Deacon's Birth Story - Part One

Of course I couldn't dive into the actual birth without the journey there, so I've done it in parts again. If you want to skip straight to the birth click here.

Deacon is 3 weeks now. His birth definitely wasn't the serene home birth I had imagined. This whole pregnancy was challenging. He gained the title Rainbow Baby because that is what babies born after a loss are called. Something beautiful after a storm. That name has been amplified for Deacon for sure. 

A shortish recap is that I became pregnant after trying for a couple years in September of 2015. We got a positive pregnancy test on October 4th . November 17th we went in for our 1st midwife appointment. No heartbeat could be found. They did an ultrasound where we saw that our tiny baby had only grown to 10+3 weeks. It took another week for his/her body to be born naturally at home on November 24th. Here is my complete miscarriage story.

I got pregnant again with Deacon in April of 2016. At 10 weeks I started spotting. I went in for an ultrasound and saw that everything was fine. I spotted on and off until 18 weeks. More here.

Kidney stones were my next bump in the road. I started having mild flank and bladder pain at 12 weeks, the beginning of July. On September 11th, I had the worst pain ever and when to the ER. Morphine didn't touch it so they put me on a dilaudid pump. That lessened it but didn't stop it. I started having non painful contractions every 2-3 minutes, so they gave me terbutaline. It stopped the contractions and my pain went away as well. I had a few little episodes over the next month, but on October 15th, it got bad again. Not as bad as last time, but bad enough to send me back to the hospital. This time one shot of dilaudid knocked it out. Thank the Lord it never got that bad again, a few minor episodes, but my CT after he was born showed it had passed at some point.

At 28 weeks I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes for the first time. I was able to stay diet controlled, but it was hard. I'm not sure I would have made it without medicine if he hadn't come early. 

Next was the threatened preterm labor. At 33+4 I started having more contractions 2-3 minutes apart. I went to the hospital and they gave me terbutaline again to stop them. It slowed them down, but didn't stop them so they also gave me procardia. They sent me home with another dose in case it picked back up when the medicine all wore off. 

I'm going to insert a bit about my home birth/provider struggle. When I first found out I was pregnant again, I was going to go back to the same midwife I went to when I had my loss, but I just couldn't do it. It was still too fresh to go back there. The only other CNM in town was pregnant too, and due around the same time as I was. I made a few appointments with local CPMs, but decided to interview with a CNM out of Danville as well. I sent her a list of my questions and she was very through. I ended up canceling my other appointments and going with her. She asks that you also establish care with a provider with hospital privileges. I decided to go with the doctor in Stanford that signs off on her because I knew the he was supportive of homebirth. My other pregnancies and deliveries had been so smooth, I really didn't think I'd need him anyways beyond ultrasounds. But after struggling with GD and being afraid of going early on top of kidney stones and everything else (by this time it was November and I was dealing with all the emotions of it being a year since my miscarriage), I had decided to transfer care to a hospital midwife. Since I wasn't 35 weeks yet, it made the most logical sense to go to someone who had privileges at the closest hospital with a NICU. I went and saw two. I decided to go with the 2nd because I thought she would be able to empathize with me because she was a homebirther herself. In the office, she gave me a steroid shot to help develop Deacon's lungs in case he did come early. That same evening, at 34 weeks, I started having contraction again! My care did not go how I had envisioned it though.

I'm just not a big hospital fan when it comes to labor and delivery. First of all when I started having contractions, I didn't even get to talk to see the MW I had just transfered care to. The OB she works with was on call. I hadn't planned on having any vaginal exams during pregnancy, but this whole preterm labor thing had thrown me for a loop. Cervical checks are very subjective and don't really tell you much unless you are assessing change with the same person checking. In the office that day I let my new MW check me so if I went back into the hospital, she could tell if there had been any change. Little did I know, she wouldn't come to the hospital unless I was confirmed to be in labor. Homebirth spoils you. I had to see another hospitalist when I arrived. I had found out there is a test for preterm labor called a fetal fibronectin test, but being checked in the last 24 hours can give a false positive. He decided to go ahead and do it because if it was negative it would mean I wasn't in preterm labor, and wouldn't likely give birth in the next 2 weeks. If it came back positive, they would have to redo it because I had let my new MW check me that day... grr. Of course his shift ended and I had to see yet another hospitalist. They tried to stop my contractions with just procardia this time and it wasn't working. They thought maybe the steroid shot triggered them and wanted to keep me that day on magnesium while I got my 2nd dose. That was awful. I was on it for 12 hours. I couldn't get out of bed. They had to catheterize me, put air compressions on my legs to prevent clots, and check my blood pressure every 30 minutes. It makes you feel like you're burning from the inside out. Turns out the test they had done got messed up at the lab so we decided to just wait until the next day to redo it. The mag didn't stop the contractions, so before it ended, they put me back on procardia and gave me something to help me sleep, but it didn't work. The procardia made my blood pressure drop and my heart rate go up, making sleep impossible. The next day I thought I was going to finally get to see my midwife, but apparently it was her day off so the OB came in and redid the test. It came back negative. PHEW! The contactions had finally stopped overnight, so I went home with a diagnosis of irritable uterus.

