This is were i get kicked out of the attachment parenting club. I find that style helpful with babies but not defiant children. I have really struggled with writing this post. The first part is a post I made myself on Cafemom right after Ronan was born. It was hard for me to put it on here without editing it because I actually don't agree with myself on some of it. I had just had an awesome natural birth, on which I was criticized about on Cafemom for allowing my dr to strip my membranes and breaking my water. I was just learning about AP, had read Dr. Sears book. I think I was trying very hard to "fit in" in this online community. I ended up abandoning Cafemom. It turned out to be full of to many extremes for me. With all the Lactavist, intactavist, hardcore APers. Yes, I'm a breastfeeding advocate, but I'm not going to tell another mom she's feeding her baby poison if she chooses formula. Three of my boys are circ'd and one isn't, so I'm definitely not going to accuse someone else of butchering their son! Point is as parents we all do our best with the information we have at the time. This isn't a test, there aren't right and wrong answers. As long as you are loving, and making the choice you feel is best for your family, you can't fail. We should encourage and help one another, not judge and criticize. I was also high on oxytocin when I wrote the original post. I hate to say I'm more nurturing when I'm breastfeeding... But I am. So here it is....
I'm on the fence with this subject... I agree that kids today seem to be much less respectful but it also seems like there are a LOT more parents that still believe in spanking than not... Don't misunderstand me... I am NOT advocating the extreme spanking most of our parents and grandparents used but I think in order for any disipline to work it has to be full on. Back in the day parents didn't worry about having a relationship with their children... this is not to say that those kids didn't develop a respect for their parents later on and form a close relationships. When you did something wrong you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were gunna get your butt busted... so you didn't do it... and they didn't just use a liitle tap on the butt... it HURT. There were no one, two, three chances. So I don't think spanking is an effective form of disipline when used arbitrarily... either use it all the time... or reserve it for EXTREME meassures, or don't use it at all. I think... HOPE... that other form of disipline are effective for most behavior problems if used consistantly. IMO that is our biggest down fall as parents today... we are not consistant.I agree that not all kids can handle this type of punishment... and that some have and do suffer from it. I also agree with the part of the article that says parents sometimes spank as a way to release their own frustrations. I also agree that spanking can lead to violent behavior. I am not making lay statements... I am a mother of four who is struggling to find the right method for my family... I have spanked all of my older three children and I'll have to admit that it has not worked for us... plus I am constantly dealing with the issue now of my kids hitting each other. I try to explain to them that it is not their place to disipline each other but when one does something the other does like their first reaction is to hit the other. My husband and I say to each other all the time that we don't understand... we would have never behaved the way our children have at times. I'm not saying that I gave birth to a bunch of hellians... they can be really good kids.. but we do have our issues.. I won't go into all that right now though. I am currantly looking for something that will work for our family that I can use consistantly... but I can't let that thing be spanking... I want my kids to repect me without fear of me inflicting pain on them... and I can't take the constant fighting in my house anymore... this has to be a hit free zone. I can't promise that I will Never spank Ronan(my youngest) for EXTREME things.. but I hope not... I hope that I can find something else that works... my relationship with my kids is very important to me... I know you can't be your kids best friend all the time but theres GOT to be something else that TRUELY works... cuz I've got news for you ladies that only have one... or haven't been through it all yet... an occasionall spanking doesn't work!
When I decided to revisit the subject I got online and tried to research. There are plenty of "studies" that show adverse effects of spanking. The problem is none of them are scientific. The people looked at come from an era when it's hard to find ANYbody who has never been spanked. Sure, ask a mass murderer if he was spanked as a child... I'm sure he will say yes. But how many well adjusted citizens, or even Nobel peace prize winner were spanked as well. I was. Maybe the murderer was spanked more often but chances are he wasn't a very good kid! Remember we are just talking about spanking, not abuse. In January 2010 a study was released claiming to be more scientic than any previous study. http://www.network54.com/Forum/198833/thread/1262937031/1263592600/Pro-Spanking+Studies+May+Have+Global+Effect
So is spanking actually beneficial when used correctly. But what is correct...
I so many times in the past, when my kids were misbehaving wondered where I went wrong. The only thing I think I did wrong was not turn to God sooner for guidance. All of the character qualities I want my children to have are outlined in the Bible. It's my job to teach them. I don't think my kids hit each other because of an occasional spanking. I think they hit because the majority of them are aggressive boys, and I failed to teach them self-control.
So what exactly does the Bible say about spanking.
Prov 13:24: "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (diligently)."
Prov 19:18: "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."
Prov 22:15: "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."
Prov 23:13: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."
Prov 23:14: "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Shoel)."
Prov 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."
Some people argue that King Solomon who wrote proverbs was a tyrant and look how his son turned out but the Bible tells us God gave him great wisdom.
Solomon prays:
"Give Thy servant an understanding heart to judge Thy people and to know good and evil."1 Kings 3:9 [9]
"So God said to him, 'Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked...'" (1 Kings 3:11-12)[9] The Hebrew Bible also states that: "The whole world sought audience with Solomon to hear the wisdom God had put in his heart." (1 Kings 10:24) [10]
The old testament also advises a lot of stoning though... So you decide.
Anyway, this is what we have come up with for our family. We have Bible study every evening to learn how to apply the fruits of the spirit to our lives. In our chore packs specific consequences are given. If morning pack isn't completed, that person has to do everyones bathroom chore in the afternoon. If the afternoon pack isn't completed, that person has to do everyones kitchen chore in the evening. If evening pack isn't completed, no bedtime snack! Timeouts are given for indirect disobedience... Or doing what you know you are not suppose to do. Grounding and loss of priveleges results after a third timeout in day. Direct defiances gets a count to 3, then a spanking. There I said it. I spank my kids. Or at least I would. They don't usually let me get to 3. I used redirection with Ronan, as I am doing now with Raiden until about 3. When I was sure he understood my direction, but started telling me no. Am I bad mom, I don't think so. Although, my kids do sometimes tell me I'm the worst mom in the world, when they don't get their way. I figure they will have plenty of friends in their lifetimes, but only one mom. My firmness is balanced with, love, gentleness and affection. My 12 year old son still likes to cuddle with me, as do all my kids. I don't yell and scream anymore, it's not necessary. Hopefully as my kids and I learn more from the Bible, discipline will become less and less. It seems like it has already and we are only two weeks in.
Showing posts with label christian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label christian. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Natural Childbirth - Part 2
After Summer God gave us a 5 year baby break. During this time is when I lent out my library. When I finally got pregnant with Ronan I went out and got a couple of new books. Most notably... Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth and Birthing from Within. I decided this time I was going to have a birthing plan. Here's a copy...
Birth Plan
Clark Regional Medical Center
August/September 2009
We realize that birth offers many surprises. We are more than willing to work with the staff should circumstances arise. These are our preferences if everything is going smoothly. We hope that you are willing to work with us. Thank you.
Labor:
Attendants: Dad and/or babysitter are the only ones permitted in the delivery room.
Setting: Please dim the lights and be as quiet as possible. Only ask me questions that others cannot answer.
Pain Relief: Please do not even mention pain medication, we will let you know if it becomes necessary.
IV: I prefer a heparin lock.
Position: I would like to be free to move about as I wish.
Cervical checks: Kept to a minimum and performed in a position other than flat on my back if in intense labor.
Monitoring: Continuous monitoring for a short time upon admission only please. A portable Doppler may be used if necessary thereafter.
Birth:
Position: I would like to try squatting/kneeling in the bed or whatever feels natural at the time.
Pushing: I would prefer to push spontaneously with contractions. Please no loud coaching , although quiet encouragement is welcomed.
Delivery: I would like to catch my own baby unless dad is present and wishes to.
Monitoring: Handheld Doppler only if pushing becomes prolonged please.
After Birth:
Suctioning: In my arms as necessary.
Drying: Please hand me a blanket and I will dry and stimulate my baby.
Cord cutting: Dad or I will cut the cord after it stops pulsing.
Placenta: Bed can be taken apart for delivery of placenta.
Bleeding: Please allow me to try breastfeeding before pitocin is administered.
Baby Care:
Newborn Assessment, ect.: Please do not take my baby from me unless necessary until after I have breastfed to help minimize my bleeding. Perform all assessments possible in my arms.
Eye Ointment: I would like to forgo the administration of eye prophylactics but if deemed necessary I would like to delay at least one hour.
