Everett’s Story - Part One

This is the story of our 9th baby, Everett Virgil’s, conception, pregnancy, birth, and 1st week. I am breaking it up into parts:

Part One - Conception and Pregnancy
Part Two - Birth
Part Three - 1st Week

Conception has never really been easy for me. You can read about my journey with fertility issues and conceptions here, here, and here.

Deacon FINALLY started sleeping through the night at 11 months and my cycles came back almost exactly a month later. I knew that I wanted Deacon to have a close in age sibling, so I started charting right away. Since I have PCOS(polycystic ovarian syndrome), my cycles are irregular. The one after my 1st flow was 58 days. My app on https://www.fertilityfriend.com/ picked up ovulation, but my temps were kind of weird. My dip was at day 45, but my spike wasn’t until day 53. Then I started at just 7dpo. I was using one of the more expensive OPKs(ovulation predictor kit) that also measure estrogen. It had started showing “high” around day 22 and stayed that way with no LH surge for 11 days. I gave up. Our timing was still good, but my hormones just weren’t. 

The next cycle I decided to just get cheap LH surge strips off Amazon. It was $20 and had 50 LH strips and 20 pregnancy tests. 

I didn’t show any signs of fertility until day 42. The strip was negative that day. I tested again 2 days later and it was positive. We attempted conception both days. On day 45, Summer and I were at Whole Foods and I was having some discomfort and had a strong feeling I was ovulating(03/16). I started taking pregnancy tests at 7 dpo(days past ovulation) and got a Big Fat Positive on day 10! That conception date gave me an EDD(estimated due date) of 12/07/2018... 12 days after Deacons 2nd birthday 🎂

A little background for those who don’t know... Everett is our 8th live birth. My 9th pregnancy. Joshua was a hospital birth with the works: stadol, AROM(artificial rupture of membranes), epidural, and pitocin. Jacob and Summer were natural hospital births with the exception of AROM that I labored in the bed with. Ronan and Raiden were the same as Jacob and Summer, but I labored in the tub. Also with them I planned and did catch them myself. Actually with Ronan, my OB didn’t make it in time for the birth. Sierra was my 1st homebirth. It was a 19 minute precipitous labor after a few days of pre/prodromal labor that just felt like more frequent Braxton Hicks. My midwife didn’t make it to her birth either. Dani was my 10+3 week loss. I birthed naturally at home a week after finding out our precious baby no longer had a heartbeat. With Deacon, I planned(and partially paid for) to have a homebirth, but had a difficult pregnancy with kidney stones, glucose intolerance and an extremely irritable uterus. My water ended up breaking at 35+3 and I decided to go to the hospital. The labor went great, but the delivery ended up being a bit traumatic for me(baby was fine). 

Their birth stories can be found at these links: 

Natural Childbirth - Part One

Natural Childbirth - Part Two

Prodromal/Precipitous Unplanned Unassisted Home Waterbirth 

Deacon's Birth Story - Part Two  

That brings me to some unconventional decisions with Everett’s pregnancy and birth. I didn’t want to pay thousands of dollars to a midwife again to plan a homebirth that quite possibly wouldn’t be attended anyway. Since I am a healthy, knowledgeable woman, I felt I could do my own prenatal care as long as there weren’t any concerns. I tested my urine, weighed myself, checked my blood pressure and sugar, measured my belly, and listened for baby just like they would do at any prenatal. 

At around 14 weeks I became aware that not only was I still having some glucose intolerance (which never went away after Deacon’s birth), but I was also having some fasting lows. I started seeing an Endocrinologist to monitor me for this.

16 weeks

Before I was able to hear baby’s heartbeat at 17 weeks, I was able to hear and locate my placenta with my fetoscope.... pretty cool. 

At around 20 weeks, I started having more of an irritable uterus again. Crampbark helped, but I was having more discomfort with these Braxton Hicks so, I decided to go ahead and start seeing an OB to have my cervix scanned to make sure it wasn’t shortening or funneling which could cause preterm labor or my water breaking early again.

20 weeks

I hadn’t planned on having any ultrasounds or finding out the gender, but since they were going to be using ultrasound anyway I decided to go ahead and to a full anatomy scan at 23 weeks. I just requested no 3D/4D images and to do it as quick as possible. We found out we were having boy #6.

At my 1st appointment before the scan we decided to try progesterone shots to calm my uterus, but it was so painful and gave me a horrible migraine. I opted to discontinue them and put myself on more of a bed rest on top of the pelvic rest and no lifting that my doctor recommended. 