The next day I called my homebirth midwife and asked her if she'd take me back :) We thought that I wasn't going to give birth until at least 36 weeks. At that point I could give birth at home or at the hospital in Stanford, if I thought I could make it. If I could make it until 37 weeks, I could have my homebirth no question. Everyone said I didn't need to be on bed rest, but I was afraid that if the contractions started again, that they would cause my water break. Turns out I was half right....

Thanksgiving fell on November 24th this year, Dani's birthday, the baby we lost last year. I decided I didn't want to go to Louisville this year. I wanted to stay home and mourn where I had birthed and buried my baby. We have a few families at our church that are from out of town and don't have family close by. Some of them couldn't make it home for Thanksgiving. Our church is a family. When we lost Dani, they prayed and they cried with me. They give me strength through Him. We invited over a couple of families with the understanding it would be nothing fancy. Summer prepared the turkey breasts. Scott and Joshua did the rest. We used paper plates and throw away serving trays. What little dishes were dirtied, were washed by Jacob. Summer had cleaned the house in the days prior. I am truly blessed. I took it easy. I even did the shopping through Kroger's click list. It was a good day. I went to bed with no contractions. 

Read Part Two Here 

Deacon's Birth Story - Part Two

To read Part One click here

I woke up on November 25th, 2016 at 8am with no contractions. I took my blood sugar as normal for the last 7 weeks or so. It was just a little high, so I thought I'd go wash my hands and take it again. When I stood up, I felt fluid soak my panties. I was 35 weeks and 3 days pregnant. I knew I hadn't peed myself. I'm 39 and have gone through seven pregnancies, this one with kidney stones.. I've peed myself before. I started looking for dry panties with toilet paper tucked between my legs. I woke Scott and told him I was pretty sure my water broke. I knew it had, but there's always a little doubt. I felt more fluid come out and remembered I have depends. I got on the couch on my left side. I was trying to keep the fluid in and I didn't want the contractions to get stronger. I was having a few, but I wasn't in labor yet. I called and texted my midwife. Then called the hospital in Stanford to let them know I was on my way in. My MW offered to come in with me for labor support, but I declined. I figured it would all be smooth sailing and I'd have a baby in a couple of hours. Not quite... 

We got to the hospital(an hour away) at 10am.The 1st stage of labor was fine. I didn't want to be checked when I first got there because of course I was GBS positive and I didn't really want to risk pushing that bacteria up into my cervix without knowing if I'd get enough antibiotics in. I got the 1st dose at around noon. They were really good about me declining the eye ointment. The nurse was also very nice about me not wanting to be checked, but I let curiosity get the best of me. After the antibiotics finished, I was going to walk and if the contractions picked up I wanted a reference point to know if I was progressing. I knew being in the hospital with ruptured membranes was putting me on the clock, and I was feeling the pressure. I was about 3cm. 

We walked for about an hour. Scott went and got Arby's for lunch. I ate half Summers sandwich :) When we got back to the room I started bouncing on a ball. 
waiting for my ball
I could trigger some decent contractions there, but still not in labor. At about 4 they did my 2nd dose of antibiotics. I went ahead and laid down to rest my back and legs while we waited for it to finish. Then it was back to walking. 

We walked for close to another hour. The hallway made a square it took about 3 minutes to get around it. I started having a contraction about every lap. We went back to the room. They had my dinner waiting for me. All liquid, but better than what most hospitals will feed you during labor, which is nothing but ice chips. I had the chicken broth. The other stuff was sugary: juice, jello, sherbet, 7up, so I skipped them because I didn't want to chance a glucose spike and Deacon's insulin be too high and his sugar crash after birth. I asked to be checked at 5:30 to see if the contractions were doing anything. I wanted to get in the tub before it got intense. I was 4.5 cm. Progress. Finally in labor! 

I got in the tub and munched on some cashews. I browsed FB for a while then Summer and I watched watched a little Supernatural on our laptop :) At about 8 I guess, they started me on another dose of antibiotics. This is the part I don't like about being in the hospital though. I start feeling like a watched pot. They'd say, "You'll let us know as soon as you start feeling a change, right?" So like a good girl when it finally started to feel just a little more intense... like I couldn't focus on Sam and Dean anymore... I asked to be checked. I got out of the tub and found out I was just 6cm. This was at about 8:30 maybe. Time starts to get blurry. But it goes into fast forward from here.

I got right back in the tub.  I started a low moan to help me focus on opening and to stay relaxed. The doctor, who by the way ended up not being the doctor I had established with (he was out of town for Thanksgiving), came in shortly after and asked if he could check me while I was still in the tub. I was 7. Summer was by my side the whole time. My belly was sticking out of the water a bit, so she would pour water over it during a peak. Then I had 2 contractions that were really intense and I didn't feel like my uterus was relaxing all the way in between.