Rooming: I would prefer my baby not be taken to the nursery unless absolutely necessary.
Warming: Skin to skin with a warm blanket covering both of us. I would be willing to take the baby’s temperature periodically and if it drops to low, allow him to be taken to the nursery for warming.
Weighing: I would like to accompany my baby when taken to be weighed.
Bathing: I would prefer to bath my baby in my room. Again, I will do temperature monitoring.
Visitors: Only allowed in mother-baby room once we are settled.
Discharge:
After PKU screening, about 24 hours after birth.
Please discuss with us any of our request that you are unable to accommodate.
Thank You,
It was edited slightly between Ronan and Raiden but not much. I took out the part where I wanted to give the first bath. I really wanted to, but it was just something I ended up compromising. I considered a homebirth but I had been through so much with my dr at that point I thought I'd present him with my plan and see how he reacted.... He didn't bat an eye. He did ask that I bring in some research on catching my own baby. I printed some material from this website http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/
And another I can't recall. I'm sure he wanted his butt covered "just in case".
Saturday, August 25th I started having a lot of braxton hicks contractions. They weren't very stong or consistant, and then they just stopped. The same thing happend on Sunday night and all day Monday. I had a doctors appointment Tuesday... he checked me and I was 4cm dilated, 80 % effaced, and the baby was almost at 0 station. He went ahead and stripped my membranes and sent me home. After I got home I walked, and walked, and walked some more. At about 8 o'clock my contractions were coming pretty steady. They still weren't intensifying and were only lasting about 30 seconds though. At midnight they started getting a little stronger so I started debating on calling my mom to come watch the kids.... I waited about an hour and then they started slowing down and I fell asleep. I really think that my anxiety over not having child care when it was time was causing my labor to stall. My mom was at least an hour and a half away. In hindsight we could have taken the kids to the hospital until she got there but that would have left me alone so I didn't consider it. I woke up at 6:15 to get the kids ready for school... I was still contracting but again nothing strong and nothing consistant. I told Scott not to go to work because I was afraid of my labor hitting hard and fast and him not making it home in time. At 11:00 I decided to call my doctor to see what he thought. He told me to come into the office so he could check me and see what, if anything was going on. We went straight over and found that I was now 5cm and the baby was at 0 station. He sent me over to the hospital to be monitored. I had to go back by the house to get my bags then we got checked in at 12:30. My doctor came in at 12:45 and said he didn't think it would be wise to let me go home so he suggested we break my water to get things moving along... I agreed. Scott and I then started walking around the hospital. At 1:45 my doctor checked me and I was 6cm... my contraction still weren't painful at all so we walked some more. It was really nice. We went to the cafeteria to get Scott some lunch. At 3 my contractions started getting more uncomfortable. We called to make sure my mom got the kids got off of the bus okay then headed back to the room. At 3:15 I got in the whirlpool. I was half afraid not walking would slow my labor down but I really wanted the opportunity to use the bath this time... with Jacob and Summer I didn't have time.
While in the tub it got to where I couldn't talk or listen though a contraction. At about 4 I had two really painful ones. I started to feel a little nausious and told Scott to call for my nurse. I had two more before I could get to the bed. I could handle them okay while I was standing but when I had one lying down, when she was getting ready to check me, I thought I was going to DIE! I was thinking I was probably just now hitting transitions and I was going to be about 8cm... I was complete with a little anterior lip. The nurses all rushed out to call my doctor. When the next contraction hit I told Scott to tell them I was pushing and I couldn't stop! He hesitated for a second not wanting to leave me then ran out told them and ran back. As he came back in the baby started to crown... I had rolled over onto my left side and was birting my baby all by myself! I reached down with the next contraction and supported his head as I pushed. The nurses came in when the head was about half out. Once I delivered the head one of the nurses reached in to do something... I'm not quite sure what but then the next contraction came and she back off as I pushed him the rest of the way out... as soon as I started pushing that time we noticed the cord was wrapped loosely around his neck so as he came out I held his head and shoulders in my left hand, let his body slip onto the bed and removed the cord with my right.
Ronan was born on August 29th at 4:18 into his mommy's loving hands... how awesome is that! He was 3 weeks and 2 days early, weighed 5lbs 14.5 oz and was 19 inches long! It was absolutely amazing!
The nurses just handed me blankets to dry and stimulate him with... he cryed right away. They offered for me to suction him but I was afraid of being to timid to get him cleared out good and he sounded a little gooky.. so the nurse did it while I held him. We waited a good 5 minutes or so for the cord to stop pulsing before they clamped it and Scott cut it.
My doctor arrived at a little after 4:30.
They still ended up taking him for a few minutes before giving him back to nurse. My original plan wasn't specific on this... I didn't ask then for the delay in eye drops either. While I ate dinner they took him to the nursery, got him clean up, weighed, and measured then brought him right back. Then it went downhill a little. They were packed that night so they said I would be staying in my labor room instead of a recovery room. At about 3 in the morning they came in and said they needed my room. I would be moving to a semiprivate room and Scott would not be allowed to stay with me. I was heart broken. I didn't want to stay alone so Scott went back to our house with the big kids and my mom came up to the hospital. He came back at about 8. Our pediatrician ended up delaying our departure a little but we were home for dinner!
My pregnancy with Raiden was very stressful. The economy went in the toilet. They took away Scotts OT and we started getting nervous about him getting laid off. He ended up getting a job in WV... The town he grew up in. We put the house up for sale. He started July 13th... I wasn't due until September 13th. We decided the kids and I would stay in KY until the house sold or the baby was born which ever came first. Scott stayed at his Grandmas house in town that no one lived in. July 23rd after my drs appointment the kids and I went to visit. We got a call that day that we got and offer on our house. We went house hunting when we got there and found one perfect for our family. God is good. Our closings were set tentatively for August 24th and 30th. School was starting in WV on the 24th so they would miss the first day or two. Now where was I going to give birth????!!! I NEEDED to have this baby by the 22nd. I prayed. I desperately tried to convince my doctor, if my cervix was favorable to break my water, if I hadn't gone on my own by then! At my appointment on the 17th I was 3cm and 50% effaced. He scheduled me to come back in on Friday, he would strip my membranes but it was too early to break my water. I prayed some more.
Tuesday was pretty hectic. The kids had dentist appts at 8am then I had to take them to the health department to get TB test for school in WV. Ronan wasn't feeling good so I packed him around the whole time.
Wednesday was delivery day. As soon as I got up I ran to Sav A Lot for a few neccesities. The closing on our house had gotten moved up so I thought I might be in Winchester another week.
When Ronan went down for his nap I let Joshua sit with him while I took Jacob and Summer to Walmart for some things for the house.
After Ronan woke up we all went to The Childrens Place to get new jackets and a few new school clothes. Ronan still wasn't feeling good so eventhough I brought the stroller in, I still had to pack him. We also ran to Old Navy, and we had to stop back by Walmart for something I had forgotten earlier.
When we were leaving there I got a call from my realtor that I needed to stop by and sign the new contract. I signed it at 4:55pm. The office is next to a health foods store so I stopped in to pick up a couple of things that might help get things going. I needed a substitute since Scott wasn't in town and I couldn't take advantage of his prostaglandins!! Lol. Evening primrose is suppose to do the same thing and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea is suppose to help strengthen Braxton Hicks. I was talking to Scott on the way home and told him that maybe it was a good thing the closing got postponed because I didn't think I was going to go into labor by Sat and at least I'd still have a house to stay in. I said "I'm just not feeling it". But God always has his own plan, maybe I just needed to stop stressing about it.
When we got home I laid on the couch and Ronan was wallering all over me whining. It felt like he was running a fever so I gave him some Tylenol. Then he cuddled up on my belly. I was on the phone with Scott and I had a contraction. It was stronger than any of the others I had had thus far and I felt it "lower". I couldn't even follow the conversation we were having. This was at about 5:45. It seemed I bought those herbs for nothing!
I let Scott go and told him I was going to take a bath. I had another contraction then my stomach just started feeling taught and my lower back was aching. I called my sis at 6:24. She was going into work and I just wanted to let her know that I thought I might be going into labor. Called Scott at 6:36.
