Everett's Story - Part two

Part One of this series covered Everett's conception and pregnancy and can be found here. This post will cover the birth.

I knew I still wanted to have a homebirth. In a perfect world insurance would cover whatever kind of midwife you want and there would be more continuity of care between OBs and midwives when necessary. I like very hands off care during labor and birth, so paying thousands of dollars out of pocket for someone to watch me give birth just seems silly. I researched and prepared for all the what ifs and knew that transferring to the hospital was always an option. Some people call this an unassisted birth, others call it a free birth (which I prefer). 

On Wednesday, the 14th of November, at 36+5, I forgot to take my progesterone before bed. I was only suppose to take it one more day anyway and had missed doses before, so I’m not sure if it contributed or not.

We had been passing viruses around since mid September and I still had a cough. My upper stomach muscles hurt so bad. I told my friend Serah that I wasn’t ready for him to come yet. Not to mention I had been having a lot of neck and back pain. Despite this, I had been nesting and Summer helped me get my birth space ready. On Thursday I woke up still a little congested but my cough was better and my stomach muscles were feeling better.

I had a chiropractor appointment with a massage at 10:30. It was the best adjustment I had gotten in my neck and for the first time, I didn’t get sore afterwards. I stopped at the consignment store to get a little jacket suit for Everett since we aren’t using a car seat carrier this time.

While I was gone Summer had taken the littles to the park. Deacon had slept on the way there, but didn’t get a long nap, so around 4 o’clock he got real fussy and wanted to nurse. Because of all the contractions I had been having I had cut him down to once or twice a day and sometimes we’d even skip a day or two. I also kept the sessions short. I figured I was just hours away from 37 weeks though, so I went ahead and let him nurse to sleep.

Before we went to bed I was being neurotic about straightening up. Summer was making fun of me asking if I was going to do that every night until he gets here. I told her I knew it probably wouldn’t be that night, but who knows. I WAS having lots of Braxton Hicks. That was normal for me though.

I thought maybe I’d bounce on my birth ball while watching tv before bed at about 8. It made my uterus just tighten up without relaxing and was uncomfortable. This wasn’t new either. It would happen a lot when we’d go to Costco right after eating lunch.

Everyone had fallen asleep, but I was starting to wonder if maybe I was going into labor because the Braxton Hicks were still coming. I had had them for 4-5 hours before though so I wasn’t sure. At 10:15 I decided to start timing them.

They weren’t regular really, but even getting up would trigger another and they were starting to feel different.... lower. I got up to pee after one that felt stronger at about 12:15 and had a good amount of bloody show. I knew now I was dilating and this was it. I woke Summer up at 12:40.

She started running my bath. Once I got in she got the bed ready and made my labor-aid. I was just watching tv from the tub. At 2:00 it started getting more intense and I told her to go wake up Scott.

Deacon woke up just before 3 though and he went up to get him back to sleep and fell back to sleep. I started feeling nauseous around this time and thought maybe I was getting close to transition.

Around 3:30 or so I started getting really tired and started to doze between contractions. I thought the contractions might be spreading out some. I thought maybe I was complete and my body just needed to rest a little. This was different for me. At 4 I decided to get out of the tub and rest in the bed for a while. I threw up as soon as I laid down. Then got as comfortable as I could. That lasted an hour. I barely moved and slept between contractions.

At 5 I went back to the tub. I started feeling the contractions in my back an thought maybe he was posterior and that was why I wasn’t getting the urge to push. This is when it would have been nice to have a midwife on hand. I don’t regret freebirthing, but I did have a moment of weakness. I knew I could push him out sunny side up, but was afraid of pushing and not being complete. If I wasn’t complete and he wasn’t lined up just right... I could still have hours to go and I was tired! I told Summer I wanted to go to the hospital. I was mostly thinking I wanted an epidural and a nap! Lol But I also could have done like Emilee, the founder of the free birth society, and got checked and if I was complete.... just go back home and finish birthing. Of course it also entered my mind that I’d have him in the car. As all this was racing through my mind, I got sick again. When my stomach muscles engaged I felt a lot of downward pressure and decided I would give it one good push before I committed to going to the hospital. I had told Summer to turn off the camera, so I had her turn it back on. I waited for the next contraction and pushed him right out! He was born at 5:41 am. He was perfect.

I started having after pains pretty quickly but waited 30 minutes to be sure it was fully detached before I birthed the placenta. I knew I had a succenturiate lobe placenta (and extra lobe) and there can be a risk of retaining the extra lobe. It all came out perfect too. Then we got out of the tub. He nursed at about 1 hour old. We had considered doing a partial lotus birth and leave the placenta attached for about 24 hours or until the cord had dried enough that there was no need to tie it off. His cord was so short though, I decided to go ahead and tie it off and cut it. Summer did the honors. His stump fell off at 3 days old. We weighed him at some point, 6lbs 1.5oz.

For Part Three - Everett's 1st week click here

Deacon's Birth Story - Part One

Of course I couldn't dive into the actual birth without the journey there, so I've done it in parts again. If you want to skip straight to the birth click here.

