies trying to console them and push the buggy at the same time. While I had mine snuggled up to my chest snoozing hands free. I even wore him in a ringsling when I was pregnant at the aquarium and zoo.
Raiden of course sleeps next to us and nurses when he wants. I have had to supplement with formula a little because I haven't had the time to pump like I did with Ronan. Another big decision we made different with him is that we decided not to circumcise. Not anything major but we had problems with all of our other boys. After Ronans I had went online to see if his was healing right (he had the bell) and ended up coming across some things I had never even thought about. We just did it to our others because we thought that's what everybody did and that it was necassary. Not for any religious or personal convictions. I won't go into it all, it was not an easy decision but we decided that we weren't going to do it this time. I didn't have reservation with the others because I wasn't educated. Having reservations, if something bad would have happened, although the chances are slim, I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself. It's kinda funny because he ended up being born with something called a tied tongue where the piece of skin under the tongue (frenulum) is short. Since he was gaining weight fine we decided not to have it clipped either. Scott joked that if he decides when he's older to have either one done, maybe he can get a two for one special. Lol
I said earlier that I began supplementing with Raiden. I did this so Scott could do a night time feed on the weekend and I could get a longer stretch of sleep. At six months Raiden decided he could wait for mommy. He flat out started refusing a bottle, even if it had breastmilk in it. No biggy, he was giving me longer stretches at night anyway. He started taking sippy cups with whole milk at 11 1/2 months. He stopped nursing on his own at 12 1/2 months. A week before I found out I was pregnant.
Okay, now for the 2010-2011 update on sleeping arrangements. When we first moved in Joshua wanted his room in the basement. That didn't last long... He ended up at first sleeping on a mattress in the floor in Jacobs room. Then just in the bed with Jacob... Shhh! Don't tell anybody!
When Raiden started sitting up on his own, which was at about 8 months. We had to move him out of the bassinet. I know it was long over due! I just wasnt ready to move Ronan out of the nursery off our room yet. We tried at first moving Ronan to the basement because it doesn't have windows. We turned the main floor nursery into a bedroom for Joshua but he still ended up sleeping with Jacob. For some reason Ronan refused to use the ceiling fan down there and since the AC isn't ran to the basement he would sweat really bad at naptime. Since Joshua wasn't using his room we moved Ronan in there and I put a blackout shade on the window.
When I found out I was pregnant again, we again decided we needed to reassess. We moved Summer to the basement... She'll use the ceiling fan. Joshua and Jacob moved to Summers room. It's bigger and had more closet space. We put a queen size bed in there for them. Ronan doesn't nap anymore for the most part. We moved him to the boys old room... No blackout shade. And turned the little room back into a day nursery. We kept a twin bed in there though.
My mom asked the other day where the new baby is going to sleep at night. Well, that will change a lot over the first year. We've never been real comfortable with a newborn actually IN the bed with us. I could've bought another full size crib to put next to the bed... Our last one got recalled, but I decided to buy an in bed co-sleeper this time. That a way i can put the baby between us up high and not have to worry about Scott rolling or covering him/her with our blankets. I'm not sure how long we will use it. I'm guessing 1-3 months then we will transition to the bassinet next to our bed. I like being able to place my hand on them comfortably in the early days. It helps both of us sleep. I'll push that as long as I can, 6-8 months. Then Raiden will have to move to the main floor with the rest of the boys. He'll be 26-28 months by then. He'll stay in his baby bed until he's 3 hopefully. Ronan was 2 1/2 because of the recall. I haven't decided yet if I'll move him in with Ronan or into the day nursery. It depends on whether I still want to use it for naps for the baby.... We'll see!
All in all, I think the best sleeping arrangement varies for every family. It depends on where everybody is getting the best sleep. I don't think there is anything wrong with co sleeping long term... It's just not for us. I like transitioning mine to their own space when they start moving around so I don't have to worry about them getting up during naptime with me unaware. With so many kids I don't have the luxury of being able to nap with them. I have to use that time wisely! We like gently teaching our babies... After 6-8 months... To fall asleep on their own. I begin by lying them down for naps and bedtime, awake but drowsy. I go back to them and give a binky, or pat them briefly as soon as they make a peep. Soon they learn that I didn't really leave them and would be there immediately if they need me. Sleep becomes a peaceful, restful state that they enjoy and do not fear. After they get used to being in a separate room every now and then they may protest going to bed by fussing a minute or two. As long as it doesn't last or escalate I leave them alone. Also at night once they are skipping the nighttime feeds, if they wake up, at first again I go to them immediately. Then after they are going to sleep initially on their own, I'll let them fuss a minute or two to give them a chance to put themselves back to sleep. This has worked like a charm for both Ronan and Raiden. I'll keep my finger crossed for this one!