I updated FB at around 6:40 then got in the tub. It did help my back and let my uterus relax, then I started having regular contractions. At 6:53 I txt'd my babysitter and asked her if she could come stay the night with me just in case. She said she was eating dinner with her fam and then she would be over. I txt'd my sis at 7 and told her I had had 3 contractions since I had been in the tub and that I was going to try going for a walk. Usually if you're in false labor walking will make the contraction stop. If it's real labor it will intensify them. I called Scott back at 7:19. I had a couple of more in the tub then got out.
I got dressed in my labor clothes I had bought. It consisted of a black cotton skirt and a black nursing, sleep bra with a turquoise tank over it. I hate it that I didn't get a pic:( I put some make up on just in case. I think at this point I knew but wasn't admitting it to myself yet. I txt'd my sis again at 7:24. I told her I was going for my walk and not to worry about me, my babysitter was on her way. Called Scott at 7:29 told him I was going to let my phone charge while I walked. As I walked the contractions just kept coming.
I called my babysitter at around 8 from the kids phone to see what was keeping her and to tell her I thought tonight was going to be the night. She proceeded to tell me that she was STILL eating and that her car had been overheating. I'm thinking to myself "so grab a gallon of water and come on!". Or find some other way to get here. I told her that she knew my labors didn't take long so she needed to let me know if she wasn't coming! I walked a bit more, stopped and talked to a neighbor, then decided I needed to make other arrangements.
My neighbor across the street is a nurse at the hospital I was going to be delivering at(not a labor nurse but a nurse). Summer plays with her little girl. She's lived there for years. We've always been neighborly and I thought maybe I could count on her in a pinch. At almost 8:30 I knocked on her door and asked if her teenage daughter could come stay the night with my kids. She asked how I planned to get to the hospital and I said I guess I'll drive myself or call a cab. She pretty much said over her dead body. That she would take me and stay with me. I said Thank you!
At 8:35 I txt'd my sis and told her these contractions weren't going away. That I was going to try and sit for an hour and time them. I tried but I couldn't sit. They were coming pretty much one right after another. At 8:46 she told me I should call the dr. I was like, not yet, I don't want to get there too soon!
At 8:52 My babysitter txt'd me to tell me she couldn't make it!!
At 9:01 I told my sis I was going to call the dr because they were coming so fast. Ironically I called my neighbor at 9:11. Scott called at 9:15 I told him we were about to leave. At 9:17 we left for the hospital. It's less than a 10 minute drive and I had 4 or 5 contractions on the way. The admitting lady asked how close together they were and I said about two minutes and my friend said "If that!!!"
I opted to not wear a hospital gown and stayed in my labor clothes. The nurse checked me and put the monitors on me just long enough to record a couple of contractions and Raidens heart rate through them. I was 4-5cm and 100% effaced. This was at about 10. I updated Scott and my sis. Then she gave me a hep lock just in case I needed pitocin afterwards.
My dr wanted to be called when I was 7-8 since he missed it last time. We ran me a bath in the whirlpool tub. I asked the nurse to check me before I got in. I was 7cm. I had been drinking apple juice and got sick. This was at almost 10:30. I got in the tub and it was heaven. Any tension that I had between contractions melted away. I updated Scott, my sis and FB!
I'm not sure how long it took for Dr. P to get there but he and the nurses waited outside the room for me to get out of the tub when I was ready. I started feeling a little bit of pressure so I got out. The nurse chk'd me and listened to Raiden through a contraction just by holding the lead to my belly. No belts. I was 9cm. Dr. P broke my water. Then everyone left me to labor and push at my own pace. Except my friend of course.
It was 10:53 at this point. I called Scott and put him on speaker phone. With each contraction I would bear down just a little to try and get him to come down. I tried kneeling in the bed through a few but it was too uncomfortable and not working for me. I decided to get back out of the bed.
After a few contraction standing I began to feel a great deal more pressure and got back in the bed. I sat semi reclined resting on my left elbow. With the next contraction I grabbed my right ankle and the urge to GET THIS BABY OUT came over me! I told Scott he was almost here. My friend asked if she should get the dr and I shook my head yes as the next contraction overwhelmed any control that I had and I pushed Raidens head out. At that moment Dr. P and the nurses entered the room. One more push and Happy Birthday Raiden!!! Unfortunately they felt the needed to check him out quickly so I didn't get to cut the cord. Turns out there were no complications. Apparently the sight of poop really freaked my doctor out though! You'd think he'd be use to it!
I nursed him, then my friend went with him to the nursery for a few. We met back in my recovery room. She stayed until 1 or 2, then she needed to get some rest before her 7am shift. I didn't really like it but I was more prepared to be by myself this time and dealt with it. Raiden roomed in of course. Scott had to go into work so he didn't get to leave for his 8 hour drive until 3 or 4. His dad was driving him. I wasn't happy he wouldn't call in but he was worried about being a new employee. My mom and dad got to my house fairly early to relieve my friends daughter. They all came up to the hosp for a bit then my mom took the younger three home. My dad stayed until after dinner then he left and Joshua stay with me. Scott finally got there at about midnight. Our pediatrician was adamant that we had to stay at least 24 hours and since they wouldn't discharge me at night I had to stay a 2nd night. At a little after midnight they came and got him and said they needed to get his vitals. I dosed off after a bit... hours later he still wasn't back. I was very upset. I sent Scott to find out what was going on. They said they were waiting to get his hearing test. I was experiencing separation anxiety all over again and was sobbing. In the morning we had to wait on our pediatrician once again so we didn't get out of there until noon.
When I first got pregnant this time, I thought I would try a CNM in a hospital. I thought we would have these nice long appointments where we would get to know each other on a more personal level. This was not the case. I felt like I was just going to a female ob. I started getting nervous about what my experience would be like at this hospital. Afterall, I was at a VERY supportive hospital before and still had to deal with things not going my way. I asked Scott what he thought about doing a homebirth this time. He said he thought I was crazy. Then I had him watch Ricki Lake's documentary, The Business of Being Born. It completely changed his view. I think he'd be more afraid of taking me to the hospital at this point! I have found a wonderful midwife that spent 3 hours with me at our initial consultation. I am so exited to have an intimate labor with Scott in the comfort of our own home. To not have to get out of my nice warm tub to birth my baby. The only real pain I felt when in labor with Raiden was when I was being checked and when they were breaking my water. I may not have my midwife check me at all this time and we plan to let my water break on it's own. Hopefully I can achieve a true pain free birth! The waves of labor are not painful if you give in to them and do not fear them. Gods design is perfect if it is respected!
Birth Plan
Clark Regional Medical Center
August/September 2009
We realize that birth offers many surprises. We are more than willing to work with the staff should circumstances arise. These are our preferences if everything is going smoothly. We hope that you are willing to work with us. Thank you.
Labor:
Attendants: Dad and/or babysitter are the only ones permitted in the delivery room.
Setting: Please dim the lights and be as quiet as possible. Only ask me questions that others cannot answer.
Pain Relief: Please do not even mention pain medication, we will let you know if it becomes necessary.
IV: I prefer a heparin lock.
Position: I would like to be free to move about as I wish.
Cervical checks: Kept to a minimum and performed in a position other than flat on my back if in intense labor.
Monitoring: Continuous monitoring for a short time upon admission only please. A portable Doppler may be used if necessary thereafter.
Birth:
Position: I would like to try squatting/kneeling in the bed or whatever feels natural at the time.
Pushing: I would prefer to push spontaneously with contractions. Please no loud coaching , although quiet encouragement is welcomed.
Delivery: I would like to catch my own baby unless dad is present and wishes to.
Monitoring: Handheld Doppler only if pushing becomes prolonged please.
After Birth:
Suctioning: In my arms as necessary.
Drying: Please hand me a blanket and I will dry and stimulate my baby.
Cord cutting: Dad or I will cut the cord after it stops pulsing.
Placenta: Bed can be taken apart for delivery of placenta.
Bleeding: Please allow me to try breastfeeding before pitocin is administered.
Baby Care:
Newborn Assessment, ect.: Please do not take my baby from me unless necessary until after I have breastfed to help minimize my bleeding. Perform all assessments possible in my arms.
Eye Ointment: I would like to forgo the administration of eye prophylactics but if deemed necessary I would like to delay at least one hour.
Rooming: I would prefer my baby not be taken to the nursery unless absolutely necessary.
Warming: Skin to skin with a warm blanket covering both of us. I would be willing to take the baby’s temperature periodically and if it drops to low, allow him to be taken to the nursery for warming.