I got out of the tub and asked to be checked again at 9. When I walked out of the bathroom, it felt like there were a million people in the room, all staring right at me. My anxiety was rising. The doctor was there with his tool box of supplies. 

He checked me. I was 9, but Deacon wasn't liking these contractions. His heartbeat was dipping after them and he was still high in my uterus. I got out of the bed to try to get him to come down. I heard the doctor say to grab the vacuum. My anxiety went up another notch. After a few contractions, I started to feel a little more pressure and asked him to see if I was complete at 9:11. He said to be prepared, that if Deacon kept showing signs of distress and wasn't coming down, they would have to help him out with the vacuum. I was complete, but he was still high, so I didn't have the urge to push. His heart rate started dropping again, but he did better when I was standing, so I got back out of the bed. In hindsight, I should have squatted or got on all fours in the bed. When I stood back up, I'm not sure if I started having an anxiety attack, or my sugar was low, or what, but I started feeling a little faint. I started thinking I should just try pushing, but of course as soon as I laid down, Deacon's heart rate went down. They had me turn onto my left side. I was torn between not wanting to "purple push" and deprive him of even more oxygen and just trying to get him out. I was grunting through the contractions, looking for the urge to push, but it wasn't happening. They had me turn over to my right side and gave me oxygen.  The doctor was checking me during every contraction, which was super painful, and distracting from my task. I sort of yelled/cried out after one, "why do you keep doing that!?" He said he needed to know if I was making any progress because Deacon heart rate wasn't coming back up between each contractions and we may need to act soon. There wasn't an in between at this point though, they didn't feel like they were really going away completely before another peak would start. I decided in my mind I was going to have to either push with everything I had and get him out, or give up, and let them vacuum him out. So with the next contraction I held my breath and pushed. I felt him come down and kept pushing until his head was out. I asked if he had his cord around his neck, which he did pretty tightly.  The doctor looped it off then I reached down as I pushed the rest of his body out and pulled his slippery body to my chest at 9:34. I did it. 

He was breathing, but his heart rate was still low, so I let them take him across the room to get a little ventilation and oxygen after Summer cut the cord. 

His apgars were 6, 8, and 9... so he recover quickly and was back in my arms in less than 15 minutes. 

I took his blankets off as soon as I got him and put him back to my chest. I had let the doctor manage my 3rd stage, by pressing on my fundus and putting just a small amount of traction on the cord, mostly because I knew the sooner the placenta came, the sooner the room would clear and I could relax with my baby. It came quickly, with minimal bleeding. 

We cuddled and nursed for over an hour then Summer got to hold him at 11:12. 

We took him to the nursery to be weighed and get his Vitamin K and Hep b shots. I don't really think hep b is necessary, but we fully vaccinate and don't think it's worth finding a new pediatrician for. He was 4 lbs 15 oz and 17 3/4 in. His blood sugar was also great.

Summer took the 1st shift to let me try to get some rest a little after midnight. She held him skin to skin in a babywearing shirt. I probably slept for an hour. She woke me at a little before two.

I fed him, changed him and cuddled him until 4 something, then woke Scott (he had been asleep since midnight) for his turn to hold him skin to skin. I slept another hour and a half or so, until about 6. 

I fed and changed him, then woke Summer back up for another cuddle. This went on most of the next day. I slept an hour or so here and there when I could. Scott left at around 10 to pick up the other kids minus Joshua, who had to work. My parents came the same time as them. Everybody took a turn, then were ready to go, which I was thankful for. 

Scott stayed home the 2nd night to be with the littles. Summer stayed with me. I had napped a lot during the day, so I let her get a little more shut eye that night. ;) I did wake her up to go with me to get him reweighed. Instead of losing any, he gained 2oz. I had told them my milk had already started coming in! 

His last hurdles as a 35 weeker the next day, to get to come home, were his bilirubin and car seat tests. He passed both but his bilirubin was a little elevated so we had to follow up with our pediatrician the following week. He ended up on a biliblanket for one night, but it has been slowly coming down. At his 2 week check up it was 12 something. They'll check it again at 3 weeks. He's still been gaining weight like a champ. He was 5 11.5 at 2 weeks :)

Everything I went through was so worth it. Deacon is awesome and perfect in every way. Of course I wish that he could've cooked a little longer. Maybe he wouldn't have had such a hard time at the end of my labor, and maybe he wouldn't have had to have had his poor little foot lanced so many times, but he is my rainbow and for that, I am grateful. God is so good. Maybe him staying in the womb longer wouldn't have changed those things. Maybe it was God's intervention for me having a homebirth. It apparently wasn't meant to be this time. I think I knew deep down. I always write an in depth birth plan and this time I just couldn't.

Just pictures from here that Summer took :) 

Natural Childbirth - Part 2

After Summer God gave us a 5 year baby break. During this time is when I lent out my library. When I finally got pregnant with Ronan I went out and got a couple of new books. Most notably... Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth and Birthing from Within. I decided this time I was going to have a birthing plan.  Here's a copy...