The 7 baby b's
1. Birth bonding
2. Breastfeeding
3. Bedding close by
4. Babywearing
5. Being sensitive to babys cry
6. Beware of baby trainers (schedules)
7. Balance
I also like the 5 S's
1. Swaddling
2. Sucking
3. Swinging/swaying
4. Shhhhing sound
4. Side/stomach..... When you are monitoring
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Natural Childbirth - Part 2
After Summer God gave us a 5 year baby break. During this time is when I lent out my library. When I finally got pregnant with Ronan I went out and got a couple of new books. Most notably... Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth and Birthing from Within. I decided this time I was going to have a birthing plan. Here's a copy...
Birth Plan
Clark Regional Medical Center
August/September 2009
We realize that birth offers many surprises. We are more than willing to work with the staff should circumstances arise. These are our preferences if everything is going smoothly. We hope that you are willing to work with us. Thank you.
Labor:
Attendants: Dad and/or babysitter are the only ones permitted in the delivery room.
Setting: Please dim the lights and be as quiet as possible. Only ask me questions that others cannot answer.
Pain Relief: Please do not even mention pain medication, we will let you know if it becomes necessary.
IV: I prefer a heparin lock.
Position: I would like to be free to move about as I wish.
Cervical checks: Kept to a minimum and performed in a position other than flat on my back if in intense labor.
Monitoring: Continuous monitoring for a short time upon admission only please. A portable Doppler may be used if necessary thereafter.
Birth:
Position: I would like to try squatting/kneeling in the bed or whatever feels natural at the time.
Pushing: I would prefer to push spontaneously with contractions. Please no loud coaching , although quiet encouragement is welcomed.
Delivery: I would like to catch my own baby unless dad is present and wishes to.
Monitoring: Handheld Doppler only if pushing becomes prolonged please.
After Birth:
Suctioning: In my arms as necessary.
Drying: Please hand me a blanket and I will dry and stimulate my baby.
Cord cutting: Dad or I will cut the cord after it stops pulsing.
Placenta: Bed can be taken apart for delivery of placenta.
Bleeding: Please allow me to try breastfeeding before pitocin is administered.
Baby Care:
Newborn Assessment, ect.: Please do not take my baby from me unless necessary until after I have breastfed to help minimize my bleeding. Perform all assessments possible in my arms.
Eye Ointment: I would like to forgo the administration of eye prophylactics but if deemed necessary I would like to delay at least one hour.
Rooming: I would prefer my baby not be taken to the nursery unless absolutely necessary.
Warming: Skin to skin with a warm blanket covering both of us. I would be willing to take the baby’s temperature periodically and if it drops to low, allow him to be taken to the nursery for warming.
Weighing: I would like to accompany my baby when taken to be weighed.
Bathing: I would prefer to bath my baby in my room. Again, I will do temperature monitoring.
Visitors: Only allowed in mother-baby room once we are settled.
Discharge:
After PKU screening, about 24 hours after birth.
Please discuss with us any of our request that you are unable to accommodate.
Thank You,
It was edited slightly between Ronan and Raiden but not much. I took out the part where I wanted to give the first bath. I really wanted to, but it was just something I ended up compromising. I considered a homebirth but I had been through so much with my dr at that point I thought I'd present him with my plan and see how he reacted.... He didn't bat an eye. He did ask that I bring in some research on catching my own baby. I printed some material from this website http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/
And another I can't recall. I'm sure he wanted his butt covered "just in case".
Saturday, August 25th I started having a lot of braxton hicks contractions. They weren't very stong or consistant, and then they just stopped. The same thing happend on Sunday night and all day Monday. I had a doctors appointment Tuesday... he checked me and I was 4cm dilated, 80 % effaced, and the baby was almost at 0 station. He went ahead and stripped my membranes and sent me home. After I got home I walked, and walked, and walked some more. At about 8 o'clock my contractions were coming pretty steady. They still weren't intensifying and were only lasting about 30 seconds though. At midnight they started getting a little stronger so I started debating on calling my mom to come watch the kids.... I waited about an hour and then they started slowing down and I fell asleep. I really think that my anxiety over not having child care when it was time was causing my labor to stall. My mom was at least an hour and a half away. In hindsight we could have taken the kids to the hospital until she got there but that would have left me alone so I didn't consider it. I woke up at 6:15 to get the kids ready for school... I was still contracting but again nothing strong and nothing consistant. I told Scott not to go to work because I was afraid of my labor hitting hard and fast and him not making it home in time. At 11:00 I decided to call my doctor to see what he thought. He told me to come into the office so he could check me and see what, if anything was going on. We went straight over and found that I was now 5cm and the baby was at 0 station. He sent me over to the hospital to be monitored. I had to go back by the house to get my bags then we got checked in at 12:30. My doctor came in at 12:45 and said he didn't think it would be wise to let me go home so he suggested we break my water to get things moving along... I agreed. Scott and I then started walking around the hospital. At 1:45 my doctor checked me and I was 6cm... my contraction still weren't painful at all so we walked some more. It was really nice. We went to the cafeteria to get Scott some lunch. At 3 my contractions started getting more uncomfortable. We called to make sure my mom got the kids got off of the bus okay then headed back to the room. At 3:15 I got in the whirlpool. I was half afraid not walking would slow my labor down but I really wanted the opportunity to use the bath this time... with Jacob and Summer I didn't have time.