Deacon is 3 weeks now. His birth definitely wasn't the serene home birth I had imagined. This whole pregnancy was challenging. He gained the title Rainbow Baby because that is what babies born after a loss are called. Something beautiful after a storm. That name has been amplified for Deacon for sure. 

A shortish recap is that I became pregnant after trying for a couple years in September of 2015. We got a positive pregnancy test on October 4th . November 17th we went in for our 1st midwife appointment. No heartbeat could be found. They did an ultrasound where we saw that our tiny baby had only grown to 10+3 weeks. It took another week for his/her body to be born naturally at home on November 24th. Here is my complete miscarriage story.

I got pregnant again with Deacon in April of 2016. At 10 weeks I started spotting. I went in for an ultrasound and saw that everything was fine. I spotted on and off until 18 weeks. More here.

Kidney stones were my next bump in the road. I started having mild flank and bladder pain at 12 weeks, the beginning of July. On September 11th, I had the worst pain ever and when to the ER. Morphine didn't touch it so they put me on a dilaudid pump. That lessened it but didn't stop it. I started having non painful contractions every 2-3 minutes, so they gave me terbutaline. It stopped the contractions and my pain went away as well. I had a few little episodes over the next month, but on October 15th, it got bad again. Not as bad as last time, but bad enough to send me back to the hospital. This time one shot of dilaudid knocked it out. Thank the Lord it never got that bad again, a few minor episodes, but my CT after he was born showed it had passed at some point.

At 28 weeks I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes for the first time. I was able to stay diet controlled, but it was hard. I'm not sure I would have made it without medicine if he hadn't come early. 

Next was the threatened preterm labor. At 33+4 I started having more contractions 2-3 minutes apart. I went to the hospital and they gave me terbutaline again to stop them. It slowed them down, but didn't stop them so they also gave me procardia. They sent me home with another dose in case it picked back up when the medicine all wore off. 

I'm going to insert a bit about my home birth/provider struggle. When I first found out I was pregnant again, I was going to go back to the same midwife I went to when I had my loss, but I just couldn't do it. It was still too fresh to go back there. The only other CNM in town was pregnant too, and due around the same time as I was. I made a few appointments with local CPMs, but decided to interview with a CNM out of Danville as well. I sent her a list of my questions and she was very through. I ended up canceling my other appointments and going with her. She asks that you also establish care with a provider with hospital privileges. I decided to go with the doctor in Stanford that signs off on her because I knew the he was supportive of homebirth. My other pregnancies and deliveries had been so smooth, I really didn't think I'd need him anyways beyond ultrasounds. But after struggling with GD and being afraid of going early on top of kidney stones and everything else (by this time it was November and I was dealing with all the emotions of it being a year since my miscarriage), I had decided to transfer care to a hospital midwife. Since I wasn't 35 weeks yet, it made the most logical sense to go to someone who had privileges at the closest hospital with a NICU. I went and saw two. I decided to go with the 2nd because I thought she would be able to empathize with me because she was a homebirther herself. In the office, she gave me a steroid shot to help develop Deacon's lungs in case he did come early. That same evening, at 34 weeks, I started having contraction again! My care did not go how I had envisioned it though.

I'm just not a big hospital fan when it comes to labor and delivery. First of all when I started having contractions, I didn't even get to talk to see the MW I had just transfered care to. The OB she works with was on call. I hadn't planned on having any vaginal exams during pregnancy, but this whole preterm labor thing had thrown me for a loop. Cervical checks are very subjective and don't really tell you much unless you are assessing change with the same person checking. In the office that day I let my new MW check me so if I went back into the hospital, she could tell if there had been any change. Little did I know, she wouldn't come to the hospital unless I was confirmed to be in labor. Homebirth spoils you. I had to see another hospitalist when I arrived. I had found out there is a test for preterm labor called a fetal fibronectin test, but being checked in the last 24 hours can give a false positive. He decided to go ahead and do it because if it was negative it would mean I wasn't in preterm labor, and wouldn't likely give birth in the next 2 weeks. If it came back positive, they would have to redo it because I had let my new MW check me that day... grr. Of course his shift ended and I had to see yet another hospitalist. They tried to stop my contractions with just procardia this time and it wasn't working. They thought maybe the steroid shot triggered them and wanted to keep me that day on magnesium while I got my 2nd dose. That was awful. I was on it for 12 hours. I couldn't get out of bed. They had to catheterize me, put air compressions on my legs to prevent clots, and check my blood pressure every 30 minutes. It makes you feel like you're burning from the inside out. Turns out the test they had done got messed up at the lab so we decided to just wait until the next day to redo it. The mag didn't stop the contractions, so before it ended, they put me back on procardia and gave me something to help me sleep, but it didn't work. The procardia made my blood pressure drop and my heart rate go up, making sleep impossible. The next day I thought I was going to finally get to see my midwife, but apparently it was her day off so the OB came in and redid the test. It came back negative. PHEW! The contactions had finally stopped overnight, so I went home with a diagnosis of irritable uterus.