Birth Plan
Clark Regional Medical Center
August/September 2009

    We realize that birth offers many surprises.  We are more than willing to work with the staff should circumstances arise.  These are our preferences if everything is going smoothly.  We hope that you are willing to work with us.  Thank you.

Labor:

Attendants:  Dad and/or babysitter are the  only ones permitted in the delivery room.
Setting:  Please dim the lights and be as quiet as possible.  Only ask me questions that others cannot answer.
Pain Relief:  Please do not even mention pain medication, we will let you know if it becomes necessary.
IV:  I prefer a heparin  lock.
Position:  I would like to be free to move about as I wish.
Cervical checks:  Kept to a minimum and performed in a position other than flat on my back if in intense labor.
Monitoring:  Continuous monitoring for a short time upon  admission  only please.  A portable Doppler may be used if necessary thereafter.

Birth:

Position:  I would like to try squatting/kneeling in the bed or whatever feels natural at the time.
Pushing:  I would prefer to push spontaneously with contractions.  Please no loud coaching , although  quiet encouragement is welcomed.
Delivery:  I would like to catch my own baby unless dad is present and wishes to.
Monitoring:  Handheld Doppler only if pushing becomes prolonged please.

After Birth:

Suctioning:  In my arms as necessary.
Drying:  Please hand me a blanket and I will dry and stimulate my baby.
Cord cutting:  Dad or I will cut the cord after it stops pulsing.
Placenta:  Bed can be taken apart for delivery of placenta.
Bleeding:  Please allow me to try breastfeeding before pitocin is administered.

Baby Care:

Newborn Assessment, ect.:  Please do not take my baby from me unless necessary until after I have breastfed to help minimize  my bleeding.  Perform all assessments possible in my arms.
Eye Ointment:  I would like to forgo the administration of eye prophylactics but if deemed necessary I would like to delay at least one hour.
Rooming:  I would prefer my baby not be taken to the nursery unless absolutely necessary.
Warming:  Skin to skin with a warm blanket covering both of us.  I would be willing to take the baby’s temperature periodically and if it drops to low, allow him to be taken to the nursery for warming.
Weighing:  I would like to accompany my baby when taken to be weighed.
Bathing:  I would prefer to bath my baby in my room.  Again, I will do temperature monitoring.
Visitors:  Only allowed in mother-baby room once we are settled.

Discharge:

After PKU screening, about 24 hours after birth.
   
Please discuss with us any of our request that you are unable to accommodate.

Thank You,


It was edited slightly between Ronan and Raiden but not much. I took out the part where I wanted to give the first bath. I really wanted to, but it was just something I ended up compromising. I considered a homebirth but I had been through so much with my dr at that point I thought I'd present him with my plan and see how he reacted.... He didn't bat an eye. He did ask that I bring in some research on catching my own baby. I printed some material from this website http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/
And another I can't recall. I'm sure he wanted his butt covered "just in case".

Saturday, August 25th I started having a lot of braxton hicks contractions.  They weren't very stong or consistant, and then they just stopped. The same thing happend on Sunday night and all day Monday. I had a doctors appointment Tuesday... he checked me and I was 4cm dilated, 80 % effaced, and the baby was almost at 0 station. He went ahead and stripped my membranes and sent me home. After I got home I walked, and walked, and walked some more. At about 8 o'clock my contractions were coming pretty steady.  They still weren't intensifying and were only lasting about 30 seconds though. At midnight they started getting a little stronger so I started debating on calling my mom to come watch the kids.... I waited about an hour and then they started slowing down and I fell asleep. I really think that my anxiety over not having child care when it was time was causing my labor to stall.  My mom was at least an hour and a half away. In hindsight we could have taken the kids to the hospital until she got there but that would have left me alone so I didn't consider it.  I woke up at 6:15 to get the kids ready for school... I was still contracting but again nothing strong and nothing consistant. I told Scott not to go to work because I was afraid of my labor hitting hard and fast and him not making it home in time. At 11:00 I decided to call my doctor to see what he thought. He told me to come into the office so he could check me and see what, if anything was going on. We went straight over and found that I was now 5cm and the baby was at 0 station.  He sent me over to the hospital to be monitored. I had to go back by the house to get my bags then we got checked in at 12:30. My doctor came in at 12:45 and said he didn't think it would be wise to let me go home so he suggested we break my water to get things moving along... I agreed. Scott and I then started walking around the hospital. At 1:45 my doctor checked me and I was 6cm... my contraction still weren't painful at all so we walked some more. It was really nice.  We went to the cafeteria to get Scott some lunch.   At 3 my contractions started getting more uncomfortable.  We called to make sure my mom got the kids got off of the bus okay then headed back to the room. At 3:15 I got in the whirlpool. I was half afraid not walking would slow my labor down but I really wanted the opportunity to use the bath this time... with Jacob and Summer I didn't have time.