Weighing: I would like to accompany my baby when taken to be weighed.
Bathing: I would prefer to bath my baby in my room. Again, I will do temperature monitoring.
Visitors: Only allowed in mother-baby room once we are settled.
Discharge:
After PKU screening, about 24 hours after birth.
Please discuss with us any of our request that you are unable to accommodate.
Thank You,
It was edited slightly between Ronan and Raiden but not much. I took out the part where I wanted to give the first bath. I really wanted to, but it was just something I ended up compromising. I considered a homebirth but I had been through so much with my dr at that point I thought I'd present him with my plan and see how he reacted.... He didn't bat an eye. He did ask that I bring in some research on catching my own baby. I printed some material from this website http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/
And another I can't recall. I'm sure he wanted his butt covered "just in case".
Saturday, August 25th I started having a lot of braxton hicks contractions. They weren't very stong or consistant, and then they just stopped. The same thing happend on Sunday night and all day Monday. I had a doctors appointment Tuesday... he checked me and I was 4cm dilated, 80 % effaced, and the baby was almost at 0 station. He went ahead and stripped my membranes and sent me home. After I got home I walked, and walked, and walked some more. At about 8 o'clock my contractions were coming pretty steady. They still weren't intensifying and were only lasting about 30 seconds though. At midnight they started getting a little stronger so I started debating on calling my mom to come watch the kids.... I waited about an hour and then they started slowing down and I fell asleep. I really think that my anxiety over not having child care when it was time was causing my labor to stall. My mom was at least an hour and a half away. In hindsight we could have taken the kids to the hospital until she got there but that would have left me alone so I didn't consider it. I woke up at 6:15 to get the kids ready for school... I was still contracting but again nothing strong and nothing consistant. I told Scott not to go to work because I was afraid of my labor hitting hard and fast and him not making it home in time. At 11:00 I decided to call my doctor to see what he thought. He told me to come into the office so he could check me and see what, if anything was going on. We went straight over and found that I was now 5cm and the baby was at 0 station. He sent me over to the hospital to be monitored. I had to go back by the house to get my bags then we got checked in at 12:30. My doctor came in at 12:45 and said he didn't think it would be wise to let me go home so he suggested we break my water to get things moving along... I agreed. Scott and I then started walking around the hospital. At 1:45 my doctor checked me and I was 6cm... my contraction still weren't painful at all so we walked some more. It was really nice. We went to the cafeteria to get Scott some lunch. At 3 my contractions started getting more uncomfortable. We called to make sure my mom got the kids got off of the bus okay then headed back to the room. At 3:15 I got in the whirlpool. I was half afraid not walking would slow my labor down but I really wanted the opportunity to use the bath this time... with Jacob and Summer I didn't have time.
While in the tub it got to where I couldn't talk or listen though a contraction. At about 4 I had two really painful ones. I started to feel a little nausious and told Scott to call for my nurse. I had two more before I could get to the bed. I could handle them okay while I was standing but when I had one lying down, when she was getting ready to check me, I thought I was going to DIE! I was thinking I was probably just now hitting transitions and I was going to be about 8cm... I was complete with a little anterior lip. The nurses all rushed out to call my doctor. When the next contraction hit I told Scott to tell them I was pushing and I couldn't stop! He hesitated for a second not wanting to leave me then ran out told them and ran back. As he came back in the baby started to crown... I had rolled over onto my left side and was birting my baby all by myself! I reached down with the next contraction and supported his head as I pushed. The nurses came in when the head was about half out. Once I delivered the head one of the nurses reached in to do something... I'm not quite sure what but then the next contraction came and she back off as I pushed him the rest of the way out... as soon as I started pushing that time we noticed the cord was wrapped loosely around his neck so as he came out I held his head and shoulders in my left hand, let his body slip onto the bed and removed the cord with my right.
Ronan was born on August 29th at 4:18 into his mommy's loving hands... how awesome is that! He was 3 weeks and 2 days early, weighed 5lbs 14.5 oz and was 19 inches long! It was absolutely amazing!
The nurses just handed me blankets to dry and stimulate him with... he cryed right away. They offered for me to suction him but I was afraid of being to timid to get him cleared out good and he sounded a little gooky.. so the nurse did it while I held him. We waited a good 5 minutes or so for the cord to stop pulsing before they clamped it and Scott cut it.
My doctor arrived at a little after 4:30.
They still ended up taking him for a few minutes before giving him back to nurse. My original plan wasn't specific on this... I didn't ask then for the delay in eye drops either. While I ate dinner they took him to the nursery, got him clean up, weighed, and measured then brought him right back. Then it went downhill a little. They were packed that night so they said I would be staying in my labor room instead of a recovery room. At about 3 in the morning they came in and said they needed my room. I would be moving to a semiprivate room and Scott would not be allowed to stay with me. I was heart broken. I didn't want to stay alone so Scott went back to our house with the big kids and my mom came up to the hospital. He came back at about 8. Our pediatrician ended up delaying our departure a little but we were home for dinner!
My pregnancy with Raiden was very stressful. The economy went in the toilet. They took away Scotts OT and we started getting nervous about him getting laid off. He ended up getting a job in WV... The town he grew up in. We put the house up for sale. He started July 13th... I wasn't due until September 13th. We decided the kids and I would stay in KY until the house sold or the baby was born which ever came first. Scott stayed at his Grandmas house in town that no one lived in. July 23rd after my drs appointment the kids and I went to visit. We got a call that day that we got and offer on our house. We went house hunting when we got there and found one perfect for our family. God is good. Our closings were set tentatively for August 24th and 30th. School was starting in WV on the 24th so they would miss the first day or two. Now where was I going to give birth????!!! I NEEDED to have this baby by the 22nd. I prayed. I desperately tried to convince my doctor, if my cervix was favorable to break my water, if I hadn't gone on my own by then! At my appointment on the 17th I was 3cm and 50% effaced. He scheduled me to come back in on Friday, he would strip my membranes but it was too early to break my water. I prayed some more.
Tuesday was pretty hectic. The kids had dentist appts at 8am then I had to take them to the health department to get TB test for school in WV. Ronan wasn't feeling good so I packed him around the whole time.
Wednesday was delivery day. As soon as I got up I ran to Sav A Lot for a few neccesities. The closing on our house had gotten moved up so I thought I might be in Winchester another week.
When Ronan went down for his nap I let Joshua sit with him while I took Jacob and Summer to Walmart for some things for the house.
After Ronan woke up we all went to The Childrens Place to get new jackets and a few new school clothes. Ronan still wasn't feeling good so eventhough I brought the stroller in, I still had to pack him. We also ran to Old Navy, and we had to stop back by Walmart for something I had forgotten earlier.
When we were leaving there I got a call from my realtor that I needed to stop by and sign the new contract. I signed it at 4:55pm. The office is next to a health foods store so I stopped in to pick up a couple of things that might help get things going. I needed a substitute since Scott wasn't in town and I couldn't take advantage of his prostaglandins!! Lol. Evening primrose is suppose to do the same thing and Red Raspberry Leaf Tea is suppose to help strengthen Braxton Hicks. I was talking to Scott on the way home and told him that maybe it was a good thing the closing got postponed because I didn't think I was going to go into labor by Sat and at least I'd still have a house to stay in. I said "I'm just not feeling it". But God always has his own plan, maybe I just needed to stop stressing about it.
When we got home I laid on the couch and Ronan was wallering all over me whining. It felt like he was running a fever so I gave him some Tylenol. Then he cuddled up on my belly. I was on the phone with Scott and I had a contraction. It was stronger than any of the others I had had thus far and I felt it "lower". I couldn't even follow the conversation we were having. This was at about 5:45. It seemed I bought those herbs for nothing!
I let Scott go and told him I was going to take a bath. I had another contraction then my stomach just started feeling taught and my lower back was aching. I called my sis at 6:24. She was going into work and I just wanted to let her know that I thought I might be going into labor. Called Scott at 6:36.
I updated FB at around 6:40 then got in the tub. It did help my back and let my uterus relax, then I started having regular contractions. At 6:53 I txt'd my babysitter and asked her if she could come stay the night with me just in case. She said she was eating dinner with her fam and then she would be over. I txt'd my sis at 7 and told her I had had 3 contractions since I had been in the tub and that I was going to try going for a walk. Usually if you're in false labor walking will make the contraction stop. If it's real labor it will intensify them. I called Scott back at 7:19. I had a couple of more in the tub then got out.