The next day I called my homebirth midwife and asked her if she'd take me back :) We thought that I wasn't going to give birth until at least 36 weeks. At that point I could give birth at home or at the hospital in Stanford, if I thought I could make it. If I could make it until 37 weeks, I could have my homebirth no question. Everyone said I didn't need to be on bed rest, but I was afraid that if the contractions started again, that they would cause my water break. Turns out I was half right....

Thanksgiving fell on November 24th this year, Dani's birthday, the baby we lost last year. I decided I didn't want to go to Louisville this year. I wanted to stay home and mourn where I had birthed and buried my baby. We have a few families at our church that are from out of town and don't have family close by. Some of them couldn't make it home for Thanksgiving. Our church is a family. When we lost Dani, they prayed and they cried with me. They give me strength through Him. We invited over a couple of families with the understanding it would be nothing fancy. Summer prepared the turkey breasts. Scott and Joshua did the rest. We used paper plates and throw away serving trays. What little dishes were dirtied, were washed by Jacob. Summer had cleaned the house in the days prior. I am truly blessed. I took it easy. I even did the shopping through Kroger's click list. It was a good day. I went to bed with no contractions. 

Read Part Two Here 

Deacon's Birth Story - Part Two

To read Part One click here

I woke up on November 25th, 2016 at 8am with no contractions. I took my blood sugar as normal for the last 7 weeks or so. It was just a little high, so I thought I'd go wash my hands and take it again. When I stood up, I felt fluid soak my panties. I was 35 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I knew I hadn't peed myself. I'm 39 and have gone through seven pregnancies, this one with kidney stones.. I've peed myself before. I started looking for dry panties with toilet paper tucked between my legs. I woke Scott and told him I was pretty sure my water broke. I knew it had, but there's always a little doubt. I felt more fluid come out and remembered I have depends. I got on the couch on my left side. I was trying to keep the fluid in and I didn't want the contractions to get stronger. I was having a few, but I wasn't in labor yet. I called and texted my midwife. Then called the hospital in Stanford to let them know I was on my way in. My MW offered to come in with me for labor support, but I declined. I figured it would all be smooth sailing and I'd have a baby in a couple of hours. Not quite... 

We got to the hospital(an hour away) at 10am.The 1st stage of labor was fine. I didn't want to be checked when I first got there because of course I was GBS positive and I didn't really want to risk pushing that bacteria up into my cervix without knowing if I'd get enough antibiotics in. I got the 1st dose at around noon. They were really good about me declining the eye ointment. The nurse was also very nice about me not wanting to be checked, but I let curiosity get the best of me. After the antibiotics finished, I was going to walk and if the contractions picked up I wanted a reference point to know if I was progressing. I knew being in the hospital with ruptured membranes was putting me on the clock, and I was feeling the pressure. I was about 3cm. 

We walked for about an hour. Scott went and got Arby's for lunch. I ate half Summers sandwich :) When we got back to the room I started bouncing on a ball. 
waiting for my ball
I could trigger some decent contractions there, but still not in labor. At about 4 they did my 2nd dose of antibiotics. I went ahead and laid down to rest my back and legs while we waited for it to finish. Then it was back to walking. 

We walked for close to another hour. The hallway made a square it took about 3 minutes to get around it. I started having a contraction about every lap. We went back to the room. They had my dinner waiting for me. All liquid, but better than what most hospitals will feed you during labor, which is nothing but ice chips. I had the chicken broth. The other stuff was sugary: juice, jello, sherbet, 7up, so I skipped them because I didn't want to chance a glucose spike and Deacon's insulin be too high and his sugar crash after birth. I asked to be checked at 5:30 to see if the contractions were doing anything. I wanted to get in the tub before it got intense. I was 4.5 cm. Progress. Finally in labor! 

I got in the tub and munched on some cashews. I browsed FB for a while then Summer and I watched watched a little Supernatural on our laptop :) At about 8 I guess, they started me on another dose of antibiotics. This is the part I don't like about being in the hospital though. I start feeling like a watched pot. They'd say, "You'll let us know as soon as you start feeling a change, right?" So like a good girl when it finally started to feel just a little more intense... like I couldn't focus on Sam and Dean anymore... I asked to be checked. I got out of the tub and found out I was just 6cm. This was at about 8:30 maybe. Time starts to get blurry. But it goes into fast forward from here.

I got right back in the tub.  I started a low moan to help me focus on opening and to stay relaxed. The doctor, who by the way ended up not being the doctor I had established with (he was out of town for Thanksgiving), came in shortly after and asked if he could check me while I was still in the tub. I was 7. Summer was by my side the whole time. My belly was sticking out of the water a bit, so she would pour water over it during a peak. Then I had 2 contractions that were really intense and I didn't feel like my uterus was relaxing all the way in between.

I got out of the tub and asked to be checked again at 9. When I walked out of the bathroom, it felt like there were a million people in the room, all staring right at me. My anxiety was rising. The doctor was there with his tool box of supplies. 