While in the tub it got to where I couldn't talk or listen though a contraction.  At about 4 I had two really painful ones. I started to feel a little nausious and told Scott to call for my nurse. I had two more before I could get to the bed. I could handle them okay while I was standing but when I had one lying down, when she was getting ready to check me, I thought I was going to DIE! I was thinking I was probably just now hitting transitions and I was going to be about 8cm... I was complete with a little anterior lip. The nurses all rushed out to call my doctor.  When the next contraction hit I told Scott to tell them I was pushing and I couldn't stop! He hesitated for a second not wanting to leave me then ran out told them and ran back. As he came back in the baby started to crown... I had rolled over onto my left side and was birting my baby all by myself!  I reached down with the next contraction and supported his head as I pushed.  The nurses came in when the head was about half out. Once I delivered the head one of the nurses reached in to do something... I'm not quite sure what but then the next contraction came and she back off as I pushed him the rest of the way out... as soon as I started pushing that time we noticed the cord was wrapped loosely around his neck so as he came out I held his head and shoulders in my left hand, let his body slip onto the bed and removed the cord with my right.

Ronan was born on August 29th at 4:18 into his mommy's loving hands... how awesome is that! He was 3 weeks and 2 days early, weighed 5lbs 14.5 oz and was 19 inches long! It was absolutely amazing!

The nurses just handed me blankets to dry and stimulate him with... he cryed right away.  They offered for me to suction him but I was afraid of being to timid to get him cleared out good and he sounded a little gooky.. so the nurse did it while I held him. We waited a good 5 minutes or so for the cord to stop pulsing before they clamped it and Scott cut it.

My doctor arrived at a little after 4:30.

They still ended up taking him for a few minutes before giving him back to nurse. My original plan wasn't specific on this... I didn't ask then for the delay in eye drops either.  While I ate dinner they took him to the nursery, got him clean up, weighed, and measured then brought him right back. Then it went downhill a little. They were packed that night so they said I would be staying in my labor room instead of a recovery room. At about 3 in the morning they came in and said they needed my room. I would be moving to a semiprivate room and Scott would not be allowed to stay with me. I was heart broken. I didn't want to stay alone so Scott went back to our house with the big kids and my mom came up to the hospital. He came back at about 8.  Our pediatrician ended up delaying our departure a little but we were home for dinner!

My pregnancy with Raiden was very stressful. The economy went in the toilet. They took away Scotts OT and we started getting nervous about him getting laid off. He ended up getting a job in WV... The town he grew up in. We put the house up for sale. He started July 13th... I wasn't due until September 13th. We decided the kids and I would stay in KY until the house sold or the baby was born which ever came first. Scott stayed at his Grandmas house in town that no one lived in. July 23rd after my drs appointment the kids and I went to visit. We got a call that day that we got and offer on our house. We went house hunting when we got there and found one perfect for our family. God is good.  Our closings were set tentatively for August 24th and 30th. School was starting in WV on the 24th so they would miss the first day or two. Now where was I going to give birth????!!! I NEEDED to have this baby by the 22nd. I prayed.  I desperately tried to convince my doctor, if my cervix was favorable to break my water, if I hadn't gone on my own by then! At my appointment on the 17th I was 3cm and 50% effaced. He scheduled me to come back in on Friday, he would strip my membranes but it was too early to break my water. I prayed some more.

Tuesday was pretty hectic. The kids had dentist appts at 8am then I had to take them to the health department to get TB test for school in WV. Ronan wasn't feeling good so I packed him around the whole time.

Wednesday was delivery day. As soon as I got up I ran to Sav A Lot for a few neccesities. The closing on our house had gotten moved up so I thought I might be in Winchester another week.

When Ronan went down for his nap I let Joshua sit with him while I took Jacob and Summer to Walmart for some things for the house.

After Ronan woke up we all went to The Childrens Place to get new jackets and a few new school clothes. Ronan still wasn't feeling good so eventhough I brought the stroller in, I still had to pack him. We also ran to Old Navy, and we had to stop back by Walmart for something I had forgotten earlier.

When we were leaving there I got a call from my realtor that I needed to stop by and sign the new contract. I signed it at 4:55pm. The office is next to a health foods store so I stopped in to pick up a couple of things that might help get things going. I needed a substitute since Scott wasn't in town and I couldn't take advantage of his prostaglandins!! Lol. Evening primrose is suppose to do the same thing and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea is suppose to help strengthen Braxton Hicks. I was talking to Scott on the way home and told him that maybe it was a good thing the closing got postponed because I didn't think I was going to go into labor by Sat and at least I'd still have a house to stay in. I said "I'm just not feeling it". But God always has his own plan, maybe I just needed to stop stressing about it.

When we got home I laid on the couch and Ronan was wallering all over me whining. It felt like he was running a fever so I gave him some Tylenol. Then he cuddled up on my belly. I was on the phone with Scott and I had a contraction. It was stronger than any of the others I had had thus far and I felt it "lower". I couldn't even follow the conversation we were having. This was at about 5:45. It seemed I bought those herbs for nothing!