I got dressed in my labor clothes I had bought. It consisted of a black cotton skirt and a black nursing, sleep bra with a turquoise tank over it. I hate it that I didn't get a pic:( I put some make up on just in case. I think at this point I knew but wasn't admitting it to myself yet. I txt'd my sis again at 7:24. I told her I was going for my walk and not to worry about me, my babysitter was on her way. Called Scott at 7:29 told him I was going to let my phone charge while I walked. As I walked the contractions just kept coming.
I called my babysitter at around 8 from the kids phone to see what was keeping her and to tell her I thought tonight was going to be the night. She proceeded to tell me that she was STILL eating and that her car had been overheating. I'm thinking to myself "so grab a gallon of water and come on!". Or find some other way to get here. I told her that she knew my labors didn't take long so she needed to let me know if she wasn't coming! I walked a bit more, stopped and talked to a neighbor, then decided I needed to make other arrangements.
My neighbor across the street is a nurse at the hospital I was going to be delivering at(not a labor nurse but a nurse). Summer plays with her little girl. She's lived there for years. We've always been neighborly and I thought maybe I could count on her in a pinch. At almost 8:30 I knocked on her door and asked if her teenage daughter could come stay the night with my kids. She asked how I planned to get to the hospital and I said I guess I'll drive myself or call a cab. She pretty much said over her dead body. That she would take me and stay with me. I said Thank you!
At 8:35 I txt'd my sis and told her these contractions weren't going away. That I was going to try and sit for an hour and time them. I tried but I couldn't sit. They were coming pretty much one right after another. At 8:46 she told me I should call the dr. I was like, not yet, I don't want to get there too soon!
At 8:52 My babysitter txt'd me to tell me she couldn't make it!!
At 9:01 I told my sis I was going to call the dr because they were coming so fast. Ironically I called my neighbor at 9:11. Scott called at 9:15 I told him we were about to leave. At 9:17 we left for the hospital. It's less than a 10 minute drive and I had 4 or 5 contractions on the way. The admitting lady asked how close together they were and I said about two minutes and my friend said "If that!!!"
I opted to not wear a hospital gown and stayed in my labor clothes. The nurse checked me and put the monitors on me just long enough to record a couple of contractions and Raidens heart rate through them. I was 4-5cm and 100% effaced. This was at about 10. I updated Scott and my sis. Then she gave me a hep lock just in case I needed pitocin afterwards.
My dr wanted to be called when I was 7-8 since he missed it last time. We ran me a bath in the whirlpool tub. I asked the nurse to check me before I got in. I was 7cm. I had been drinking apple juice and got sick. This was at almost 10:30. I got in the tub and it was heaven. Any tension that I had between contractions melted away. I updated Scott, my sis and FB!
I'm not sure how long it took for Dr. P to get there but he and the nurses waited outside the room for me to get out of the tub when I was ready. I started feeling a little bit of pressure so I got out. The nurse chk'd me and listened to Raiden through a contraction just by holding the lead to my belly. No belts. I was 9cm. Dr. P broke my water. Then everyone left me to labor and push at my own pace. Except my friend of course.
It was 10:53 at this point. I called Scott and put him on speaker phone. With each contraction I would bear down just a little to try and get him to come down. I tried kneeling in the bed through a few but it was too uncomfortable and not working for me. I decided to get back out of the bed.
After a few contraction standing I began to feel a great deal more pressure and got back in the bed. I sat semi reclined resting on my left elbow. With the next contraction I grabbed my right ankle and the urge to GET THIS BABY OUT came over me! I told Scott he was almost here. My friend asked if she should get the dr and I shook my head yes as the next contraction overwhelmed any control that I had and I pushed Raidens head out. At that moment Dr. P and the nurses entered the room. One more push and Happy Birthday Raiden!!! Unfortunately they felt the needed to check him out quickly so I didn't get to cut the cord. Turns out there were no complications. Apparently the sight of poop really freaked my doctor out though! You'd think he'd be use to it!
I nursed him, then my friend went with him to the nursery for a few. We met back in my recovery room. She stayed until 1 or 2, then she needed to get some rest before her 7am shift. I didn't really like it but I was more prepared to be by myself this time and dealt with it. Raiden roomed in of course. Scott had to go into work so he didn't get to leave for his 8 hour drive until 3 or 4. His dad was driving him. I wasn't happy he wouldn't call in but he was worried about being a new employee. My mom and dad got to my house fairly early to relieve my friends daughter. They all came up to the hosp for a bit then my mom took the younger three home. My dad stayed until after dinner then he left and Joshua stay with me. Scott finally got there at about midnight. Our pediatrician was adamant that we had to stay at least 24 hours and since they wouldn't discharge me at night I had to stay a 2nd night. At a little after midnight they came and got him and said they needed to get his vitals. I dosed off after a bit... hours later he still wasn't back. I was very upset. I sent Scott to find out what was going on. They said they were waiting to get his hearing test. I was experiencing separation anxiety all over again and was sobbing. In the morning we had to wait on our pediatrician once again so we didn't get out of there until noon.
When I first got pregnant this time, I thought I would try a CNM in a hospital. I thought we would have these nice long appointments where we would get to know each other on a more personal level. This was not the case. I felt like I was just going to a female ob. I started getting nervous about what my experience would be like at this hospital. Afterall, I was at a VERY supportive hospital before and still had to deal with things not going my way. I asked Scott what he thought about doing a homebirth this time. He said he thought I was crazy. Then I had him watch Ricki Lake's documentary, The Business of Being Born. It completely changed his view. I think he'd be more afraid of taking me to the hospital at this point! I have found a wonderful midwife that spent 3 hours with me at our initial consultation. I am so exited to have an intimate labor with Scott in the comfort of our own home. To not have to get out of my nice warm tub to birth my baby. The only real pain I felt when in labor with Raiden was when I was being checked and when they were breaking my water. I may not have my midwife check me at all this time and we plan to let my water break on it's own. Hopefully I can achieve a true pain free birth! The waves of labor are not painful if you give in to them and do not fear them. Gods design is perfect if it is respected!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
You got to have Faith
I've touched a little on my struggles with faith but I thought I'd go into a little more detail. I grew up going to a United Baptist church. They are very old fashion... I was baptized in a creek and once a year they do foot washings. We went every Wednesday, twice on Sunday, and once a month on Saturday.
When Scott and I first got married and were both working and going to college... I quit going to church. It wasn't until long after we moved to Winchester that I even considered going back. It was 2004, I was at a good friend of mines house when there was a knock at the door. It was a pastor from a nearby Independent Baptist church. My friend invited him in and he began to talk to us about being saved. I told him that I had been saved when I was young and he didn't question it. My friend on the other hand had not. They knelt and prayed right there in her livingroom floor and I felt the spirit just as much there as I had ever in church. She was saved that day. We started going to church there the following Sunday.
Scott was christened Catholic when he was a baby but never went to a Catholic Church really. He grew up going to a Methodist Church. He wasn't saved though. Him and I had had an "issue" in our marriage since the beginning. The first service that we went to at Landmark was about this topic. Scott felt like God was talking directly to him through this man at the podium. He vowed that day to the Lord and me that it would never be an issue again. With His help it hasn't been to this day! Shortly after, he was saved and baptized. We went regularly for a while then winter rolled around. With three kids it seemed like somebody was always sick so we started slacking.
Then in January of 2005, our family was struck with a horrible tragedy that I won't go into detail about. We had already faced the death of a child in our family. My 2 1/2 year old niece fell into a backyard swimming pool and drowned in 1996. She was in the hospital in a coma for seven long days before my brother and SIL had to make the heart wrenching decision to take her off life support. I was mad at God and didn't understand how He could let such horrible things happen. We quit going to church again all together.
In October of 2008, my 6 year old niece... Who was just 3 weeks older than my only daughter... Was diagnosed with Leukemia. This time I wasn't mad at God... I began to question his very existence. I could no longer recall the feeling of His spirit. I couldn't even pray.
She went into remission after some intense chemo. Unfortunately, while still in treatment she relapsed in Jan 2010. My SIL had started regularly posting on a caring bridge website to keep everyone updated. Her faith and strength were so great. Little by little I was inspired by her continued love for the Lord. I started to feel that love creep back into my own heart. In June they realized there was nothing more that could be done. My brother baptized her in their pool... She died a week later on July 17th.