He checked me. I was 9, but Deacon wasn't liking these contractions. His heartbeat was dipping after them and he was still high in my uterus. I got out of the bed to try to get him to come down. I heard the doctor say to grab the vacuum. My anxiety went up another notch. After a few contractions, I started to feel a little more pressure and asked him to see if I was complete at 9:11. He said to be prepared, that if Deacon kept showing signs of distress and wasn't coming down, they would have to help him out with the vacuum. I was complete, but he was still high, so I didn't have the urge to push. His heart rate started dropping again, but he did better when I was standing, so I got back out of the bed. In hindsight, I should have squatted or got on all fours in the bed. When I stood back up, I'm not sure if I started having an anxiety attack, or my sugar was low, or what, but I started feeling a little faint. I started thinking I should just try pushing, but of course as soon as I laid down, Deacon's heart rate went down. They had me turn onto my left side. I was torn between not wanting to "purple push" and deprive him of even more oxygen and just trying to get him out. I was grunting through the contractions, looking for the urge to push, but it wasn't happening. They had me turn over to my right side and gave me oxygen.  The doctor was checking me during every contraction, which was super painful, and distracting from my task. I sort of yelled/cried out after one, "why do you keep doing that!?" He said he needed to know if I was making any progress because Deacon heart rate wasn't coming back up between each contractions and we may need to act soon. There wasn't an in between at this point though, they didn't feel like they were really going away completely before another peak would start. I decided in my mind I was going to have to either push with everything I had and get him out, or give up, and let them vacuum him out. So with the next contraction I held my breath and pushed. I felt him come down and kept pushing until his head was out. I asked if he had his cord around his neck, which he did pretty tightly.  The doctor looped it off then I reached down as I pushed the rest of his body out and pulled his slippery body to my chest at 9:34. I did it. 

He was breathing, but his heart rate was still low, so I let them take him across the room to get a little ventilation and oxygen after Summer cut the cord. 

His apgars were 6, 8, and 9... so he recover quickly and was back in my arms in less than 15 minutes. 

I took his blankets off as soon as I got him and put him back to my chest. I had let the doctor manage my 3rd stage, by pressing on my fundus and putting just a small amount of traction on the cord, mostly because I knew the sooner the placenta came, the sooner the room would clear and I could relax with my baby. It came quickly, with minimal bleeding. 

We cuddled and nursed for over an hour then Summer got to hold him at 11:12. 

We took him to the nursery to be weighed and get his Vitamin K and Hep b shots. I don't really think hep b is necessary, but we fully vaccinate and don't think it's worth finding a new pediatrician for. He was 4 lbs 15 oz and 17 3/4 in. His blood sugar was also great.

Summer took the 1st shift to let me try to get some rest a little after midnight. She held him skin to skin in a babywearing shirt. I probably slept for an hour. She woke me at a little before two.

I fed him, changed him and cuddled him until 4 something, then woke Scott (he had been asleep since midnight) for his turn to hold him skin to skin. I slept another hour and a half or so, until about 6. 

I fed and changed him, then woke Summer back up for another cuddle. This went on most of the next day. I slept an hour or so here and there when I could. Scott left at around 10 to pick up the other kids minus Joshua, who had to work. My parents came the same time as them. Everybody took a turn, then were ready to go, which I was thankful for. 

Scott stayed home the 2nd night to be with the littles. Summer stayed with me. I had napped a lot during the day, so I let her get a little more shut eye that night. ;) I did wake her up to go with me to get him reweighed. Instead of losing any, he gained 2oz. I had told them my milk had already started coming in! 

His last hurdles as a 35 weeker the next day, to get to come home, were his bilirubin and car seat tests. He passed both but his bilirubin was a little elevated so we had to follow up with our pediatrician the following week. He ended up on a biliblanket for one night, but it has been slowly coming down. At his 2 week check up it was 12 something. They'll check it again at 3 weeks. He's still been gaining weight like a champ. He was 5 11.5 at 2 weeks :)

Everything I went through was so worth it. Deacon is awesome and perfect in every way. Of course I wish that he could've cooked a little longer. Maybe he wouldn't have had such a hard time at the end of my labor, and maybe he wouldn't have had to have had his poor little foot lanced so many times, but he is my rainbow and for that, I am grateful. God is so good. Maybe him staying in the womb longer wouldn't have changed those things. Maybe it was God's intervention for me having a homebirth. It apparently wasn't meant to be this time. I think I knew deep down. I always write an in depth birth plan and this time I just couldn't.

Just pictures from here that Summer took :) 

Prodromal/Precipitous Unplanned Unassisted Home Waterbirth

It started on Friday, April 29th. My mom and I took two laps around the block. When we got back I started having a lot of Braxton Hicks. We always watch a movie with our kids on Friday nights so we started watching Inception. I started thinking maybe this was the beginning of labor although the contractions weren't very strong at all yet. I went upstairs and ran my straightened through my hair and put on a little make up... Just in case. I sent my Midwife a text to give her a heads up. While I was up on my feet is stopped though. So I retired to the couch and movie. They started up again. After the movie I cleaned up the house a bit and it stopped again. I went to bed and slept better than I had in weeks!

My wonderful hubby and daughter brought me breakfast in bed at about 9:30. We went for another walk at about noon but only once around. Then at 2 twice around.... Then we went to Walmart and Tractor Supply. I was having Braxton Hicks.... Or I guess pre labor contraction all day but nothing significant. My wonderful friend Ferne brought me some baby girl clothes just in case, at about 6. We sat around chatting until 7:30. After she left we took 2 more laps!  I bounced a little on my exercise ball I had picked up earlier. Played on my phone and went up to go to bed around 10.