While in the tub it got to where I couldn't talk or listen though a contraction. At about 4 I had two really painful ones. I started to feel a little nausious and told Scott to call for my nurse. I had two more before I could get to the bed. I could handle them okay while I was standing but when I had one lying down, when she was getting ready to check me, I thought I was going to DIE! I was thinking I was probably just now hitting transitions and I was going to be about 8cm... I was complete with a little anterior lip. The nurses all rushed out to call my doctor. When the next contraction hit I told Scott to tell them I was pushing and I couldn't stop! He hesitated for a second not wanting to leave me then ran out told them and ran back. As he came back in the baby started to crown... I had rolled over onto my left side and was birting my baby all by myself! I reached down with the next contraction and supported his head as I pushed. The nurses came in when the head was about half out. Once I delivered the head one of the nurses reached in to do something... I'm not quite sure what but then the next contraction came and she back off as I pushed him the rest of the way out... as soon as I started pushing that time we noticed the cord was wrapped loosely around his neck so as he came out I held his head and shoulders in my left hand, let his body slip onto the bed and removed the cord with my right.
Ronan was born on August 29th at 4:18 into his mommy's loving hands... how awesome is that! He was 3 weeks and 2 days early, weighed 5lbs 14.5 oz and was 19 inches long! It was absolutely amazing!
The nurses just handed me blankets to dry and stimulate him with... he cryed right away. They offered for me to suction him but I was afraid of being to timid to get him cleared out good and he sounded a little gooky.. so the nurse did it while I held him. We waited a good 5 minutes or so for the cord to stop pulsing before they clamped it and Scott cut it.
My doctor arrived at a little after 4:30.
They still ended up taking him for a few minutes before giving him back to nurse. My original plan wasn't specific on this... I didn't ask then for the delay in eye drops either. While I ate dinner they took him to the nursery, got him clean up, weighed, and measured then brought him right back. Then it went downhill a little. They were packed that night so they said I would be staying in my labor room instead of a recovery room. At about 3 in the morning they came in and said they needed my room. I would be moving to a semiprivate room and Scott would not be allowed to stay with me. I was heart broken. I didn't want to stay alone so Scott went back to our house with the big kids and my mom came up to the hospital. He came back at about 8. Our pediatrician ended up delaying our departure a little but we were home for dinner!
My pregnancy with Raiden was very stressful. The economy went in the toilet. They took away Scotts OT and we started getting nervous about him getting laid off. He ended up getting a job in WV... The town he grew up in. We put the house up for sale. He started July 13th... I wasn't due until September 13th. We decided the kids and I would stay in KY until the house sold or the baby was born which ever came first. Scott stayed at his Grandmas house in town that no one lived in. July 23rd after my drs appointment the kids and I went to visit. We got a call that day that we got and offer on our house. We went house hunting when we got there and found one perfect for our family. God is good. Our closings were set tentatively for August 24th and 30th. School was starting in WV on the 24th so they would miss the first day or two. Now where was I going to give birth????!!! I NEEDED to have this baby by the 22nd. I prayed. I desperately tried to convince my doctor, if my cervix was favorable to break my water, if I hadn't gone on my own by then! At my appointment on the 17th I was 3cm and 50% effaced. He scheduled me to come back in on Friday, he would strip my membranes but it was too early to break my water. I prayed some more.
Tuesday was pretty hectic. The kids had dentist appts at 8am then I had to take them to the health department to get TB test for school in WV. Ronan wasn't feeling good so I packed him around the whole time.
Wednesday was delivery day. As soon as I got up I ran to Sav A Lot for a few neccesities. The closing on our house had gotten moved up so I thought I might be in Winchester another week.
When Ronan went down for his nap I let Joshua sit with him while I took Jacob and Summer to Walmart for some things for the house.
After Ronan woke up we all went to The Childrens Place to get new jackets and a few new school clothes. Ronan still wasn't feeling good so eventhough I brought the stroller in, I still had to pack him. We also ran to Old Navy, and we had to stop back by Walmart for something I had forgotten earlier.
When we were leaving there I got a call from my realtor that I needed to stop by and sign the new contract. I signed it at 4:55pm. The office is next to a health foods store so I stopped in to pick up a couple of things that might help get things going. I needed a substitute since Scott wasn't in town and I couldn't take advantage of his prostaglandins!! Lol. Evening primrose is suppose to do the same thing and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea is suppose to help strengthen Braxton Hicks. I was talking to Scott on the way home and told him that maybe it was a good thing the closing got postponed because I didn't think I was going to go into labor by Sat and at least I'd still have a house to stay in. I said "I'm just not feeling it". But God always has his own plan, maybe I just needed to stop stressing about it.