I let Scott go and told him I was going to take a bath. I had another contraction then my stomach just started feeling taught and my lower back was aching. I called my sis at 6:24. She was going into work and I just wanted to let her know that I thought I might be going into labor. Called Scott at 6:36.

I updated FB at around 6:40 then got in the tub. It did help my back and let my uterus relax, then I started having regular contractions. At 6:53 I txt'd my babysitter and asked her if she could come stay the night with me just in case. She said she was eating dinner with her fam and then she would be over. I txt'd my sis at 7 and told her I had had 3 contractions since I had been in the tub and that I was going to try going for a walk. Usually if you're in false labor walking will make the contraction stop. If it's real labor it will intensify them. I called Scott back at 7:19. I had a couple of more in the tub then got out.

I got dressed in my labor clothes I had bought. It consisted of a black cotton skirt and a black nursing, sleep bra with a turquoise tank over it. I hate it that I didn't get a pic:( I put some make up on just in case. I think at this point I knew but wasn't admitting it to myself yet. I txt'd my sis again at 7:24.  I told her I was going for my walk and not to worry about me, my babysitter was on her way. Called Scott at 7:29 told him I was going to let my phone charge while I walked. As I walked the contractions just kept coming.

I called my babysitter at around 8 from the kids phone to see what was keeping her and to tell her I thought tonight was going to be the night. She proceeded to tell me that she was STILL eating and that her car had been overheating. I'm thinking to myself "so grab a gallon of water and come on!". Or find some other way to get here. I told her that she knew my labors didn't take long so she needed to let me know if she wasn't coming! I walked a bit more, stopped and talked to a neighbor, then decided I needed to make other arrangements.

My neighbor across the street is a nurse at the hospital I was going to be delivering at(not a labor nurse but a nurse). Summer plays with her little girl. She's lived there for years. We've always been neighborly and I thought maybe I could count on her in a pinch. At almost 8:30 I knocked on her door and asked if her teenage daughter could come stay the night with my kids. She asked how I planned to get to the hospital and I said I guess I'll drive myself or call a cab. She pretty much said over her dead body. That she would take me and stay with me. I said Thank you!

At 8:35 I txt'd my sis and told her these contractions weren't going away. That I was going to try and sit for an hour and time them. I tried but I couldn't sit. They were coming pretty much one right after another. At 8:46 she told me I should call the dr. I was like, not yet, I don't want to get there too soon!

At 8:52 My babysitter txt'd me to tell me she couldn't make it!!

At 9:01 I told my sis I was going to call the dr because they were coming so fast. Ironically I called my neighbor at 9:11. Scott called at 9:15 I told him we were about to leave. At 9:17 we left for the hospital. It's less than a 10 minute drive and I had 4 or 5 contractions on the way. The admitting lady asked how close together they were and I said about two minutes and my friend said "If that!!!"

I opted to not wear a hospital gown and stayed in my labor clothes. The nurse checked me and put the monitors on me just long enough to record a couple of contractions and Raidens heart rate through them. I was 4-5cm and 100% effaced. This was at about 10. I updated Scott and my sis. Then she gave me a hep lock just in case I needed pitocin afterwards.

My dr wanted to be called when I was 7-8 since he missed it last time. We ran me a bath in the whirlpool tub. I asked the nurse to check me before I got in. I was 7cm. I had been drinking apple juice and got sick. This was at almost 10:30. I got in the tub and it was heaven. Any tension that I had between contractions melted away. I updated Scott, my sis and FB!

I'm not sure how long it took for Dr. P to get there but he and the nurses waited outside the room for me to get out of the tub when I was ready. I started feeling a little bit of pressure so I got out. The nurse chk'd me and listened to Raiden through a contraction just by holding the lead to my belly. No belts. I was 9cm. Dr. P broke my water. Then everyone left me to labor and push at my own pace. Except my friend of course.

It was 10:53 at this point. I called Scott and put him on speaker phone. With each contraction I would bear down just a little to try and get him to come down. I tried kneeling in the bed through a few but it was too uncomfortable and not working for me. I decided to get back out of the bed.

After a few contraction standing I began to feel a great deal more pressure and got back in the bed. I sat semi reclined resting on my left elbow. With the next contraction I grabbed my right ankle and the urge to GET THIS BABY OUT came over me! I told Scott he was almost here. My friend asked if she should get the dr and I shook my head yes as the next contraction overwhelmed any control that I had and I pushed Raidens head out. At that moment Dr. P and the nurses entered the room. One more push and Happy Birthday Raiden!!! Unfortunately they felt the needed to check him out quickly so I didn't get to cut the cord. Turns out there were no complications. Apparently the sight of poop really freaked my doctor out though! You'd think he'd be use to it!