I sent my Midwife a text at 10:55 to tell her I was contracting again but that it would probably go away again. I mostly was giving her an update on another little issue I had been having. We shot a few back and forth. I told her I was going to time the contractions for a bit even though they weren't very strong still. This was 11:19. They started coming every couple of minutes so I sent her another text. She told me to get up and walk around or get in the bath to see if they stopped. I stood up at 11:25... Had a pretty strong one and felt a pop. At first there was no fluid but another came a minute later with just a small gush. Told my Midwife and she headed out the door. I woke Scott... He asked if he could lay there until she got there. I said, "No you have to get everything ready!" I started the bath while he attempted to make the bed up. I told him to get the cameras. First he got the video camera but forgot that I had told him.... And written in the birth plan... That it needs to be plugged in to work bc the battery is shot! So he went to get the charger. I had another contraction, they were right on top of each other, I felt the urge to push this time. I yelled to Scott to get back in there or he was going to miss it. He got in there in time for the next one and the head emerged. I told him to grab the other camera. I reassured him that everything was fine, one more push and we'd have a baby. Then the rest of her was born!!! The time stamp on the picture was 11:44!!! I got my April baby!

We tried to stay calm while Scott fumbled with cell phones. She made a few short cries but I really couldn't tell if she was breathing in between or not and seemed gunky. Scott got my Midwife on the phone. She said to lift her bottom higher than her head a little and sure enough the gunk came rolling out! I looked then to see she was a girl. Of course this was a very short amount of time and the cord was still attached, pulsing, and giving her oxygen. I had Scott go wake my mom to tell her.

She started rooting so I started to try to nurse, then Joshua came up so I covered up. She started rooting again while he went to get Summer and Jacob. I offered again and she latched right on! This was at 11:55. My midwife arrived at 12:15. She stayed latch until 12:30! 15 minutes later the placenta was delivered and I cut the cord.

We moved to my bed, everyone got to hold her and her newborn assessment was done. AMAZING!!!!!

Birthday Cupcake via Breastmilk

How and Why we do it!

Psalms 127 3-5

3 Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. 4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. 5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

But Seriously, why so many?  This question has burned me for months now. It came from someone with zero kids! Why is it that others feel to judge someone elses life choices. I don't care how many or few kids someone else has. 

This is it, right? Again, why do you care... I don't ask for help from anyone, heck I turn down babysitting offers! Scott and I don't like waisting money on going out. We'd rather spend our weekends playing games and watching movies with our kids. We wouldn't keep having them if we didn't like spending time with them! A date once or twice a year is plenty and my mom can provide that.. She doesn't judge me. 

We never really discussed how many kids we wanted. Like I wrote about previously.. Drs told me I would probably be infertile. They said I have Polycystic Ovaries, high LH levels and low FSH levels. Although I'm not overweight, nor do I have diabetes, therefore I don't fit the bill for PCOS. I could probably count the number of periods I've had in my whole life. We decided then I would quit taking birth control... I was 18. Two years later, I got pregnant. I did not enjoy pregnancy or the birth, thought one was enough. 

Then I became a SAHM. Joshua was getting big, I got an itch. Just when we thought it wasn't going to... It happened again. Almost exactly two years after I gave birth to Joshua. Still no birth control. I discovered the joy of natural childbirth. 

We didn't have time to even think about it before Summer came along. At first I thought I wanted another right away. Then I changed my mind. Said I was done. Got an IUD. That lasted about 3-4 months. Then I changed my mind again!

This time it took 4 years. I knew I wanted just one more.  15 months later I got my wish. Again during the pregnancy I said, This is it, I'm done! Shortly after the birth I began to change my mind again. A year later, yes ,I'm pregnant AGAIN. 

So in answer to some of the questions (stole this off the Internet):

Yes, we know how it happens, and we enjoy it very much.

No, we are not Catholic or Amish.

If you think our hands are full, you should see our hearts!

So are we done? Today I say yes. The first half of this pregnancy was horrible. I don't think I can do it again. I've been trying to talk Scott into a vasectomy. He's chicken and doesn't want to. I'm NOT getting my tubes tied, nor will I use hormones to mess with my already messed up hormones. So as of right now, he's not touching me after this baby is born! I think he'll cave on the V. We have 8 chairs at our kitchen table and 8 seats in our van. When this baby starts kindergarden, Joshua will be starting college. I think we are complete!

But I couldn't imagine my life any other way. All seems right in our universe with God at it center. I don't feel overwhelmed. In fact, I was much more stressed when I only had three. We have a great routine, that runs smoothly. 

Eventhough we aren't at the peak of our income. We are probably better off financially that ever because we are living inside our means. We've paid off all of our credit cards. We got rid of our satellite bill. We cut our cell bill by $60 a month. We dont have a land line. We started cloth diapering. We haven't used paper plates in over a year. We pay our kids for good grades, make them save some longterm, then throughout the year, if they want something, they have to pay for it out of a shortterm savings... Even a school dance! Like I said earlier, we don't go out waisting money. We budget. They get a certain amount for their birthdays and a certain amount for Christmas. They have plenty, they don't want for anything. 