When we got home I laid on the couch and Ronan was wallering all over me whining. It felt like he was running a fever so I gave him some Tylenol. Then he cuddled up on my belly. I was on the phone with Scott and I had a contraction. It was stronger than any of the others I had had thus far and I felt it "lower". I couldn't even follow the conversation we were having. This was at about 5:45. It seemed I bought those herbs for nothing!
I let Scott go and told him I was going to take a bath. I had another contraction then my stomach just started feeling taught and my lower back was aching. I called my sis at 6:24. She was going into work and I just wanted to let her know that I thought I might be going into labor. Called Scott at 6:36.
I updated FB at around 6:40 then got in the tub. It did help my back and let my uterus relax, then I started having regular contractions. At 6:53 I txt'd my babysitter and asked her if she could come stay the night with me just in case. She said she was eating dinner with her fam and then she would be over. I txt'd my sis at 7 and told her I had had 3 contractions since I had been in the tub and that I was going to try going for a walk. Usually if you're in false labor walking will make the contraction stop. If it's real labor it will intensify them. I called Scott back at 7:19. I had a couple of more in the tub then got out.
I got dressed in my labor clothes I had bought. It consisted of a black cotton skirt and a black nursing, sleep bra with a turquoise tank over it. I hate it that I didn't get a pic:( I put some make up on just in case. I think at this point I knew but wasn't admitting it to myself yet. I txt'd my sis again at 7:24. I told her I was going for my walk and not to worry about me, my babysitter was on her way. Called Scott at 7:29 told him I was going to let my phone charge while I walked. As I walked the contractions just kept coming.
I called my babysitter at around 8 from the kids phone to see what was keeping her and to tell her I thought tonight was going to be the night. She proceeded to tell me that she was STILL eating and that her car had been overheating. I'm thinking to myself "so grab a gallon of water and come on!". Or find some other way to get here. I told her that she knew my labors didn't take long so she needed to let me know if she wasn't coming! I walked a bit more, stopped and talked to a neighbor, then decided I needed to make other arrangements.
My neighbor across the street is a nurse at the hospital I was going to be delivering at(not a labor nurse but a nurse). Summer plays with her little girl. She's lived there for years. We've always been neighborly and I thought maybe I could count on her in a pinch. At almost 8:30 I knocked on her door and asked if her teenage daughter could come stay the night with my kids. She asked how I planned to get to the hospital and I said I guess I'll drive myself or call a cab. She pretty much said over her dead body. That she would take me and stay with me. I said Thank you!
At 8:35 I txt'd my sis and told her these contractions weren't going away. That I was going to try and sit for an hour and time them. I tried but I couldn't sit. They were coming pretty much one right after another. At 8:46 she told me I should call the dr. I was like, not yet, I don't want to get there too soon!
At 8:52 My babysitter txt'd me to tell me she couldn't make it!!
At 9:01 I told my sis I was going to call the dr because they were coming so fast. Ironically I called my neighbor at 9:11. Scott called at 9:15 I told him we were about to leave. At 9:17 we left for the hospital. It's less than a 10 minute drive and I had 4 or 5 contractions on the way. The admitting lady asked how close together they were and I said about two minutes and my friend said "If that!!!"
I opted to not wear a hospital gown and stayed in my labor clothes. The nurse checked me and put the monitors on me just long enough to record a couple of contractions and Raidens heart rate through them. I was 4-5cm and 100% effaced. This was at about 10. I updated Scott and my sis. Then she gave me a hep lock just in case I needed pitocin afterwards.
My dr wanted to be called when I was 7-8 since he missed it last time. We ran me a bath in the whirlpool tub. I asked the nurse to check me before I got in. I was 7cm. I had been drinking apple juice and got sick. This was at almost 10:30. I got in the tub and it was heaven. Any tension that I had between contractions melted away. I updated Scott, my sis and FB!
I'm not sure how long it took for Dr. P to get there but he and the nurses waited outside the room for me to get out of the tub when I was ready. I started feeling a little bit of pressure so I got out. The nurse chk'd me and listened to Raiden through a contraction just by holding the lead to my belly. No belts. I was 9cm. Dr. P broke my water. Then everyone left me to labor and push at my own pace. Except my friend of course.
It was 10:53 at this point. I called Scott and put him on speaker phone. With each contraction I would bear down just a little to try and get him to come down. I tried kneeling in the bed through a few but it was too uncomfortable and not working for me. I decided to get back out of the bed.