I nursed him, then my friend went with him to the nursery for a few. We met back in my recovery room. She stayed until 1 or 2, then she needed to get some rest before her 7am shift. I didn't really like it but I was more prepared to be by myself this time and dealt with it. Raiden roomed in of course. Scott had to go into work so he didn't get to leave for his 8 hour drive until 3 or 4. His dad was driving him.  I wasn't happy he wouldn't call in but he was worried about being a new employee. My mom and dad got to my house fairly early to relieve my friends daughter. They all came up to the hosp for a bit then my mom took the younger three home. My dad stayed until after dinner then he left and Joshua stay with me. Scott finally got there at about midnight. Our pediatrician was adamant that we had to stay at least 24 hours and since they wouldn't discharge me at night I had to stay a 2nd night. At a little after midnight they came and got him and said they needed to get his vitals. I dosed off after a bit... hours later he still wasn't back. I was very upset. I sent Scott to find out what was going on. They said they were waiting to get his hearing test. I was experiencing separation anxiety all over again and was sobbing. In the morning we had to wait on our pediatrician once again so we didn't get out of there until noon.

When I first got pregnant this time, I thought I would try a CNM in a hospital. I thought we would have these nice long appointments where we would get to know each other on a more personal level. This was not the case. I felt like I was just going to a female ob. I started getting nervous about what my experience would be like at this hospital. Afterall, I was at a VERY supportive hospital before and still had to deal with things not going my way. I asked Scott what he thought about doing a homebirth this time. He said he thought I was crazy. Then I had him watch Ricki Lake's documentary, The Business of Being Born. It completely changed his view. I think he'd be more afraid of taking me to the hospital at this point! I have found a wonderful midwife that spent 3 hours with me at our initial consultation. I am so exited to have an intimate labor with Scott in the comfort of our own home. To not have to get out of my nice warm tub to birth my baby. The only real pain I felt when in labor with Raiden was when I was being checked and when they were breaking my water. I may not have my midwife check me at all this time and we plan to let my water break on it's own.  Hopefully I can achieve a true pain free birth! The waves of labor are not painful if you give in to them and do not fear them. Gods design is perfect if it is respected!

Natural Childbirth - Part 1

When I had my first I didn't even consider a drug free birth. I didn't want to feel anything... I was terrified. We took a Lamaze class because I knew labor would start at home and I wanted to be prepared for the time before I got my epidural. 

I was due July 2nd but I really wanted a June birthday so I decided on the night of the 29th to try mineral oil to get things going. BIG mistake!!! I woke up at around 2:30 am with horrible intestinal cramps and back pain. I took a bath, then the contractions started. 

I got to the hospital at 4:30. I was only 2cm and completely effaced. I had been 2cm and 80% at 38 weeks! They gave me stadol(sp?) as soon as I got there because I was in so much pain. I was breathing through the contractions like I had learned in Lamaze but I did not feel in control. My Dr came in at 7:30 and immediately broke my water. I was 3-4 cm. I was really in pain then, so they gave me more stadol. The  anesthesiologist came in at 8:30 and gave me my epidural. He told me to be sure and tell him if I had any tingling. I told him I felt a tingle shoot down my left leg but he didn't say or do anything about it. My family came in but I was so out of it, I didn't know what was going on. They checked me again at 10:30 and of course I was still 4 so they put me on pitocin. They came in and increased it every 30 minutes. By noon they had it up to 48. Checked me at 12:30, I was 5cm. I guess that still wasn't fast enough for them. Maybe they were afraid I wouldn't go in time for the dr to get home in time for dinner.  They had me lie on my side and cranked it up to 60 then to 72. They checked me again at 1:30, I was 8. Then by 2 I was complete and started to push. I remembered what my Lamaze instructor said and pushed with my abs like I was trying to pop a seatbelt off. It worked. I only pushed for 25 minutes. Two hours later I finally got to hold and nurse him. He did good despite the separation and delay. 

By the time they moved me to my recovery room I had begun to get the feeling back in my right leg but not my left.. The one with the tingle. I didn't see him again until 7:50. I don't recall what time... And didn't write it down.. He went back to the nursery. They brought him to me every few hours to nurse. I was exhausted and hung over so I slept. Scott had to carry me to the bathroom because I didnt regain feeling in my leg completely until 7 the next morning! The second night was horrible. I was more coherent. I had started getting severe separation anxiety.  The nursery was on a separate floor but I still went to check on him. He was lying in his little bed alone... Squalling! I went back to my room sobbing and made Scott go get him!  

All in all it wasn't a bad experience... I brought home a healthy 7lb 12oz baby boy. It just wasn't great. 

I'm using the term natural childbirth loosely. A better term would probably be drug free birth. It's nearly impossible to go to an ob and hospital and not receive any interventions. Stripping the membrane and artificially rupturing the membrane being the hardest to resist. 