We don't do a lot of organized extra curricular activities. They like gymnastics and tumbling, so we have a trampoline, low bar, tumbling mats, and floor beam. Summer wanted to learn some ballet so she bought herself a tutu, some ballet shoes, and some instructional videos, she uses her gym bar. They have a guitar, keyboard, flutes, and harmonica. I went online and printed sheet music, with notes and guitar tabs. We learned a little together. They like to swim, so we've always had a pool. Except our 1st summer here. Once they can do school sponsored sports, if they want to join, that's fine. Joshua likes playing football on the playground but doesn't want to participate in organized games, that's fine too. 

So in answer to the last question everyone has: That's how we do it! As far as why: because we want to and we can; because God let's us!

Homebirth Birth Plan

I decided to write a birth plan for everyone that is going to be a part of the birth and in case of a transfer. I figured all my visualizations are useless unless everybody is on the same page. This will also minimize me having to make any decisions for that day and keep everyone from asking me questions. It will be especially beneficial for my kids and my mom. It will also be good in the event my midwife can't make it and a back up has to come.

Even though my plans sound VERY specific, I know through experience, everything won't go according to plan. But I also know how powerful faith and visualization is.  So here it is:

Homebirth Plan

Scott-

Early labor (up to 5cm) 2-3 hrs

If you are at work when I go into labor, remind me to eat an orange, pick the kids up from school and come straight home. Make sure starting at 36 weeks, April 20, you get gas on the way to work.

Get plastic sheet(shower curtain) out of supply box(w/pink lid), put it on bed over gold fitted sheet. Put red fitted sheet out of supply box over plastic sheet. Remake bed. Fold down covers to foot of bed.

Clean tub with Scrubbing Bubbles(under sink). Make sure to rinse well and put rag in hamper hanging on laundry room door.

Plug in my iPhone on your side of bed. Turn on Labor Playlist. The iPod app is in the movies/tv folder. Be sure to press shuffle.

I'll probably be showering, getting pretty at this time. Video the clock briefly then a short clip of whatever I'm doing and everybody else. Feel free to talk to the camera but not direct to me. Take some still shots too.

We can then lay in bed and relax a bit before it gets intense. Eat a tictac and give me one. Rub my back/neck/belly... Like we have practiced. You can use the remote for the still camera to take some pics.

If/when I find the bed uncomfortable, I will move to the rocking chair. Make sure i have plenty of pillows. You can rub my feet then... With the lotion on the table next to the chair.  Video/pics update.

Active Labor (5-7/8cm) 1-2hrs

When that playlist is over we should call the midwife(melissa) and go for a walk. Video the clock and give an update before we go. Remind me to pee and take a water. Summer can come with us and take some pics with my phone along the way. We'll just walk the back road a time or two. If it is nighttime, I will make the birthday cup cakes during this time.

By the time we get back I'll probably be ready to get in the tub. If Melissa is there have Summer run the bath.  Make the water pretty hot, it'll cool down before the baby gets here. Video the clock and update. Video/take pics of Melissa taking my BP, listening to the baby, and setting up.  

Transition/Birth (7/8cm to Baby) 1hr

Put my phone on the edge of the tub, turn on the Birth Playlist with shuffle. Light the candles on the back of the tub. Make sure a towel is hung by the shower and it goes to the wall. If more light is needed, turn on light in laundry room  Video the clock and update. Set up cameras in the bathroom.  Make sure you take lots of pictures. Check how much video time we have left frequently. If it gets close to five minutes, flip the disk or change it. Extras are in the front zipper of the camera bag. Keep it plugged in for the most part.  While I'm in the tub keep me cool with cool rags, a hand held fan, and juice pops that Summer will provide. You can play on your phone some, no sound, no headphones.

Hopefully by the time the playlist is over we will have a baby. If not, suggest I stand for a bit and use the bathroom. Restart playlist. Video clock, update and take still shots.

When I say it's time to push make sure you are videoing. Ask if you have time to put in a new disk.

After the birth turn on the Baby Playlist. Video and take lots of pics! Then set everything back up in the bedroom.

During Labor you can kiss me as much as you want as long as you have a tictac, offer them to me too. No coffee until after the birth.  While I'm standing you can offer for me to lean on you through a wave, make sure if I have my arms on your shoulders you lean down a bit so I'm not on my tip toes. Massage me between waves only, do not pet my head at anytime. You can brush my hair with a hair brush. Say wave or opening instead of contraction. Uncomfortable instead of pain. And intense or strong instead of hard.

Summer

When mommy goes in labor put fruit, granola bars, nuts, crackers, and any other snack in a basket. Put waters in the little cooler by the shoe cube and put ice in. Bring both upstairs. One of your jobs will be to ask daddy,the midwife(Melissa), and her assistant(either Candace or Shanty) if they need anything and get it for them if they do.