My endo expected me to get more insulin resistant and have less lows as I entered my 3rd trimester, but just the opposite happened. 

I read an article online that said sometimes low progesterone can cause hypoglycemia along with an irritable uterus. I asked my OB to check my levels. They did come back a little low. I decided to try suppositories instead of the shots this time. Unfortunately it didn’t help with the lows. They did seem to help a little with the contractions on a daily basis though. I was still having episodes every now and then, but it was manageable. 

At my 32 week appointment my OB suggested a growth scan the next week. I didn’t think it was necessary, but I wanted to have them check my cervix again so I agreed. Cervix was still looking good and baby was growing perfectly. 

Click here for Part Two

Here we grow again!

After we lost Dani, as soon as I got a negative pregnancy test, I started charting my cycles again. There is no right time to get pregnant after a miscarriage. Something will always be wrong. Some people like to wait 1 cycle, some 3(especially if they had a d&c), some after their due date, some after the anniversary of their loss. The fact will always remain though, that it will forever be wrong. The order of our kids are all messed up. If your miscarriage was your first pregnancy, next time around everyone who doesn't know will ask if this is your first. After they're born people will say, "Do you just have the one?" I'm on the other end of the spectrum. My last announcement said, "Seventh Wonder of the Fertig Family... Coming June 2016" What do I say now? Can I say baby #8 is on the way? I can say I have 6 kids on earth, 1 I'll meet in heaven, and 1 on the way. That's a mouthful. Later it'll be a little easier. 7 on earth, 1 I'll meet in heaven. We will be a family of 9 though, when it feels like it should be 10, on paper... It will feel wrong. I've pondered the idea that everything that happens for a reason. That it's all part of Gods master plan, but it's not. He doesn't want us to suffer. He'd love for everything to be perfect, and it will be someday. The fact is, in order for us to love, we had to start out with free will, which brought sin into the world, which brought suffering. He mourns with us. His master plan was to send Jesus Christ to saves us from eternal separation. So we can experience His perfectness someday. His plan for us on earth is that we will use our suffering.
Romans 5New International Version (NIV)
Peace and Hope
5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith,we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] boast in the hopeof the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

No matter what I say, there will be that twinge in my heart for Dani. It's something I'll carry until we meet in heaven. I didn't want to wait to start trying for another baby. I will never "get over the loss". Trying gave me something else to focus on, so I didn't get swallowed in my grief. I'm no spring chicken and I felt time was running out and my cycles are crazy.

My 1st cycle was 53 days and my second was 59. Each time I started was a kick in the gut. A painful, both physically and emotionally, reminder that where life should be, there was none. I didn't have my Dani and I wasn't getting a new baby in 7-8 months. This cycle was a little different, shorter. I ovulated on day 23 and my luteal phase it usually on 12 days, so it was setting up for a 35 day cycle... Almost normal. I had a lot of acne, so hormones were high. I was afraid we had missed it because I hadn't started taking my predictor tests yet, but I saw my temperature shift. It had been almost 3 days since.... You know :) A week went by and on day 7 past ovulation(dpo) I got anxious and took a pregnancy test that is suppose to detect 6 days before your expected period. It was negative, and so it was the next day, and the next 2 days, or so I thought. I had gotten my hopes up the 1st cycle, I was pretty sure we missed it the 2nd one and was right. I even missed when I ovulated that time, but in back tracking, I thought we had missed it by 3 days, just like this time. I just really expected to be negative again. So I was just going through the motions. It was first thing in the morning, I didn't even put my glasses on. As soon as I would see the control line I assumed I was right again and toss them back in the wrapper and back in the cabinet. A friend of mine had thrown her test in the trash once, right before I came over. She thought it was negative, but I pulled it out and it was a faint positive, so I never pitch them. I hadn't used this brand with my other pregnancies. I'd always used generic ones and I guess I was far enough along that you didn't have to wait the 2-3 minutes.

After the 4th test I gave up. I ran out and wasn't going to buy anymore. I figured I'd start by Tuesday. But I didn't. I was having a hard time going to sleep and started thinking that maybe I just tested too early. Then I started thinking about the ones I had already taken. I decided to go check them again... At 1:30 in the morning. Two of them were positive. I didn't think I was EVER going to get back to sleep. Scott was leaving for Detroit in the morning and I didn't want him to leave without telling him, so even after I did go to sleep it wasn't restful. The emotions ran the gambit. From disbelief, to not wanting to get my hopes up, to excitement, to guilt. I thought... What if it IS too soon. Am I dishonoring Dani by not waiting until the due date. But the way I see it due dates are arbitrary. None of my kids were born on their due dates. Dani died in my womb and was born November 24th 2015. Waiting wasn't going to change that. I honor Dani's memory continually. That is the rational thought. But I kept thinking, "I'm so sorry Dani".