After a few contraction standing I began to feel a great deal more pressure and got back in the bed. I sat semi reclined resting on my left elbow. With the next contraction I grabbed my right ankle and the urge to GET THIS BABY OUT came over me! I told Scott he was almost here. My friend asked if she should get the dr and I shook my head yes as the next contraction overwhelmed any control that I had and I pushed Raidens head out. At that moment Dr. P and the nurses entered the room. One more push and Happy Birthday Raiden!!! Unfortunately they felt the needed to check him out quickly so I didn't get to cut the cord. Turns out there were no complications. Apparently the sight of poop really freaked my doctor out though! You'd think he'd be use to it!
I nursed him, then my friend went with him to the nursery for a few. We met back in my recovery room. She stayed until 1 or 2, then she needed to get some rest before her 7am shift. I didn't really like it but I was more prepared to be by myself this time and dealt with it. Raiden roomed in of course. Scott had to go into work so he didn't get to leave for his 8 hour drive until 3 or 4. His dad was driving him. I wasn't happy he wouldn't call in but he was worried about being a new employee. My mom and dad got to my house fairly early to relieve my friends daughter. They all came up to the hosp for a bit then my mom took the younger three home. My dad stayed until after dinner then he left and Joshua stay with me. Scott finally got there at about midnight. Our pediatrician was adamant that we had to stay at least 24 hours and since they wouldn't discharge me at night I had to stay a 2nd night. At a little after midnight they came and got him and said they needed to get his vitals. I dosed off after a bit... hours later he still wasn't back. I was very upset. I sent Scott to find out what was going on. They said they were waiting to get his hearing test. I was experiencing separation anxiety all over again and was sobbing. In the morning we had to wait on our pediatrician once again so we didn't get out of there until noon.
When I first got pregnant this time, I thought I would try a CNM in a hospital. I thought we would have these nice long appointments where we would get to know each other on a more personal level. This was not the case. I felt like I was just going to a female ob. I started getting nervous about what my experience would be like at this hospital. Afterall, I was at a VERY supportive hospital before and still had to deal with things not going my way. I asked Scott what he thought about doing a homebirth this time. He said he thought I was crazy. Then I had him watch Ricki Lake's documentary, The Business of Being Born. It completely changed his view. I think he'd be more afraid of taking me to the hospital at this point! I have found a wonderful midwife that spent 3 hours with me at our initial consultation. I am so exited to have an intimate labor with Scott in the comfort of our own home. To not have to get out of my nice warm tub to birth my baby. The only real pain I felt when in labor with Raiden was when I was being checked and when they were breaking my water. I may not have my midwife check me at all this time and we plan to let my water break on it's own. Hopefully I can achieve a true pain free birth! The waves of labor are not painful if you give in to them and do not fear them. Gods design is perfect if it is respected!
Birth Plan
Clark Regional Medical Center
August/September 2009
We realize that birth offers many surprises. We are more than willing to work with the staff should circumstances arise. These are our preferences if everything is going smoothly. We hope that you are willing to work with us. Thank you.
Labor:
Attendants: Dad and/or babysitter are the only ones permitted in the delivery room.
Setting: Please dim the lights and be as quiet as possible. Only ask me questions that others cannot answer.
Pain Relief: Please do not even mention pain medication, we will let you know if it becomes necessary.
IV: I prefer a heparin lock.
Position: I would like to be free to move about as I wish.
Cervical checks: Kept to a minimum and performed in a position other than flat on my back if in intense labor.
Monitoring: Continuous monitoring for a short time upon admission only please. A portable Doppler may be used if necessary thereafter.
Birth:
Position: I would like to try squatting/kneeling in the bed or whatever feels natural at the time.
Pushing: I would prefer to push spontaneously with contractions. Please no loud coaching , although quiet encouragement is welcomed.
Delivery: I would like to catch my own baby unless dad is present and wishes to.
Monitoring: Handheld Doppler only if pushing becomes prolonged please.
After Birth:
Suctioning: In my arms as necessary.
Drying: Please hand me a blanket and I will dry and stimulate my baby.
Cord cutting: Dad or I will cut the cord after it stops pulsing.
Placenta: Bed can be taken apart for delivery of placenta.
Bleeding: Please allow me to try breastfeeding before pitocin is administered.
Baby Care:
Newborn Assessment, ect.: Please do not take my baby from me unless necessary until after I have breastfed to help minimize my bleeding. Perform all assessments possible in my arms.
Eye Ointment: I would like to forgo the administration of eye prophylactics but if deemed necessary I would like to delay at least one hour.
Rooming: I would prefer my baby not be taken to the nursery unless absolutely necessary.
Warming: Skin to skin with a warm blanket covering both of us. I would be willing to take the baby’s temperature periodically and if it drops to low, allow him to be taken to the nursery for warming.
Weighing: I would like to accompany my baby when taken to be weighed.
Bathing: I would prefer to bath my baby in my room. Again, I will do temperature monitoring.