After you've gotten snacks upstairs and Daddy and I are ready, we want to rest in private for about an hour. Then if it's light outside we will go for a walk. Take my phone and take pictures along the way. We don't need to be looking at you or the camera. Take some from behind us, some in front. Some while walking, some during waves when we stop.

If it's nighttime, we will make birthday cup cakes during this time.  

You can stay upstairs if you want after Melissa gets here. If it's light out this is when Granny will make the cup cakes. You can chose which you want to do or go back and forth.

Once I get in the tub it will be extra quiet time. Make sure to whisper, ask Daddy every now and then if I need a juice pop. You can come in the bathroom or hang out in my room quietly. Don't ask how long it's going to be, only God knows. Don't ask if it hurts, we have talked about this, it can get very uncomfortable, that's why I need to focus on relaxing and opening up so the baby can come out. If I moan or make noises it doesn't mean I'm not ok, that helps me open up too.  I might get sick when it gets close to time, thats normal. Sometimes, while pushing the baby out  poop gets in the water, Melissa will scoop it out with a net if that happens. Be aware of where the video camera is, don't get in front of it.

After the baby is born we will wait for a while before cutting the cord, hopefully until the placenta is delivered. I will have to push a little again to get it out but it's not like pushing the baby out. The water will get some blood in it but that's ok it doesn't mean it's dirty. We will get out after the placenta comes and the cord is cut.

After I have breastfed, Melissa has checked the baby, measured and weighed, and Daddy has held him/her, you can. No bugging or fighting. You and Granny can then go make me something to eat. After everyone has had a turn and Melissa leaves I might need to take a nap with the baby. I'll let you know when you can come back up. Don't bug.

The 1st morning after the baby is born, you and Granny can bring me breakfast in bed, scrambled eggs, peaches, grits, and bacon with coffee and OJ.

I love you! You are such a big helper!!!

Granny

When I go into labor you can help Summer with her prep list. If Scott is home he will prepare upstairs. If not here is the list...

Get plastic sheet(shower curtain) out of supply box(w/pink lid), put it on bed over gold fitted sheet. Put red fitted sheet out of supply box over plastic sheet. Remake bed. Fold down covers to foot of bed.

Clean tub with Scrubbing Bubbles(under sink). Make sure to rinse well and put rag in hamper hanging on laundry room door.

Scott and I want about an hour of private time in the beginning.

If it's light out, you will make the cup cakes when we get back from our walk in case Summer wants to help.

If it's dark I'll help make them with you guys.

Once I'm in the tub you and the boys are welcome to come upstairs and hang out in the bedroom as long as they are being good. Just send the big boys downstairs by themselves if you want. If they are occupied downstairs Ronan can stay down with them or even by himself. A brief visit in the bathroom to to see what's going on is fine. For the big boys make sure I'm sitting up in tub, not reclined or standing. As long as Ronan and Raiden aren't throwing fits they can come in and out as they please. If they get too out of hand even downstairs, take them outside. I'll have Summer yell for you when it's time.  Be aware of where the video camera is.

Raiden naps at 1:00 and goes to bed at 8:00. If I'm in labor, put him down in the main floor nursery. Ronan doesn't nap and can crash wherever. Don't worry about making the kids go to bed. They can miss school the next day. They can eat when and what they want, just make sure they pick up after themselves. We won't worry about chores that day either.

Read Summers plan for more info on the actual birth, the big boys will need to stay in the bedroom. If the water is murky enough they can come in directly after, but they will need to go again while I initiate breastfeeding.

After everyone has held him/her, you and Summer can go make me something to eat. A turkey sandwich with cheese and mayo, a pickle, and an oriental salad would be good.

The first night after the birth I'd like you to sleep in our room so you can take a holding/rocking shift if need be.

Thank you sooo much for all your help!

Joshua and Jacob

There will be no school or chores on delivery day. You can eat when you want, what you want as long as you pick up after yourselves. You can help make cup cakes but you can't eat them until after the birth. You are not to ask Mommy or Daddy for anything or to settle any disputes, direct everything to Granny. You may go on our walk with us as long as you are good. If you are not you will be sent directly back to the house. Summer will be in charge of taking pictures with my phone. If you want to take pictures Jacob can bring your DS, or your camera. Joshua can bring your DS, or Daddys phone.

You can come upstairs once I'm in the tub but you have to be super quiet. Whisper in my room. If you want to come in the bathroom to see what's going on, ask granny to check to see if I'm covered. No talking in the bathroom. If you act up you will be sent downstairs. Help granny with Ronan. If he need a game or something to eat, Joshua needs to do it. If he needs a show or milk, Jacob needs to do it. Be aware of where the video camera is, don't get in front of it.

Don't ask how long it's going to be, only God knows. Don't ask if it hurts, we have talked about this, it can get very uncomfortable, that's why I need to focus on relaxing and opening up so the baby can come out. If I moan or make noises it doesn't mean I'm not ok, that helps me open up too. When it's time for the baby to actually be born, you need to wait in the bedroom.

After the baby is born we will wait for a while before cutting the cord, hopefully until the placenta is delivered. I will have to push a little again to get it out but it's not like pushing the baby out. The water will get some blood in it but that's ok it doesn't mean it's dirty. We will get out after the placenta comes and the cord is cut.  I will be trying to nurse during this time, you can wait in the bedroom.