When I got pregnant with Jacob I was staying home taking care of Joshua. I had more time to research. Scott and I loved going to Barnes and Noble to hang out, browse and buy books. I lent out my library... And didn't get it back. So I don't remember what books I had that swayed me. But I knew I didn't want a repeat of last time. I wanted to be present. I didn't want my water broke early and I didn't want pitocin. Above all, I did NOT want an epidural! I kept a little bit of an open mind because I didn't want to feel like a failure if I didn't make it. I told Scott not to ask me if I was OK... Which he had a habit of doing... Because it might make me doubt myself. And for no one to offer or even mention pain medication. If I decided I needed it I would ask for it! I also decided if I were less than 5cm when I got to the hospital, I wasn't staying. 

I went over and over it in my mind... I read that 2nd labors are typically half what your first was. 12 hr average for 1st so 6 hrs for 2nd. I wrote down, and still have what I might be dilated at each hour of labor. I started having complete faith in my body... Gods design. 

Joshua and I weren't early risers but when we did get up I started feeling like I was having some pre labor contractions. It was 3 weeks before my due date but I just had that feeling.  I thought, "If I'm going to have a baby today... I need some groceries!" So off to Walmart we went. Everytime I would pick up something heavy I would have a contraction. Not painful, but enough to make me pause. In the parking lot while I was loading into my car the guy getting the carts noticed me and I asked if I need help. Normally I would politely decline but this time I accepted. He even got Joshua out of the buggy for me! I had to drive past my doctors office on the way home so I pulled into the parking lot. I thought maybe I'd just run in and see if he would check me to see if I was in labor. The lot was empty, I remembered they didn't do office visits on that day. So I drove on home. I got all the groceries in, put away the cold stuff, and left the rest on the kitchen floor. Joshua had fell asleep on the way home. I laid back in the recliner where I had done all my visualizing. I dozed off for a bit. I woke up at 1:11 and timed my first real contraction. It still wasn't painful it just felt more intense.  I relaxed as much as I could. When Joshua woke up I called my neighbor and she came over and got him. I called Scott then I called my dr at about 3:30. My contractions had started coming every 2-3 minutes. Scott pulled in the drive way at 4:15 and I hopped in. I started feeling a little pain when I got in the car but I was on top of it. 

It was 4:45 by the time I got registered and they checked me. I was 5cm!!!! Yay!!! I found out when I got there my GBS had came back positive so they had to hook me up to an IV. They almost gave me penicillin... Which it clearly stated in my chart I am allergic to. Luckily I was with it this time and caught it before she hooked it up.  At least I could still get up an go pee! At 5:30 I threw up... Then I thought my water had broken. At my 20wk ultrasound I had a low lying placenta. They checked again at 28wks and said it had moved up but I guess not quite high enough because it was blood not water. A nurse checked me at 6 and said I was 6cm but 15 minutes later my dr came in and checked and said I was 8. He broke my water.... He said he wanted to make sure there wasn't blood in the amniotic fluid. There wasn't. At this point i was think to myself that I was crazy for not getting an epidural! I then reminded myself that this was transition and it was almost over.  Checked again at 6:30... I was 9. They started "prepping" me. I was up in stirrups and started pushing at 6:39. He was born at 6:43! They did take him to the warmer to do a few things but I got to nurse him by 7. The labor was a little chaotic. But I was on the high of my life! Elation! I had pain but it was manageable and for a short amount of time. 

They took him to the nursery. I cleaned myself up and walked over and watched him for a bit then went to my recovery room and ate. I went back to the nursery just as he was getting ready to get his first bath. The nurse let me come in and video it. It was a good experience. I thought it was great at the time with all the oxytocin and endorphins coursing through my body!

Summers birth was remarkably similar to Jacobs. A little better. 3 checks in 2hrs verses 5. Scott left for work at about 6:15. I was trying to go back to sleep when I had a contraction that felt a little different than a Braxton Hicks. I got up and went to the bathroom and had a little bloody show. Nothing like with Jacob. I called Scott just as he was walking in the office and told him to come on back home. I stood and swayed through my contractions. I had more that way but they weren't as uncomfortable. At 8:15 I had a little more bloody show. We decided to head for the hospital. 

I was 5-6cm when I got there. It was 4 weeks before my due date this time so my GBS results hadn't came back yet. Luckily, since I went so quickly last time, they didn't bother with the antibiotics. They did however give me a heplock. At 11 I started to get VERY uncomfortable and decided to labor stand up again. I got sick, the nurse came in and checked me. I was 8. About 10-15 minutes later my dr came in. I was 9 and "stretchy" so he broke my water and I started pushing. Five minutes later at 11:44 she was born. She was laid immediately on my chest but then taken to the warmer to be assessed. Meanwhile the placenta was delivered. The dr pressed on my belly and blood squirted out so they gave me some pitocin. THEN they gave her back to me to nurse. The afterpains were horrible. I'm not so sure he didn't tug on the cord a little to hasten things. 

Again they took her to the nursery for a few hours. She roomed in the remainder of our stay with the exception of a few short trips to the nursery for hearing tests and whatnot. 

I did even more research before my next two births and came in armed with a birthing plan. Although I still succumbed to some interventions. I'll cover them in my next post.