Oh the Anticipation!!!!

I'm already getting anxious and I'm only 24 weeks!!!! No matter how many babies I have, it's still soooo exciting!!! Especially since I'm looking forward to a homebirth this time. I downloaded 3 different playlist from iTunes. One is for early labor. It has a couple of Allison Krause songs... One of which is mine and Scotts song... When You say Nothing at All and one called I Will. I also found a track of her singing Baby Mine, from the Dumbo movie. The others are from a group called Celtic Woman... They are very angelic. I found a track of them singing You'll be in my Heart, from Tarzan. That was Joshuas favorite movie when he was a toddler. We bought that movie on VHS three time because he kept wearing it out. I can't count the number of times he would curl up in my lap when that song was on. It still brings tears to my eyes. I want the early part of my labor to be an intimate time for me and Scott.

My birth playlist I chose for the time I'm in the tub has more of an earthy, tribal feel to it. Ironically, one of the albums I bought is called water birth. The artist calls herself a tunnel singer. She uses acoustics along with her voice to create beautiful music. There are no words though. This album was recorded at a place called the Cistern... Not Sistine... Chapel. It's a two-million-gallon underground, water tank--at Fort Worden, near Port Townsend in Washington state. http://www.tunnelsinger.com/ptstory.htm  Pretty cool stuff. I also got the soundtrack to a documentary called Orgasmic Birth. Again the tracks I chose have no word... Just music accompanied by womens voices. 

My third playlist is for after the baby is born. It's mostly instrumentals of classic lullabies and Disney songs. My favorites are from Fred Molin. He uses a lot of different instruments. I have a couple that are guitar only and Amazing Grace on piano. Lastly, I have Louis Armstrong singing It's a Wonderful World and Iz's version of Somewhere over the Rainbow.

I play my first list when Scott gives me massages. I practice relaxation and visualize myself in labor. I've never really used a breathing "technique"... Just deep breathing, whatever feels right and relaxes me at the time. I mostly just go inside myself during a wave. At this point it's not as much about escaping from any pain. I don't relate pain to childbirth. It's  relaxing to allow my body to open up so that I can meet by new baby.

Everytime I take a bath I listen to my birth music. At this time the waves will be more intense when I'm actually in labor. It's labor land time! When I think back on past labors the only way I describe it is, other worldly, completely in the zone. Nothing else exists at this time. The water let's me be at one with my baby. Each wave swells then recedes like the ocean. In between I am relaxed but I don't quite come back completely to this world like in early/active labor. Then the most anticipated moment arrives. In the past my bliss has always been interrupted. As soon as I felt the least bit of pressure I was forced out of my own internal womb, into the cold. Where I was put in the least comfortable position to be checked DURING a wave by a nurse, then confirmed by my dr and my membranes ruptured. This time I get to just continue listening to my body. There is no question when it's time to push nor is it a decision. The overwhelming urge is incredible. Women are conditioned to fear this moment but I welcome it. It's such a relief getting to actually DO something rather than simply letting it happen. Did you know that when you actually feel the baby come down and begin to stretch your perineum, it is THE biggest surge of oxytocin, the love hormone, you will ever be able to experience in your whole entire life. This same hormone is what gives breastfeeding mom such a relaxed, good feeling when they nurse, further increasing their bond. AND it's the hormone responsible for the big "O"! That's why women who give birth naturally report such a euphoric state afterwards. Endorphines also come into play here. Scoring the winning touchdown in the superbowl can't compare to the high a woman receives from natural childbirth. 

Wow... The rest of my post is going to seem boring after that... I may need to go take a cold shower! Lol

Anyway, where was I... Oh yeah... Playlists. I listen to my baby one at night when I winding down to go to sleep. I hold my phone close to my belly so she/he can hear too.  I picture holding and nursing my new baby in my own bed in those first precious moments while I'm still filled with all those wonderful hormones!

I can't wait!! I've already gotten most of the stuff I need for the birth. All the diapers, tee shirts, and blankets are washed. Since we don't know the sex of this baby yet, I got a pack of little girly hats and ordered some newborn bows from eBay... 12 for 1.89. The rest is unisex. Plain white tshirts. I went through Ronan and Raidens stuff and picked out all the yellow and green outfits.  I bought an in bed co-sleeper. I didn't buy anything new for the main floor nursery. I wanted to fix it up though. I took some extra stuff from Summers room and decorated it girly. It'll be easy to switch back if it ends up being a boy.  

 I don't know what I'm going to do for the next three months or so! I think after being SOOO sick for the first 20 weeks, it's just now really sinking in. I feel great, feeling the baby kick and squirm. Not so big that I'm uncomfortable, but big enough to be cute! I guess I need to just sit back and enjoy it. With my history of going early I plan to put myself on a modified bed rest from about 32-34 weeks until 37 weeks any way. It'll be good that I got prepared early. The next milestone to look forward to is the begin of my third trimester. It's going to be a LONG 4 weeks!