After I have breastfed, Melissa has checked the baby, measured and weighed, and Daddy has held him/her, Summer gets to hold the baby first, then Jacob, then Joshua.  No bugging or fighting. After everyone has had a turn and Melissa leaves I might need to take a nap with the baby. I'll let you know when you can come back up. Don't bug.

We appreciate your help and good behavior on this special day.

Midwife

I will call when I can't sit or lie through a wave. This will probably only be 2-3 hours into labor. With my history of relatively quick labors, I would appreciate it if you would come at this time.

I am going to try to wait until after you arrive to get in the tub. If I am not in the tub, you may check my cervix to see where I'm at. Either way, you may check my BP and the babys heart rate at this time.

All of my supplies will be in a rubbermaid tote with a hot pink lid in my bedroom which is upstairs through the kitchen.

I will be wearing a nursing sleep bra while in the tub. I want to be able to share my birth video with minimal editing and allow my boys in and out during my labor. I would like for Scott and I to be left alone for the most part with periodic visits from my mom and kids.

If my labor lasts longer than I anticipate and I want to get out of the tub for a while and move about my room/house or go for a walk, my bra and towels can be thrown in the dryer as long as I'm not in the bathroom.  You may also assess me again at this point if you feel it is necessary.

I do not want my membranes ruptured unless they are visibly bulging and I ask for them to be ruptured.

I do not want to be checked to see if i am fully dilated. I want to push when my body tells me to. I don't want any coaching during this stage. I will guide the babys head out and check for a cord. I will lift the baby gently to the surface and then to my chest.  Only take my BP or listen to the baby if pushing becomes prolonged. Please be aware of where the video camera is, as not to obscure it.

Given the water hasnt gotten too cool we will remain in the tub after the baby is born. I will initiate breastfeeding to facilitate the delivery of the placenta. I would like to wait for the placenta to be delivered before cutting the cord. I want to cut the cord myself. We can then get out of the tub.

Unless labor becomes prolonged I will not be sitting or lying, unless in the tub. All fours has not been a comfortable position for me in past labors. If I've been in same position for over an hour, simply suggest that change. I will find something else comfortable. Unless you feel the situation/position of the baby warrants something specific. I also have not found counter pressure comfortable in the past. Although I have never experience back labor. If you need anything, my daughter, Summer, or my mom, Lillie, can get it for you.

Use words like  wave or opening instead of contraction. Uncomfortable instead of pain. And intense or strong instead of hard.

I only want to be transferred to the hospital if I am hemorrhaging, having blood pressure issues that can not be controlled, or the baby is in distress. Not for a stalled or slow labor. If we do transfer I want to bring with us my supplies I already purchased and be sure the hospital uses them.

Transfer Birth Plan

Please be aware that I am transferring from a homebirth and be respectful of that.

We have brought the majority of our supplies with us.  These include:

15 23"x36" economy underpads
1    12 pack maternity pads
1    8 oz peri-bottle
1    newborn cap
1    sterile 3 oz. bulb syringe
2    sterile plastic cord clamps
1    scrub brush with povidone iodine
6    4x4 gauze sponges
1    disposable brief

I do not consent to a C-section unless the baby is in distress, or I have uncontrollable bleeding or blood pressure issues.

Labor

I do not want to be offered pain medication or an epidural unless for a c-section. I understand the baby and I will need continuous monitoring or I wouldn't be here. I would still like to be free to stand next to my bed to labor if I wish. I consent to an IV, but only want to be given fluids unless medically necessary and explained. My cervix can be checked upon arrival and later if either of us remain in distress. I do not want my membranes ruptured unless they are visibly bulging. I do not want to receive pitocin to augment my labor.

Birth

I do not wish to be put in stirrups. I will begin pushing when my body offers no other alternative, in whatever position feels right to me at the time. I would like to push spontaneously with no coaching. I will support my own perineum, guide the babys head out, and check for a cord. I will then finish delivering and bring my baby to my chest.

3rd Stage

The bed can be taken apart at this time for delivery of the placenta. Unless resuscitation is needed, I would like to wait to cut the cord when it stops pulsing or even after the placenta is delivered if possible. I would like to cut the cord myself.  We brought our own cord clamps. I will initiate breastfeeding at this time.  I do not want to be administered pitocin unless bleeding cannot be controlled with nursing and fundal stimulation from my baby.

All assessing that can be done in my arms should be. Please no suctioning with the exception of meconium being present.  After we have successfully nursed and bonded, you may take my baby to be weighed, measured and further assessed.  We will be using cloth diapers. I would like to delay eye ointment until this time as well, we brought our own. Please check list for other supplies brought with us. I would then like my baby immediately returned to me for rooming in. I would like to decline the hearing test and hospital photos. If the baby is a boy we will not be circumcising.  

If a c-section was needed do not give the baby a bottle and return him/her to me ASAP

Discharge

I would like to be discharged as soon as possible. I have already obtained a PKU test and it will be administered at home by my midwife.