The next day I told a few people who are close to me. I am so blessed to have different people to understand the different aspects of where I am and can support me uniquely. The tears came and I let them. I have learned to take grief like the tide. Let it well up and wash over you, then let it recede. I had read that sometimes after a few days, you can get evaporation lines on a pregnancy test that some people can mistake for a positive. I went to the store for more tests. I couldn't wait until the next morning, so I just waited until I needed to pee. It took a minute or so, but a faint second line started to appear. Still in denial, the next morning I pee'd on yet another stick hoping for a bright neon line. I'm definitely pregnant.

The next question is do I wait to tell people. I knew from the time I started trying that I would not wait the customary 12 weeks "just in case". I am trying to be a little bit cautious. I have read that early pregnancies can turn out to be chemical pregnancies where an egg is fertilized but doesn't implant and start to develop. Then there are cases of blighted ovums where it implants, the gestational sac and the placenta develop, but no embryo. These are still losses, but I look at these a little different, especially when it come to explaining to my little kids. I want to know there is a baby developing before I tell them I'm pregnant. I don't want an early ultrasound, so I am hoping that my midwife will agree to check my hcg levels every few days or so. That away I can see if it is progressing as it should. Then I'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief and celebrate the life within. Right now... I am cautiously optimistic.

I waited for my blood test to post this. My HCG was 173 on Thursday. I thought I was 15 dpo then but the range for then is 17-147 with an average of 59. I must have ovulated the day before, just after I took my temperature. My 1st positive would have been on 8 dpo... Which I think is the earliest it can be detected. That puts my due date at December 27th. My progesterone level was REALLY good. Anything above 10 is good and mine was 23, so they said there is not reason to redraw. I'm excited to start this new journey, come what may.

My Miscarriage Story - Part 1

This is my miscarriage story, but it starts many months before our baby passed away... I'm posting it as series in case someone just wants to read part.

Part 1 - Trying to Conceive
Part 2 - Pregnancy
Part 3 - The Decision- Natural or D&C
Part 4 - Limbo
Part 5 - The Process
Part 6 - The Burial and After (contains pictures of miscarried baby)
Part 1 Trying to Conceive

You can read about my struggles with fertility here. After Sierra was born, once again, I thought I was done having babies. Then something changed in my heart around January 2014. Sierra was potty trained and weaned and I started to feel that deep yearning. Up until that point we had been using natural family planning... and the occasional condom if we really weren't sure. It's kind of hard when your cycles are as sporadic as mine. You just learn to pay attention to your body. Not really reliable as form of birth control... but we were always open to an "oops".

Unfortunately when you have fertility issues what seemed to work for not getting pregnant... doesn't necessarily work for getting pregnant. Over a year went by and the next March my 38th birthday rolled around and I started to feel desperate. One element of NFP that I hadn't used before was charting my temperatures. I had thought about doing it when I was trying to conceive Ronan, but ended up getting pregnant before the start of my next cycle. I already had an account set up on http://www.fertilityfriend.com/. My next cycle this time started on April 17th. I also bought some ovulation predictor tests. Your body gives you some signs due do increased estrogen, so I could tell when to start taking the tests even-though I'm irregular. The tests will confirm that your body is gearing up by looking for a surge in hormones(LH), and when your window has passed, but can't confirm that you ovulated. That is where your temperature comes in. When using a sensitive thermometer, there is an obvious rise in your basal body temperature after ovulation from an increase in progesterone from the corpus luteum(the ruptured cyst that the egg was released from). Combining these things helps to get your timing right, but even then... you may not get pregnant. That cycle was 48 days and the next 80 long days. It was so frustrating because I knew that I was ovulating and timing it right. I had really gotten my hopes up because 10 days after I had ovulated I had some slight spotting and thought maybe it was a sign of implantation, but 3 days later I started.

It had been 4 months I decided I needed to take a break from all the charting. I couldn't keep myself from paying attention to the signals my body was giving me though. Again, about 10 days after I thought I had ovulated I had some spotting. I thought maybe this was just a new pattern for me, but by the 4th day with no period, I decided to take a pregnancy test.... it was positive!

I showed Summer the positive test first, then Scott, then the rest of the kids. I couldn't contain the good news. I messaged and called our family and closest friends. Then took an adorable picture to announce on facebook all on the 1st day we found out.