My Aunt had had brain surgery to remove a softball size tumor years ago. In 2009 she started having symptoms again and was found to have multiple tumors this time. She had a stroke and they called in hospice and gave her 6 months to live. 6 months came and went yet she still hung on. The day we buried my niece my mom got a call from the nursing home that my aunt had taken a turn for the worse. The next day my mom called and said she was hanging on by a thread. I asked her if she had told her that our niece had passed.. She said no that she wasn't coherent. A few hours went by and she decided to go ahead and tell her. She died within the hour.
Everyone is probably thinking, "how horrible, two funerals in one week". Yes it was emotionally hard. But my Aunt hadn't had any quality of life for a long time. It was in the summer time so my kids were out of school. We had to drive 8 hours to Louisville. Scott ended up having just enough vacation time to cover the time we ended up having to be gone. So in a way it was a blessing that my aunt passed when she did.
On our way home the kids were watching a movie in the van. Scott and I were talking about God. I was remarking about how troubled times were bound to come again. I wanted to be prepared for whatever comes our way the way my SIL was. Our DVD players sound comes through our radio. At that moment, as clear as could be, a Christian music channel started playing instead of the movie. The song that was on was about gaining strength through God during difficult times. We didn't speak. We just sat silently with tears in our eyes as we listened to His Word come through the airwaves. I felt the spirit fill our van and my heart greater than I had ever experienced in my whole life. No one can ever tell me God doesn't like contemporary Christian music!
I made my own vow that day, to never again doubt the Lord! I realized that when bad people do bad things, we shouldn't be mad at God. We should be mad along with Him! After all, they are sinning against Him. Also, We aren't always going to like or understand Gods plan. We just have to trust in him. There is a movie called "Letters to God" http://www.letterstogodthemovie.com/ It is a true story about a little boy who had brain cancer. He ends up dying but helps bring a lot of people closer to God through letters he wrote to Him while he was sick. It was release to DVD a month after my nieces death. Kids like her and Tyler had a greater purpose. Sometimes Gods work takes suffering... Look at Jesus!
When we got home I started reading the Bible and looking for a church. I really struggled with finding a church that I felt suits me. I had prayed about it a lot. Then while reading the bible one night I came across this passage..
1 Corinthians 1:12-13 (NIV)
What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas "; still another, "I follow Christ." [13] Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul?
This tells me it doesn't matter what kind of church you go to as long as you accept Jesus and live your life by following Christs example. Doing Gods work and spreading His word.
We decided since we are living in the town Scott is from, we would try the church he grew up going to. For various reasons, going to church there didn't end up working out.
I was determined even without a home church God was still going to be a central part of our lives. We were going to strive everyday to be better Christians.. Become more Christ-like. I searched online and found a Character Building for Families lesson book, http://www.characterbuildingforfamilies.com/ that focuses on enhancing the fruits of the spirit in your life. I also read the Duggars book, http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/141658563X/ref=mp_s_a_6?qid=1294947693&sr=8-6 which was very encouraging and inspirational. I decided to try something they recommended... Chore packs, http://www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1150 It gives the kids a chance to practice and apply our lessons to their lives daily. We had chores before, but now they have more purpose and meaning than just getting the house clean. I've always heard people say, "Kids should come with an instruction manual." They do.... It's called the Bible!!
I learned another valuable lesson from the Duggars. The best way to increase your own faith and the faith of others, is to look for ways God has worked in your life and share it. You'll be surprised how many things there are, no matter how small, when you really look. Just remember, there are no such things as coincidences or luck. Only Gods hand and blessings. For instance, we were suppose to leave for Louisville the day after Christmas. The weather report was bad so we decided to wait. Very disappointed, Summer came to me and asked, "Why does God have to make bad weather?". I told her I guess He doesn't want somebody on the the road. We just have to trust Him. A couple of hours later Scott ended up having diarrhea. I said to Summer, "See! I told you He knows what He's doing!"
When Scott and I first got married and were both working and going to college... I quit going to church. It wasn't until long after we moved to Winchester that I even considered going back. It was 2004, I was at a good friend of mines house when there was a knock at the door. It was a pastor from a nearby Independent Baptist church. My friend invited him in and he began to talk to us about being saved. I told him that I had been saved when I was young and he didn't question it. My friend on the other hand had not. They knelt and prayed right there in her livingroom floor and I felt the spirit just as much there as I had ever in church. She was saved that day. We started going to church there the following Sunday.
Scott was christened Catholic when he was a baby but never went to a Catholic Church really. He grew up going to a Methodist Church. He wasn't saved though. Him and I had had an "issue" in our marriage since the beginning. The first service that we went to at Landmark was about this topic. Scott felt like God was talking directly to him through this man at the podium. He vowed that day to the Lord and me that it would never be an issue again. With His help it hasn't been to this day! Shortly after, he was saved and baptized. We went regularly for a while then winter rolled around. With three kids it seemed like somebody was always sick so we started slacking.
Then in January of 2005, our family was struck with a horrible tragedy that I won't go into detail about. We had already faced the death of a child in our family. My 2 1/2 year old niece fell into a backyard swimming pool and drowned in 1996. She was in the hospital in a coma for seven long days before my brother and SIL had to make the heart wrenching decision to take her off life support. I was mad at God and didn't understand how He could let such horrible things happen. We quit going to church again all together.
In October of 2008, my 6 year old niece... Who was just 3 weeks older than my only daughter... Was diagnosed with Leukemia. This time I wasn't mad at God... I began to question his very existence. I could no longer recall the feeling of His spirit. I couldn't even pray.
She went into remission after some intense chemo. Unfortunately, while still in treatment she relapsed in Jan 2010. My SIL had started regularly posting on a caring bridge website to keep everyone updated. Her faith and strength were so great. Little by little I was inspired by her continued love for the Lord. I started to feel that love creep back into my own heart. In June they realized there was nothing more that could be done. My brother baptized her in their pool... She died a week later on July 17th.
My Aunt had had brain surgery to remove a softball size tumor years ago. In 2009 she started having symptoms again and was found to have multiple tumors this time. She had a stroke and they called in hospice and gave her 6 months to live. 6 months came and went yet she still hung on. The day we buried my niece my mom got a call from the nursing home that my aunt had taken a turn for the worse. The next day my mom called and said she was hanging on by a thread. I asked her if she had told her that our niece had passed.. She said no that she wasn't coherent. A few hours went by and she decided to go ahead and tell her. She died within the hour.
Everyone is probably thinking, "how horrible, two funerals in one week". Yes it was emotionally hard. But my Aunt hadn't had any quality of life for a long time. It was in the summer time so my kids were out of school. We had to drive 8 hours to Louisville. Scott ended up having just enough vacation time to cover the time we ended up having to be gone. So in a way it was a blessing that my aunt passed when she did.
On our way home the kids were watching a movie in the van. Scott and I were talking about God. I was remarking about how troubled times were bound to come again. I wanted to be prepared for whatever comes our way the way my SIL was. Our DVD players sound comes through our radio. At that moment, as clear as could be, a Christian music channel started playing instead of the movie. The song that was on was about gaining strength through God during difficult times. We didn't speak. We just sat silently with tears in our eyes as we listened to His Word come through the airwaves. I felt the spirit fill our van and my heart greater than I had ever experienced in my whole life. No one can ever tell me God doesn't like contemporary Christian music!
I made my own vow that day, to never again doubt the Lord! I realized that when bad people do bad things, we shouldn't be mad at God. We should be mad along with Him! After all, they are sinning against Him. Also, We aren't always going to like or understand Gods plan. We just have to trust in him. There is a movie called "Letters to God" http://www.letterstogodthemovie.com/ It is a true story about a little boy who had brain cancer. He ends up dying but helps bring a lot of people closer to God through letters he wrote to Him while he was sick. It was release to DVD a month after my nieces death. Kids like her and Tyler had a greater purpose. Sometimes Gods work takes suffering... Look at Jesus!
When we got home I started reading the Bible and looking for a church. I really struggled with finding a church that I felt suits me. I had prayed about it a lot. Then while reading the bible one night I came across this passage..
1 Corinthians 1:12-13 (NIV)
What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas "; still another, "I follow Christ." [13] Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul?