Visitors: Only allowed in mother-baby room once we are settled.
Discharge:
After PKU screening, about 24 hours after birth.
Please discuss with us any of our request that you are unable to accommodate.
Thank You,
It was edited slightly between Ronan and Raiden but not much. I took out the part where I wanted to give the first bath. I really wanted to, but it was just something I ended up compromising. I considered a homebirth but I had been through so much with my dr at that point I thought I'd present him with my plan and see how he reacted.... He didn't bat an eye. He did ask that I bring in some research on catching my own baby. I printed some material from this website http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/
And another I can't recall. I'm sure he wanted his butt covered "just in case".
Saturday, August 25th I started having a lot of braxton hicks contractions. They weren't very stong or consistant, and then they just stopped. The same thing happend on Sunday night and all day Monday. I had a doctors appointment Tuesday... he checked me and I was 4cm dilated, 80 % effaced, and the baby was almost at 0 station. He went ahead and stripped my membranes and sent me home. After I got home I walked, and walked, and walked some more. At about 8 o'clock my contractions were coming pretty steady. They still weren't intensifying and were only lasting about 30 seconds though. At midnight they started getting a little stronger so I started debating on calling my mom to come watch the kids.... I waited about an hour and then they started slowing down and I fell asleep. I really think that my anxiety over not having child care when it was time was causing my labor to stall. My mom was at least an hour and a half away. In hindsight we could have taken the kids to the hospital until she got there but that would have left me alone so I didn't consider it. I woke up at 6:15 to get the kids ready for school... I was still contracting but again nothing strong and nothing consistant. I told Scott not to go to work because I was afraid of my labor hitting hard and fast and him not making it home in time. At 11:00 I decided to call my doctor to see what he thought. He told me to come into the office so he could check me and see what, if anything was going on. We went straight over and found that I was now 5cm and the baby was at 0 station. He sent me over to the hospital to be monitored. I had to go back by the house to get my bags then we got checked in at 12:30. My doctor came in at 12:45 and said he didn't think it would be wise to let me go home so he suggested we break my water to get things moving along... I agreed. Scott and I then started walking around the hospital. At 1:45 my doctor checked me and I was 6cm... my contraction still weren't painful at all so we walked some more. It was really nice. We went to the cafeteria to get Scott some lunch. At 3 my contractions started getting more uncomfortable. We called to make sure my mom got the kids got off of the bus okay then headed back to the room. At 3:15 I got in the whirlpool. I was half afraid not walking would slow my labor down but I really wanted the opportunity to use the bath this time... with Jacob and Summer I didn't have time.
While in the tub it got to where I couldn't talk or listen though a contraction. At about 4 I had two really painful ones. I started to feel a little nausious and told Scott to call for my nurse. I had two more before I could get to the bed. I could handle them okay while I was standing but when I had one lying down, when she was getting ready to check me, I thought I was going to DIE! I was thinking I was probably just now hitting transitions and I was going to be about 8cm... I was complete with a little anterior lip. The nurses all rushed out to call my doctor. When the next contraction hit I told Scott to tell them I was pushing and I couldn't stop! He hesitated for a second not wanting to leave me then ran out told them and ran back. As he came back in the baby started to crown... I had rolled over onto my left side and was birting my baby all by myself! I reached down with the next contraction and supported his head as I pushed. The nurses came in when the head was about half out. Once I delivered the head one of the nurses reached in to do something... I'm not quite sure what but then the next contraction came and she back off as I pushed him the rest of the way out... as soon as I started pushing that time we noticed the cord was wrapped loosely around his neck so as he came out I held his head and shoulders in my left hand, let his body slip onto the bed and removed the cord with my right.
Ronan was born on August 29th at 4:18 into his mommy's loving hands... how awesome is that! He was 3 weeks and 2 days early, weighed 5lbs 14.5 oz and was 19 inches long! It was absolutely amazing!
The nurses just handed me blankets to dry and stimulate him with... he cryed right away. They offered for me to suction him but I was afraid of being to timid to get him cleared out good and he sounded a little gooky.. so the nurse did it while I held him. We waited a good 5 minutes or so for the cord to stop pulsing before they clamped it and Scott cut it.
My doctor arrived at a little after 4:30.
They still ended up taking him for a few minutes before giving him back to nurse. My original plan wasn't specific on this... I didn't ask then for the delay in eye drops either. While I ate dinner they took him to the nursery, got him clean up, weighed, and measured then brought him right back. Then it went downhill a little. They were packed that night so they said I would be staying in my labor room instead of a recovery room. At about 3 in the morning they came in and said they needed my room. I would be moving to a semiprivate room and Scott would not be allowed to stay with me. I was heart broken. I didn't want to stay alone so Scott went back to our house with the big kids and my mom came up to the hospital. He came back at about 8. Our pediatrician ended up delaying our departure a little but we were home for dinner!