This tells me it doesn't matter what kind of church you go to as long as you accept Jesus and live your life by following Christs example. Doing Gods work and spreading His word.
We decided since we are living in the town Scott is from, we would try the church he grew up going to. For various reasons, going to church there didn't end up working out.
I was determined even without a home church God was still going to be a central part of our lives. We were going to strive everyday to be better Christians.. Become more Christ-like. I searched online and found a Character Building for Families lesson book, http://www.characterbuildingforfamilies.com/ that focuses on enhancing the fruits of the spirit in your life. I also read the Duggars book, http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/141658563X/ref=mp_s_a_6?qid=1294947693&sr=8-6 which was very encouraging and inspirational. I decided to try something they recommended... Chore packs, http://www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1150 It gives the kids a chance to practice and apply our lessons to their lives daily. We had chores before, but now they have more purpose and meaning than just getting the house clean. I've always heard people say, "Kids should come with an instruction manual." They do.... It's called the Bible!!
I learned another valuable lesson from the Duggars. The best way to increase your own faith and the faith of others, is to look for ways God has worked in your life and share it. You'll be surprised how many things there are, no matter how small, when you really look. Just remember, there are no such things as coincidences or luck. Only Gods hand and blessings. For instance, we were suppose to leave for Louisville the day after Christmas. The weather report was bad so we decided to wait. Very disappointed, Summer came to me and asked, "Why does God have to make bad weather?". I told her I guess He doesn't want somebody on the the road. We just have to trust Him. A couple of hours later Scott ended up having diarrhea. I said to Summer, "See! I told you He knows what He's doing!"
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Thank goodness I'm not fertile!
I've always had irregular periods. When I was 18 I went to the dr because I had been experiencing some pain. They did an ultrasound and some blood work. I came back in for my follow up and was told I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I would probably be infertile. We weren't really ready to have kids yet but, being a young newlywed this news devastated me. We had only been married 6 months. I decided to go off of birth control and put it in fates(Gods) hands. If I was going to have trouble getting pregnant, I didn't want to miss any opportunities. I wanted to be a mom someday more than anything. Two years went by. I maybe had 5 periods in that time. Scott and I started talking about other options for starting a family. I had been feeling like I was going to start for a couple of weeks. My sister suggested I take a pregnancy test. I did and it was positive!
After Joshua was born, we again decided not to use any birth control. When his 2nd birthday started getting close, I began to think that getting pregnant the 1st time was a fluke. Maybe I was going to need help this time. I made an appointment with an ob/gyn to discuss trying clomid. Again, I started feeling like I was having prolonged PMS. I decided to take a test... POSITIVE!!!
I had to call the drs office and change it from a consult to a prenatal visit. I don't know what happened with Summer. I nursed Jacob for 4 months, then BAM! I was pregnant again!
No period or anything. In November of 2004 when Summer was 2 we decided to really start trying again. Unfortunately in January we had some major family issues so we pushed off going to the dr. Although we still weren't doing anything to prevent getting pregnant. January of 2006 I took my first round of clomid. We did 3 rounds with no luck. My dr then sent me to a fertility specialist. We did 3 more rounds. The dosage on the last one really messed with me. I had visual disturbances and all kinds of weird side effects. Not to mention the mood swings and hot flashes. Between the stress of it all and the meds me and Scott almost didn't make it. I felt like no one understood. That because I already had 3 kids, I should be happy and it shouldn't bother me if I couldn't have another. After all there were people out there who didn't, couldn't have any. I felt a little selfish in a way. But at the same time there was this drive in me that said I wasn't done yet. If a pro sports player gets injured and can't play anymore, should he be any less devastated because he got to play for a while? But he wasn't ready to retire! That's the best way I can describe it. In August Scott and I really started having problems. But lucky for me my hubby loves me very much and did everything to make it work. I'll have to admit I had thrown in the towel. There were other factors other than my fertility issues. I think that just made things worse. Made me emotionally unstable. It ended up being a good thing. We laid everything out on the table and have been closer every since. By the end of the year we had ironed out all the wrinkles... More on that later. I went to the dr in January. He decided to do a laparoscopy to see if there were any physical reasons I wasn't getting pregnant. I had a blood pregnancy test on Tuesday and surgery on Friday. Everything looked fine. In February I found out I was pregnant again!
God knew when we were ready... When we had just started this new chapter in our marriage. I was actually about 4 weeks when i had the surgery. The egg must have implanted between Tuesday and Friday. God is good. I nursed Ronan for eleven months. I still didn't feel like I was done. There are 5 years between him and Summer and I wanted just one more so that he could have a sibling close in age. Or at least that's the excuse I tell myself. In October I started feeling like maybe I was getting another kidney stone so I went to my urologist and got a CT scan. He said it looked like my uterus might be a little enlarged and that I may have an ovarian cyst. So I went to my gyno and got an ultrasound. Other than my polycystic ovaries that we already knew about everything looked fine once again. I still hadn't had a period since Ronan was born so he went ahead and gave me something to make me start. We also talked about me getting pregnant again. He said that if i wanted to we could try clomid again. I was torn because if we were going to have another i wanted it to happen soon before the age gap got too big. It was November 12th when I finally started. I was suppose to go back to the dr in December for my annual but couldn't make up my mind about the clomid so I canceled. I didn't think I could go through that again. Clomid is hell! New years eve I had some cramping on my left side and then on new years day I had some spotting. I thought I was starting but when there was nothing the next day I thought maybe I had ovulated and of course Scott and I had rang in the new year! I went to Bunco Friday night and had a couple of beers( oops)! That night I had a dream about taking a test but the stick didn't work. I didn't think too much about it and went to Louisville Saturday. On the way home Sunday I was cramping a little and rubbed my belly. I was pretty sure I could feel a little bump. (I found out the same way with Summer) I came home and went straight to the bathroom. I always have tests around. Scott was giving Ronan a bath in our bathroom so I grabbed a test off the shelf and told Scott I was going to take it. It immediately came up positive!
Raiden was born 10 days before Ronans 2nd birthday. He nursed for 12 1/2 months. We thought at first he'd be our last but had started thinking about another. My niece had relapsed with Leukemia in January so it really didn't seem like a good time. Of course we still weren't preventing. Between losing one niece in 96, the events of 05, and her illness, I had seriously started doubting God. My SILs faith remained strong though. Through her caring bridge posts and conversations, my own faith was restored. My niece passed in July but I did not question His wisdom. Three days later, my aunt passed.. I still didn't waiver. I was having some cramping on August 27th. I took a test but it was negative. Raiden quit nursing on his own September 1st. On labor day Joshua made a comment about me looking poochy... I thought either I'm about to start.... Which I hadn't since Raidens birth, or I am pregnant. That evening, after we got home from a cookout, I took another test. Our sixth blessing is on it's way! I'm due May 18.
Mark 10:27 (NIV)
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."
God knew when we were ready... When we had just started this new chapter in our marriage. I was actually about 4 weeks when i had the surgery. The egg must have implanted between Tuesday and Friday. God is good. I nursed Ronan for eleven months. I still didn't feel like I was done. There are 5 years between him and Summer and I wanted just one more so that he could have a sibling close in age. Or at least that's the excuse I tell myself. In October I started feeling like maybe I was getting another kidney stone so I went to my urologist and got a CT scan. He said it looked like my uterus might be a little enlarged and that I may have an ovarian cyst. So I went to my gyno and got an ultrasound. Other than my polycystic ovaries that we already knew about everything looked fine once again. I still hadn't had a period since Ronan was born so he went ahead and gave me something to make me start. We also talked about me getting pregnant again. He said that if i wanted to we could try clomid again. I was torn because if we were going to have another i wanted it to happen soon before the age gap got too big. It was November 12th when I finally started. I was suppose to go back to the dr in December for my annual but couldn't make up my mind about the clomid so I canceled. I didn't think I could go through that again. Clomid is hell! New years eve I had some cramping on my left side and then on new years day I had some spotting. I thought I was starting but when there was nothing the next day I thought maybe I had ovulated and of course Scott and I had rang in the new year! I went to Bunco Friday night and had a couple of beers( oops)! That night I had a dream about taking a test but the stick didn't work. I didn't think too much about it and went to Louisville Saturday. On the way home Sunday I was cramping a little and rubbed my belly. I was pretty sure I could feel a little bump. (I found out the same way with Summer) I came home and went straight to the bathroom. I always have tests around. Scott was giving Ronan a bath in our bathroom so I grabbed a test off the shelf and told Scott I was going to take it. It immediately came up positive!
Raiden was born 10 days before Ronans 2nd birthday. He nursed for 12 1/2 months. We thought at first he'd be our last but had started thinking about another. My niece had relapsed with Leukemia in January so it really didn't seem like a good time. Of course we still weren't preventing. Between losing one niece in 96, the events of 05, and her illness, I had seriously started doubting God. My SILs faith remained strong though. Through her caring bridge posts and conversations, my own faith was restored. My niece passed in July but I did not question His wisdom. Three days later, my aunt passed.. I still didn't waiver. I was having some cramping on August 27th. I took a test but it was negative. Raiden quit nursing on his own September 1st. On labor day Joshua made a comment about me looking poochy... I thought either I'm about to start.... Which I hadn't since Raidens birth, or I am pregnant. That evening, after we got home from a cookout, I took another test. Our sixth blessing is on it's way! I'm due May 18.
Mark 10:27 (NIV)
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Career: CPA to RN to SAHM
My senior year I took a business class and Co-oped at the Board of Education. I decided then to go to college to be a CPA. I took the summer off then started JCC in the fall to complete my gen ed. Meanwhile, Scott decided to go back to school himself. He enrolled at Louisville Tech. I waited tables at Steak n Shake and Scott changed tires at Sears. In the spring of 97 we were flooded out of our tiny, one bedroom apartment. We began renting a cute little two bedroom house but it had NO central air. Scott graduated with an associates in mechanical design drafting and started working at Cardinal Aluminum for $10 per hour. I finished my gen ed on schedule, applied, and was accepted to UofLs school of business in the fall. I was sitting in my first class and the teacher asked everyone why they chose accounting. The guy before me said, "I chose it because it was one of the higher paid jobs at career day. I don't really like it but I'm almost done". He was a couple semesters ahead of me. I felt my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. WAS this what I really wanted to do the rest of my life? Everyday 9-5? Sure I was good with numbers... But could I really sit behind a desk all day. I don't remember my response exactly but I choked down my fear. I decided to just concentrate on school.
On November 8th I got a big fat positive on a pregnancy test! I was suppose to be infertile... But that's another post. I enrolled for spring classes and decided to co-op for the tax season with Jackson-Hewitt. You would think being pregnant I would be happy to sit all day instead of being on my feet. I was good at it. It just didn't feel right. God had put my answer in my belly, I just didn't know it yet. All I could think about was being pregnant and having that tiny newborn in that hot little house in the middle of the summer. My Papaw died in April and after 30 years in the same house, my parents decided to upgrade. After all this was going to be their 6th grandchild (eventhough we had lost one in 96.) The family was just getting too big for that house. They decided to rent it to us... My AC prayers had been answered.
My first was born June 30, 1998. We had saved up enough money for me to stay home for 12 weeks. I decided to take the fall off from school as well. Around October I went back to work at Steak n Shake. Taking care of this little person let me know that I needed a nurturing career. In spring 99 I enrolled back into JCC to become a nurse. I got a job as a CNA at a private nursing home. I enjoyed the work. With the credits I already had I was ready to apply, and was accepted into the program in the fall. Joshua was 13 months old. Up until that point I was working 12 hour shifts, at night, on the weekends so I could be home when Scott was at work. Clinicals were Monday through Friday during the day. We had to put lil man in daycare for the first time. I HATED IT! I couldn't do it. I decided my "career" would have to be put on hold. I'd keep working weekends until he went to school.
My best friend had moved to Winchester. It was about an hour and a half from Louisville. She was looking to buy a house there. I went looking with her. The houses were cheaper there, I thought, "Hey, we could afford one of these!" On October 23rd we signed a contract on a three bedroom, 1400sqft house. We didn't have jobs there yet but, it felt right. The house was still under construction so we had time. In December Scott interviewed, got hired, and started working for a company who subcontracted at Toyota for $15 per hour... 50% raise... Not too bad. Plus he was guaranteed 20 hours a week overtime for the first two years! That's $54,600 annually, almost triple what he was making. This was going to require him working 6, 10 hr days. If I got a job outside the home, I would have to have childcare for Joshua. I wanted a nurturing job... Why pay someone to take care of my child, to take care of someone else? Could God have made the decision any clearer this time? We closed on January 7th. Scott only commuted for about 2wks. Both of our careers had taken a turn for the better.
On November 8th I got a big fat positive on a pregnancy test! I was suppose to be infertile... But that's another post. I enrolled for spring classes and decided to co-op for the tax season with Jackson-Hewitt. You would think being pregnant I would be happy to sit all day instead of being on my feet. I was good at it. It just didn't feel right. God had put my answer in my belly, I just didn't know it yet. All I could think about was being pregnant and having that tiny newborn in that hot little house in the middle of the summer. My Papaw died in April and after 30 years in the same house, my parents decided to upgrade. After all this was going to be their 6th grandchild (eventhough we had lost one in 96.) The family was just getting too big for that house. They decided to rent it to us... My AC prayers had been answered.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
How I met my Hubby
Next up.... CPA to SAHM
From the Beginning
It's so temping to jump to current events in my life because they excite me so much but I must resist. To understand the person I am today you have to know where I came from. I was born in 1977, the youngest of four to a stable family. My parents are still married. My mom worked in the school system so she had our summers off and we vacationed. My Dad worked at GE he would visit my mom family with us in LA but he opted out of the fun stuff. He loves us but has a hard time expressing it... plus he's a bit of a couch potato! We lived modestly in a tiny three bedroom house. I didn't mind it, and never wanted for anything. My mom and I butted heads majorly when I was a teenager.. makes me glad I have four boys and one girl so far. Our relationship has grown since I became an adult. We still have an occasional spat but are close over all. I was raised United Baptist, I guess you would say I am nondenominational at the moment. I threw together a rough time line of important events in my life from the time I was 16.
Past Timeline
1993-met Scott
1995-got married, graduated from HS, started college to be a CPA
1996-Tara(2.5 yo niece) died, told I was infertile(HA!)
1997-got flooded out, moved to Upper Hunters Trace, got pregnant
1998-papaw died, quit school, moved to Wilkie Rd, had 1st bb.
1999-Went back to school(2 semesters) to be an RN, quit again, moved to Winchester
2000-became SAHM, got preg again
2001-2nd born 1st natural birth, tried going back to work, preg again
2002-3rd born
2003-one semester at EKU
2004-attended Landmark, trying to conceive(clomid)
2005-still trying, another family tragedy, bad year, faith shaken, attempted homeschooling
2006-still trying, continued bad year... Near divorce, turning point in marriage for the best
2007-preg again, 4th born, babymoon
2008-hawaii, attempted Mary Kay, Cambrey's diagnosis(6 yo niece), loss of faith
2009-preg again, moved to WV, 5th born
2010-Cambrey's relapsed then stopped treatment, regained faith, Cambrey died, Aunt Brenda died, attended Calvary, preg again!
2011-yet to b determined
My next post will be about me meeting Scott... for friends that were on my myspace it will be a repost with a few updates as well as a few others.
Past Timeline
1993-met Scott
1995-got married, graduated from HS, started college to be a CPA
1996-Tara(2.5 yo niece) died, told I was infertile(HA!)
1997-got flooded out, moved to Upper Hunters Trace, got pregnant
1998-papaw died, quit school, moved to Wilkie Rd, had 1st bb.
1999-Went back to school(2 semesters) to be an RN, quit again, moved to Winchester
2000-became SAHM, got preg again
2001-2nd born 1st natural birth, tried going back to work, preg again
2002-3rd born
2003-one semester at EKU
2004-attended Landmark, trying to conceive(clomid)
2005-still trying, another family tragedy, bad year, faith shaken, attempted homeschooling
2006-still trying, continued bad year... Near divorce, turning point in marriage for the best
2007-preg again, 4th born, babymoon
2008-hawaii, attempted Mary Kay, Cambrey's diagnosis(6 yo niece), loss of faith
2009-preg again, moved to WV, 5th born
2010-Cambrey's relapsed then stopped treatment, regained faith, Cambrey died, Aunt Brenda died, attended Calvary, preg again!
2011-yet to b determined
My next post will be about me meeting Scott... for friends that were on my myspace it will be a repost with a few updates as well as a few others.
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