My pregnancy with Raiden was very stressful. The economy went in the toilet. They took away Scotts OT and we started getting nervous about him getting laid off. He ended up getting a job in WV... The town he grew up in. We put the house up for sale. He started July 13th... I wasn't due until September 13th. We decided the kids and I would stay in KY until the house sold or the baby was born which ever came first. Scott stayed at his Grandmas house in town that no one lived in. July 23rd after my drs appointment the kids and I went to visit. We got a call that day that we got and offer on our house. We went house hunting when we got there and found one perfect for our family. God is good. Our closings were set tentatively for August 24th and 30th. School was starting in WV on the 24th so they would miss the first day or two. Now where was I going to give birth????!!! I NEEDED to have this baby by the 22nd. I prayed. I desperately tried to convince my doctor, if my cervix was favorable to break my water, if I hadn't gone on my own by then! At my appointment on the 17th I was 3cm and 50% effaced. He scheduled me to come back in on Friday, he would strip my membranes but it was too early to break my water. I prayed some more.
Tuesday was pretty hectic. The kids had dentist appts at 8am then I had to take them to the health department to get TB test for school in WV. Ronan wasn't feeling good so I packed him around the whole time.
Wednesday was delivery day. As soon as I got up I ran to Sav A Lot for a few neccesities. The closing on our house had gotten moved up so I thought I might be in Winchester another week.
When Ronan went down for his nap I let Joshua sit with him while I took Jacob and Summer to Walmart for some things for the house.
After Ronan woke up we all went to The Childrens Place to get new jackets and a few new school clothes. Ronan still wasn't feeling good so eventhough I brought the stroller in, I still had to pack him. We also ran to Old Navy, and we had to stop back by Walmart for something I had forgotten earlier.
When we were leaving there I got a call from my realtor that I needed to stop by and sign the new contract. I signed it at 4:55pm. The office is next to a health foods store so I stopped in to pick up a couple of things that might help get things going. I needed a substitute since Scott wasn't in town and I couldn't take advantage of his prostaglandins!! Lol. Evening primrose is suppose to do the same thing and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea is suppose to help strengthen Braxton Hicks. I was talking to Scott on the way home and told him that maybe it was a good thing the closing got postponed because I didn't think I was going to go into labor by Sat and at least I'd still have a house to stay in. I said "I'm just not feeling it". But God always has his own plan, maybe I just needed to stop stressing about it.
When we got home I laid on the couch and Ronan was wallering all over me whining. It felt like he was running a fever so I gave him some Tylenol. Then he cuddled up on my belly. I was on the phone with Scott and I had a contraction. It was stronger than any of the others I had had thus far and I felt it "lower". I couldn't even follow the conversation we were having. This was at about 5:45. It seemed I bought those herbs for nothing!
I let Scott go and told him I was going to take a bath. I had another contraction then my stomach just started feeling taught and my lower back was aching. I called my sis at 6:24. She was going into work and I just wanted to let her know that I thought I might be going into labor. Called Scott at 6:36.
I updated FB at around 6:40 then got in the tub. It did help my back and let my uterus relax, then I started having regular contractions. At 6:53 I txt'd my babysitter and asked her if she could come stay the night with me just in case. She said she was eating dinner with her fam and then she would be over. I txt'd my sis at 7 and told her I had had 3 contractions since I had been in the tub and that I was going to try going for a walk. Usually if you're in false labor walking will make the contraction stop. If it's real labor it will intensify them. I called Scott back at 7:19. I had a couple of more in the tub then got out.
I got dressed in my labor clothes I had bought. It consisted of a black cotton skirt and a black nursing, sleep bra with a turquoise tank over it. I hate it that I didn't get a pic:( I put some make up on just in case. I think at this point I knew but wasn't admitting it to myself yet. I txt'd my sis again at 7:24. I told her I was going for my walk and not to worry about me, my babysitter was on her way. Called Scott at 7:29 told him I was going to let my phone charge while I walked. As I walked the contractions just kept coming.
I called my babysitter at around 8 from the kids phone to see what was keeping her and to tell her I thought tonight was going to be the night. She proceeded to tell me that she was STILL eating and that her car had been overheating. I'm thinking to myself "so grab a gallon of water and come on!". Or find some other way to get here. I told her that she knew my labors didn't take long so she needed to let me know if she wasn't coming! I walked a bit more, stopped and talked to a neighbor, then decided I needed to make other arrangements.
My neighbor across the street is a nurse at the hospital I was going to be delivering at(not a labor nurse but a nurse). Summer plays with her little girl. She's lived there for years. We've always been neighborly and I thought maybe I could count on her in a pinch. At almost 8:30 I knocked on her door and asked if her teenage daughter could come stay the night with my kids. She asked how I planned to get to the hospital and I said I guess I'll drive myself or call a cab. She pretty much said over her dead body. That she would take me and stay with me. I said Thank you!
At 8:35 I txt'd my sis and told her these contractions weren't going away. That I was going to try and sit for an hour and time them. I tried but I couldn't sit. They were coming pretty much one right after another. At 8:46 she told me I should call the dr. I was like, not yet, I don't want to get there too soon!
At 8:52 My babysitter txt'd me to tell me she couldn't make it!!
At 9:01 I told my sis I was going to call the dr because they were coming so fast. Ironically I called my neighbor at 9:11. Scott called at 9:15 I told him we were about to leave. At 9:17 we left for the hospital. It's less than a 10 minute drive and I had 4 or 5 contractions on the way. The admitting lady asked how close together they were and I said about two minutes and my friend said "If that!!!"
I opted to not wear a hospital gown and stayed in my labor clothes. The nurse checked me and put the monitors on me just long enough to record a couple of contractions and Raidens heart rate through them. I was 4-5cm and 100% effaced. This was at about 10. I updated Scott and my sis. Then she gave me a hep lock just in case I needed pitocin afterwards.
My dr wanted to be called when I was 7-8 since he missed it last time. We ran me a bath in the whirlpool tub. I asked the nurse to check me before I got in. I was 7cm. I had been drinking apple juice and got sick. This was at almost 10:30. I got in the tub and it was heaven. Any tension that I had between contractions melted away. I updated Scott, my sis and FB!
I'm not sure how long it took for Dr. P to get there but he and the nurses waited outside the room for me to get out of the tub when I was ready. I started feeling a little bit of pressure so I got out. The nurse chk'd me and listened to Raiden through a contraction just by holding the lead to my belly. No belts. I was 9cm. Dr. P broke my water. Then everyone left me to labor and push at my own pace. Except my friend of course.
It was 10:53 at this point. I called Scott and put him on speaker phone. With each contraction I would bear down just a little to try and get him to come down. I tried kneeling in the bed through a few but it was too uncomfortable and not working for me. I decided to get back out of the bed.
After a few contraction standing I began to feel a great deal more pressure and got back in the bed. I sat semi reclined resting on my left elbow. With the next contraction I grabbed my right ankle and the urge to GET THIS BABY OUT came over me! I told Scott he was almost here. My friend asked if she should get the dr and I shook my head yes as the next contraction overwhelmed any control that I had and I pushed Raidens head out. At that moment Dr. P and the nurses entered the room. One more push and Happy Birthday Raiden!!! Unfortunately they felt the needed to check him out quickly so I didn't get to cut the cord. Turns out there were no complications. Apparently the sight of poop really freaked my doctor out though! You'd think he'd be use to it!
I nursed him, then my friend went with him to the nursery for a few. We met back in my recovery room. She stayed until 1 or 2, then she needed to get some rest before her 7am shift. I didn't really like it but I was more prepared to be by myself this time and dealt with it. Raiden roomed in of course. Scott had to go into work so he didn't get to leave for his 8 hour drive until 3 or 4. His dad was driving him. I wasn't happy he wouldn't call in but he was worried about being a new employee. My mom and dad got to my house fairly early to relieve my friends daughter. They all came up to the hosp for a bit then my mom took the younger three home. My dad stayed until after dinner then he left and Joshua stay with me. Scott finally got there at about midnight. Our pediatrician was adamant that we had to stay at least 24 hours and since they wouldn't discharge me at night I had to stay a 2nd night. At a little after midnight they came and got him and said they needed to get his vitals. I dosed off after a bit... hours later he still wasn't back. I was very upset. I sent Scott to find out what was going on. They said they were waiting to get his hearing test. I was experiencing separation anxiety all over again and was sobbing. In the morning we had to wait on our pediatrician once again so we didn't get out of there until noon.
When I first got pregnant this time, I thought I would try a CNM in a hospital. I thought we would have these nice long appointments where we would get to know each other on a more personal level. This was not the case. I felt like I was just going to a female ob. I started getting nervous about what my experience would be like at this hospital. Afterall, I was at a VERY supportive hospital before and still had to deal with things not going my way. I asked Scott what he thought about doing a homebirth this time. He said he thought I was crazy. Then I had him watch Ricki Lake's documentary, The Business of Being Born. It completely changed his view. I think he'd be more afraid of taking me to the hospital at this point! I have found a wonderful midwife that spent 3 hours with me at our initial consultation. I am so exited to have an intimate labor with Scott in the comfort of our own home. To not have to get out of my nice warm tub to birth my baby. The only real pain I felt when in labor with Raiden was when I was being checked and when they were breaking my water. I may not have my midwife check me at all this time and we plan to let my water break on it's own. Hopefully I can achieve a true pain free birth! The waves of labor are not painful if you give in to them and do not fear them. Gods design is perfect if it is respected!
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